# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 400
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2026, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7992 "2026-07-12T00:16:42Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I don’t think it needs one, since the answer has already been defined as a factorial. True, but an exclam puts more bang in the joke. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2026, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7993 "2026-07-12T01:19:21Z")
But then, it risks being interpreted as 0! factorial. Which is totally diff– Oh. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2026, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7994 "2026-07-12T01:24:23Z")
“I need to borrow you phone.” “Why? How much power do you have left?” “The battery thingy was at one McConnell 20 minutes ago.” ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2026, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7995 "2026-07-12T14:50:23Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > > [@dtilque](#): > > > > Maybe I’m missing something, but shouldn’t there be an exclamation point after that number? > > I don’t think it needs one, since the answer has already been defined as a factorial. Yeah, that was my thinking. > [@dtilque](#): > > True, but an exclam puts more bang in the joke. Maybe, but when I attempt to write a joke I like it to work equally well written or spoken. I suppose the spoken version of ‘0!’ might be to say it loudly and enthusiastically. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2026, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7996 "2026-07-12T16:04:07Z")
Or use software-speech, “Oh-bang.” ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2026, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7997 "2026-07-12T16:09:29Z")
Hmm, that sounds like the punchline to quite another kind of joke 🤔 ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2026, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7998 "2026-07-12T23:13:42Z")
DENIAL: Knowing that cats have excellent night vision, then thinking that them walking across your face in the middle of the night is an accident instead of deliberate. Male commentator, “I was so excited over the McGregor fight. I waited all evening for some action and it was over in 20 seconds.” Female, “Now you know how I feel.” Turtle soup and waffles on the menu at Cafe de Hades soon. “Security is what most women are looking for in a relationship.” “How do you know that?” “Because that’s what most women yell when I start flirting with them.” “Are you going to the party?” “No, I’m a social vegan.” “A what?” “I avoid meet.” Any pan can be non-stick if I non-cook in it! Man, “Women are so hard to read.” Woman, “Well actually we just wan-…” Man interrupting, “Such complicated creatures,” Woman, “If you would just liste-…” Man, “So mysterious.” Woman, “Have you seen my Tik Tok?” Man, “Good God, How old are you? It’s called a watch.” “To all us big ladies…” “Don’t be afraid to get on top. If he dies, he dies.” “When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children. Just like the bottle says.” ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2026, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/7999 "2026-07-13T06:04:32Z")
AMAZONESIA When a package arrives and you have no idea what you ordered. Related Public Service Announcement: DON’T DRINK AND PRIME! I’m never sure if I have free time or I just forgot to do something. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2026, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8000 "2026-07-13T06:38:24Z")
What do you call a medieval lamp? A knight light. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2026, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8001 "2026-07-13T07:09:00Z")
If every vehicle in our country was pink, what would our country be called? A pink carnation. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2026, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8002 "2026-07-13T08:44:02Z")
William Shatner tried to start a lingerie brand. “Shatner panties” just didn’t work out. (This is another of those “say it out loud” jokes.) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2026, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8003 "2026-07-13T20:51:21Z")
Satan: “I punish evil doers in the afterlife for all eternity and _I’m the bad guy_?” Sheesh. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2026, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8004 "2026-07-13T23:05:32Z")
[![](https://i.ibb.co/pBLcbRCD/Mc-Connell-Dewey-Truman.jpg) ](https://i.ibb.co/pBLcbRCD/Mc-Connell-Dewey-Truman.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8005 "2026-07-14T01:00:28Z")
imgbb is being stubborn again. I’m just seeing an “Upgrade to Pro” message there. EDIT: But from the filename, I can guess what that is. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8006 "2026-07-14T01:54:41Z")
The newspaper has been altered to the Dewey Defeats Truman headline in the 1948 Chicago Daily Tribune ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8007 "2026-07-14T02:21:32Z")
Altered to what? ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8008 "2026-07-14T03:58:02Z")
Altered from what? ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8009 "2026-07-14T05:16:04Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Altered to what? Replacing the real newspaper with this famour photo’s newspaper. [![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/09/Dewey_Defeats_Truman.jpg/330px-Dewey_Defeats_Truman.jpg) ](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/09/Dewey_Defeats_Truman.jpg/330px-Dewey_Defeats_Truman.jpg) > [@Ponderoid](#): > > Altered from what? The original _USA Today_ or whatever it was. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8010 "2026-07-14T12:29:49Z")
I know the photo. How was the image we can’t see altered to use it? Was the headline changed to ‘McConnell Defeats Truman’? ‘Truman Defeats McConnell’? I’m trying to understand how the famous photo could be turned into a McConnell joke. ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8011 "2026-07-14T12:36:19Z")
To solve this conundrum, please find a different image host for your image? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=399) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=401)