# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 409
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2026, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8172 "2026-08-30T15:02:25Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### What’s long, hard, and scary when you first see it? > > Calculus homework. But a lot of fun once you get going. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2026, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8173 "2026-08-30T15:06:13Z")
> [@solost](#): > > > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > > > ### **Why did the noble gas cry?** > > > > Because all his friends argon. > > When they got sick he tried to helium, but it was too late. When they failed they had to barium. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2026, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8174 "2026-08-30T15:11:40Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > When they failed they had to barium. Barium? I thought they were able to get a Krypton sale. ---
**Author:** ![colinfred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colinfred/32/21338_2.png) [@colinfred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colinfred)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2026, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8175 "2026-08-30T15:16:39Z")
Couldn’t get it as there was a raid on the premises ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2026, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8176 "2026-08-30T15:20:14Z")
Oh, that’s right, I heard about the raid… xenon the TV news. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2026, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8177 "2026-08-30T15:25:30Z")
I heard toward the end, they needed multiple joint replacements. The docs never got to do hip replacement surgery, but they were able to get a Neon. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2026, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8178 "2026-08-30T15:26:48Z")
I guess there’s nothing left for me to say, but… Og Smash! ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2026, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8179 "2026-08-30T15:33:54Z")
What, can’t make a proper pun out of ‘Oganesson’? Amateur. 😏 ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2026, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8180 "2026-08-30T15:46:29Z")
More that I couldn’t remember how it was spelled. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2026, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8181 "2026-08-30T17:16:50Z")
Agamemnon was one of the elements of the Iliad. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2026, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8182 "2026-08-31T15:04:16Z")
### September is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month Never forget… * * * ### Apparently most babies are born in September I suppose that’s one way to start the new year off with a bang. * * * ### Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle. October through May, then June through September. * * * ### The first rule of Paradox Club is not the first rule of Paradox Club. * * * ### Noble gas jokes are rubbish I never get a reaction from them… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2026, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8183 "2026-08-31T17:11:16Z")
### I will be posting telepathically this week. If you suddenly have a funny thought, that was me. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2026, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8184 "2026-09-01T18:55:48Z")
One of the most well-known motherfuckers in literary history has to be Oedipus. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2026, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8185 "2026-09-01T21:07:07Z")
I bought a pet termite this fine morning, and I named him Clint. > Dare I ask why? Because Clint eats wood. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2026, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8186 "2026-09-02T04:29:12Z")
[![](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/izryzidxtme0iip5y34u) ](https://images.spot.im/image/upload/v200/izryzidxtme0iip5y34u) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2026, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8187 "2026-09-02T09:05:20Z")
Pythagoras walks into a bar and asks “Which one is the hypotenuse?” The barman replies “y, the long face.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2026, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8188 "2026-09-02T12:54:56Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > “Which one is the hypotenuse?” The coffee pot perking on the upper shelf. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2026, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8189 "2026-09-02T13:14:02Z")
While working construction I accidently banged myself in the crotch with a tool. It was a ball pain hammer. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2026, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8190 "2026-09-02T22:39:26Z")
_ **My girlfriend would be a 10, …** _ But she talks about Hogwarts a lot, So that puts her at 9 3/4. ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2026, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8191 "2026-09-03T01:12:05Z")
my girlfriend is a perfect 10 also: 5 for looks 3 for personality 2 for brains [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=408) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=410)