# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 401
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8012 "2026-07-14T12:55:42Z")
A photo like the one that McConnell’s team released is proof that the person is alive today, because they’re holding today’s newspaper. The altered photo is proof that McConnell was alive on November 3, 1948. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8013 "2026-07-14T13:50:53Z")
Does this one work? [![Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/Qpg4SJ7.jpeg "imgur.com") ](https://imgur.com/Qpg4SJ7) ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8014 "2026-07-14T14:40:11Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Does this one work Works great! ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8015 "2026-07-14T14:52:09Z")
I don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8016 "2026-07-14T15:00:29Z")
As @Chronos explained: > [@Chronos](#): > > A photo like the one that McConnell’s team released is proof that the person is alive today, because they’re holding today’s newspaper. The altered photo is proof that McConnell was alive on November 3, 1948. I would add that, while Photoshopping McConnell’s image to “prove” he is still alive, the bumbling Trump team effed up and pasted the wrong newspaper in his hands. mmm ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8017 "2026-07-14T16:10:17Z")
The headline was not altered at all; it was still Dewey/Trueman ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8018 "2026-07-14T18:25:35Z")
Since you’re a random British bloke, I assume you don’t have the necessary background? One of the most famous blunders in US journalism was a “Dewey defeats Truman” headline in the Chicago Daily Tribune, after the 1948 election when Harry S Truman defeated Thomas E. Dewey. There’s a famous picture of Truman beamingly holding up the paper as well. So the joke is that it’s a very old, yet very famous newspaper that Mitch is holding. > **[Dewey Defeats Truman](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dewey_Defeats_Truman)** > > "Dewey Defeats Truman" was an erroneous banner headline on the front page of the earliest editions of the Chicago Daily Tribune on November 3, 1948, the day after Harry S. Truman, the incumbent president of the United States, won an upset victory over his opponent, Governor Thomas E. Dewey of New York, in the 1948 presidential election. A copy of the paper with the incorrect headline was famously held up by Truman on November 4 at St. Louis Union Station after confirmation of his successful ele... ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8019 "2026-07-14T19:07:51Z")
Thanks!. Between that and [this](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c9d2dx059n1o?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss) sort of thing I think I understand now… Finally ! ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8020 "2026-07-14T19:13:03Z")
It’s similar to if they put a “Titanic Sinks” or “Archduke Ferdinand assassinated in Sarajevo” headline in the photo, but with the political twist to it. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8021 "2026-07-14T20:06:02Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > Thanks!. Between that and [this](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/videos/c9d2dx059n1o?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=rss) sort of thing I think I understand now… > Finally ! I am guilty of often forgetting that not everyone lives in the U.S. FWIW, I was in the U.K. for two weeks recently, my first time there, and loved every part of it. mmm ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2026, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8022 "2026-07-14T22:35:42Z")
Anyway, after that, “Gee, not everything thought universal is, after all,” interregnum… What did the necktie say to the hat? You go on ahead. I’ll hang around. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2026, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8023 "2026-07-15T03:46:51Z")
> [@DesertDog](#): > > The headline was not altered at all; it was still Dewey/Trueman There was no way to know, without a picture or a description. The only thing offered was a URL that mentioned Dewey, Truman, and McConnell. So it was all guessing at what someone else saw. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2026, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8024 "2026-07-15T10:24:19Z")
Weirdly, the image showed fine when I first posted it. Now it does not. Can we get back to the jokes? What did the New England magician say to the fisherman? Pick a cod, any cod. ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2026, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8025 "2026-07-15T13:38:59Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Weirdly, the image showed fine when I first posted it. Now it does not. We’ve seen that before here; imgbb will change things after the fact. One possible explanation is their system or a human moderator has decided to censor the image, and the error message it produces is a lie. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2026, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8026 "2026-07-15T14:03:46Z")
That could actually make sense, here: There are a lot of faked-up versions of that picture going around and spreading misinformation, and they might be trying to put a stop to that by censoring any picture that looks like it’s based on the McConnell picture. Of course, this particular one is an obvious joke, but that’s probably not obvious to whatever automated filter they’re using to check. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2026, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8027 "2026-07-16T05:46:49Z")
A priest giving last rites asks the nearly deceased to renounce Satan and all his works: He replies, "Now now, my good man, this is no time to make enemies ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2026, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8028 "2026-07-16T15:40:17Z")
If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2026, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8029 "2026-07-16T16:01:13Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > A guy shows a photo of his wife to the guy sitting on the next bar stool. “Isn’t she stunning?” > Second guy says, “If you think she’s stunning, you should see my wife.” > “Why, she’s beautiful, too?” > “No, she’s an optometrist.” One of the best of the recent batch! 😁 ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2026, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8030 "2026-07-16T21:46:52Z")
Knock knock Who’s there? Little old lady Little old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel. ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2026, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8031 "2026-07-17T05:00:17Z")
Ha! That’s pretty good. Long setup and I did not see the punchline coming. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=400) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=402)