# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 41
**Author:** ![PozhanPop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pozhanpop/32/8022_2.png) [@PozhanPop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PozhanPop)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2021, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/811 "2021-10-01T18:42:18Z")
Fantastic ! ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2021, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/812 "2021-10-01T20:43:06Z")
Just one more example of the elderly being invisible to youngsters… ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/813 "2021-10-02T01:09:37Z")
Some/many of you may remember Dan Quisenberry (RIP) relief pitcher for the KC Royals. I found these quotes of his. > Reggie Jackson hit one off me that’s still burrowing its way to Los Angeles. > > The future is much like the present, only longer. > > I became a better pitcher when I found a delivery in my flaw. [Source, more here](https://www.azquotes.com/author/11995-Dan_Quisenberry) ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/814 "2021-10-02T01:26:58Z")
Why did Van Gogh fail art school? He was a poor student. Everything his instructors tried to tell him just went in one ear. . . ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/815 "2021-10-02T13:10:55Z")
What is a honeymoon salad? Lettuce alone without dressing. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/816 "2021-10-02T18:49:06Z")
Here’s one I just thought of today while wondering what to have for lunch: Two coworkers are talking… **Coworker 1** : I got some pretty bad indigestion after eating lunch at that Middle Eastern restaurant next door. **Coworker 2** : Falafel? **Coworker 1** : Well, I sure don’t feel great! ---
**Author:** ![Bonum\_Legatum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bonum_legatum/32/6183_2.png) [@Bonum\_Legatum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bonum_Legatum)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/817 "2021-10-02T20:12:28Z")
The sailor went on sick call because his foot was hurting. The corpsman gave him a large pill (used to be called a horse pill) but had to leave on the run for an emergency patient. So the sailor hobbled over to the water fountain and managed to choke the pill down. Then the corpsman came back carrying a bucket and said “OK - Drop that pill into this bucket and let’s soak that foot.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2021, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/818 "2021-10-02T21:10:51Z")
Someone has named all the lunches in the work refrigerator. Today I had a ham sandwich named Jennifer. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2021, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/819 "2021-10-03T01:07:21Z")
I asked the waitress for a quickie, and she slapped me. The old lady next to me said, ‘It’s pronounced “quiche”, dear.’ ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2021, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/820 "2021-10-03T02:20:51Z")
What’s the difference between a dog and a fox? About six beers. What do you call two cunnilinguists named Bob? Oral Roberts Some Titles/Authors: Things That Itch by Mike Rotch Kitty’s Revenge by Claude Balls What’s for Dinner? by Biff Wellington Hold it Together by Scott Schtape A Trip to the Dentist by Lord Howard Hertz The Bartender’s Manual by Phyllis Glass ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2021, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/821 "2021-10-03T02:46:32Z")
This is sublime! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2021, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/822 "2021-10-03T14:10:21Z")
A father told his daughter, ‘Go to bed. The cows are sleeping in the field.’ The daughter says, ‘What’s that got to do with anything?’ The dad said, ‘It’s pasture bed time.’ ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2021, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/823 "2021-10-03T16:32:54Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > Some Titles/Authors: > > Things That Itch by Mike Rotch > Kitty’s Revenge by Claude Balls > What’s for Dinner? by Biff Wellington > Hold it Together by Scott Schtape > A Trip to the Dentist by Lord Howard Hertz > The Bartender’s Manual by Phyllis Glass The Trekkers will love this one: Dammit, Jim! by Ima Doktor and Nada Brickleyer ---
**Author:** ![De\_La\_Rue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@De\_La\_Rue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/De_La_Rue)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2021, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/824 "2021-10-03T22:38:24Z")
> [@lobotomyboy63](#): > > Some Titles/Authors: _The Yellow River_, by I.P. Daily ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2021, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/825 "2021-10-04T00:22:33Z")
50 Yards to the Outhouse by Willy Makeit, illustrated by Betty Wont ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2021, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/826 "2021-10-04T10:24:36Z")
_A Funny Thing Happened_ by Sir Eos Le-Though Folxe. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2021, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/827 "2021-10-05T20:49:28Z")
### I was going to finalize my research as to why vaccines are bad today But all of the research sites are down. * * * ### My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something. * * * ### I went to the bookstore … I went to the bookstore and saw a book called; How to solve 50% of your problems. ’ I bought two. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2021, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/828 "2021-10-05T20:55:35Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### I was going to finalize my research as to why vaccines are bad today > > But all of the research sites are down. Ouch! That would hurt those ‘researchers’ if they understood it! > [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### My girlfriend treats me like a god. > > She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something. Does she serve you burnt offerings? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2021, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/829 "2021-10-05T21:27:47Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### My girlfriend treats me like a god. > > She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something. Sounds like my cats. ---
**Author:** ![PozhanPop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pozhanpop/32/8022_2.png) [@PozhanPop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PozhanPop)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2021, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/830 "2021-10-05T23:40:10Z")
That made me collapse 🤣 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=40) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=42)