# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 405
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2026, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8092 "2026-07-27T18:28:18Z")
Two priests went on vacation to Hawaii. Determined to have a GOOD vacation, they decided to go incognito - nobody would know they’re priests. As soon as the plane landed, they bought aloha shirts, shorts, sunglasses, the works. Went to the beach the next morning in full “tourist” garb, sat down with drinks (with little paper umbrellas!) and enjoyed the sunshine. Soon, a gorgeous blonde strolled by, topless, wearing just a thong. She smiled and said, “Hello, Father. Good morning, Father.” and walked along. Well! They marched right back to the tourist shop and bought even more outrageously tourist-y things. Next morning, dressed like parrots, they plopped down on the beach with their drinks. Sure enough, here comes the topless blonde, wearing what can best be described as “a string.” As she walks past, she gives each a polite smile, and a “Good morning, Father. Good morning, Father.” and continues on her way. One of the priests can’t stand it anymore, and hurries up to her. “Excuse me, may I ask a question?” “Of course, Father.” “How did you know we were priests?!” “Father. Don’t you know me? I’m Sister Angela.” ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2026, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8093 "2026-07-27T20:13:57Z")
so an Indian walks into the saloon carrying a shotgun, a bucket of shit and a dead cat and asks the bartender for a whiskey the Indian drinks off the whiskey, takes the shotgun and shoots the bucket, then takes a bit out of the cat so the Indian asks for another whiskey and then does it all over again the bartender says "what’s all this about’? the Indian replies " um want to be like white man, drink whiskey, shoot the shit, eat pussy" ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2026, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8094 "2026-07-27T20:14:39Z")
bite out of the cat ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2026, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8095 "2026-07-30T01:50:43Z")
What do you call a gigantic pile of cats? A meowntain. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2026, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8096 "2026-07-31T01:49:25Z")
What do you call the crater of a meowntain that’s shaped like a volcano? The clowdera. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8097 "2026-08-01T02:20:49Z")
What’s the difference between a dirty transportation loading area, and a lobster with boob implants? One is a crusty bus station, the other is a busty crustacean. (I am so sorry.) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8098 "2026-08-01T03:18:18Z")
Cursory search didn’t find this oldie: [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/nhf93tvdhrehqlqy90ep) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/nhf93tvdhrehqlqy90ep) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2026, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8099 "2026-08-01T10:01:24Z")
**I have the body of a 30-year old.** It’s starting to smell. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2026, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8100 "2026-08-05T02:49:19Z")
Got up early, special day. There was no #@\*¢}ing worm!😡 Renewed my license today. Eyes: BROWN Hair: BROWN (stinkeye from the clerk, I’m 77) Weight: 195 (suppressed laughter / smirk) Still got it though. Two years and I go through this again. ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2026, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8101 "2026-08-05T04:39:38Z")
> [@smithsb](#): > > Got up early, special day. > There was no #@\*¢}ing worm!😡 The early worm gets eaten. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2026, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8102 "2026-08-05T11:58:03Z")
Yeah, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2026, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8103 "2026-08-05T23:10:34Z")
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood donation center. The nurse asks “Do you all know your blood type? The rabbit says “Pretty sure I’m a Type O”. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2026, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8104 "2026-08-06T17:37:15Z")
Was he positive? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2026, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8105 "2026-08-08T02:59:53Z")
If a blackbird has black babies, and a bluebird has blue babies, what kind of bird has no babies? A swallow. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2026, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8106 "2026-08-08T03:01:22Z")
Very good! ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2026, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8107 "2026-08-08T03:08:22Z")
What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of his teeth? A flossiraptor! ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2026, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8108 "2026-08-08T03:38:28Z")
What kind of bees make milk? Boobies. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2026, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8109 "2026-08-08T05:06:48Z")
Two friends are in a bar talking. One complains, “When I stay out late like this no matter how quiet and careful I am arriving home the wife wakes up and gives me hell.” The other replied, "You’re going about it all wrong. Me, I wait until I’m a half-block from home, rev 'er up and come to a screeching halt in the driveway. I slam the car door as loud as I can, fumble at the front door for at least a minute then slam that shut too. I tromp up the stairs and into the bedroom where I give whatever’s sticking up the highest a slap and say loudly, "Howzabout it, babe-e-e-e-e? “She always pretends to be asleep.” ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2026, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8110 "2026-08-08T18:08:30Z")
Important charts and diagrams: [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/hbaerqprj8s6wwytmvt5) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/hbaerqprj8s6wwytmvt5) [![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/nmxlgwc8eromiyjgskdc) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/nmxlgwc8eromiyjgskdc) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2026, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8111 "2026-08-08T18:20:10Z")
There comes an age where you don’t care how you look in photos anymore. You just what to look good in MRIs, Ultrasounds, and CT scans. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=404) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=406)