# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 402
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8032 "2026-07-18T00:14:31Z")
I was asked to for my age at the liquor store. I fumbled my wallet and a Blockbuster Video membership card fell out. The clerk said, “Never mind”. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8033 "2026-07-18T02:50:05Z")
Co-worker, “Can I ask a stupid question?” Me, “Better than anyone I know.” Washing clothes is fine. Drying clothes is fine. The basket sitting in the corner while I live out of it for two weeks like a feral raccoon is where the entire system breaks down. [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_2,h_100,w_95,c_scale,f_avif/v200/z1anngj3p6hpobc35pac) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/q_60,fl_lossy,dpr_2,h_100,w_95,c_scale,f_avif/v200/z1anngj3p6hpobc35pac) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8034 "2026-07-18T14:01:30Z")
### You’re listening to Sisyphus FM… The home of non-stop Rock! ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8035 "2026-07-18T14:25:27Z")
Yay ! Prof’s back ! Hope the eye thing went well ! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8036 "2026-07-18T14:29:12Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > The home of non-stop Rock! I laughed out loud at that one. (And shared it. 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8037 "2026-07-18T14:47:40Z")
Welcome back, Prof.! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8038 "2026-07-18T15:49:21Z")
Yeah, what with insurance pains, I won’t actually have my procedure until mid-August, but I can’t stay away that long. Please excuse typoos. ### Fellow Americans, want to hear a Belgian joke? I have 1-4 you. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8039 "2026-07-18T15:52:23Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Fellow Americans, want to hear a Belgian joke? > > I have 1-4 you. Gianni Infantino picks up the phone. The caller says, ‘I just need you to find me four more goals.’ ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8040 "2026-07-18T16:04:40Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### You’re listening to Sisyphus FM… > > The home of non-stop Rock! Not just Rock, but Rock and Roll, amirite? Glad you’re back, Prof! ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8041 "2026-07-18T16:15:13Z")
Next up, “Like a Rolling Stone”, followed by “Let Me Roll It” and “Running Up That Hill”. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8042 "2026-07-18T16:32:59Z")
..then “Never Ending Story”. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8043 "2026-07-18T17:59:58Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Next up, “Like a Rolling Stone”, followed by “Let Me Roll It” and “Running Up That Hill”. > [@pjd](#): > > ..then “Never Ending Story”. With ‘(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction’ somewhere in the mix, as well? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8044 "2026-07-18T18:22:10Z")
It looks like a hit-and-myth selection. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8045 "2026-07-18T19:59:44Z")
I have a subscription to the serial, “Understanding Women for Dummies”. [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/bqluiwudcydvuda06kt2) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/bqluiwudcydvuda06kt2) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8046 "2026-07-18T20:43:16Z")
Me: “I’m going to start eating healthy.” Lettuce: “I’m going to give you explosive diarrhea.” Oreos in the pantry: “I would never do that to you.” With all the wildfire smoke going on, I think we’d all be a lot happier if Canada was covered in marijuana fields. “Are you drinking again?” “It’s just tea.” “Really? What kind?” “Tea-quila.” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8047 "2026-07-18T21:39:09Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > ..then “Never Ending Story”. There’s plenty to choose from. [“We Will Rock You”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Will_Rock_You) [“Like a Rock”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Like_a_Rock) Then the grandmommy of them all. [“My Man Rocks Me (with One Steady Roll)”](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trixie_Smith) I think we’ve struck a vein here. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2026, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8048 "2026-07-18T21:43:47Z")
Or, to choose another Stones song, ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’. Except, in the case of Sisyphus, it’d be ‘You Can’t _Ever_ Get What You Want’. To roll on to another joke topic: **What’s the difference between President trump and a flying pig?** The letter ‘F’. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8049 "2026-07-19T08:24:03Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Or, to choose another Stones song, ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’. > > Except, in the case of Sisyphus, it’d be ‘You Can’t _Ever_ Get What You Want’. That’s more Tantalus’s theme. Although he can’t get what he needs either. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8050 "2026-07-19T18:02:13Z")
### Never run with bagpipes. You might get kilt. ---
**Author:** ![its\_the\_daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bb73d2/32.png) [@its\_the\_daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/its_the_daddy)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2026, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8051 "2026-07-19T18:21:55Z")
What’s the difference between bagpipes and a trampoline? You should always take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=401) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=403)