# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 415
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2026, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8292 "2026-09-29T19:15:46Z")
How do you count cows? šŸ„ With a cow-culator. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2026, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8293 "2026-09-29T22:43:50Z")
I spotted an albino Dalmatian. I figured I had to do something. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2026, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8294 "2026-09-29T23:02:37Z")
If ā€œfat chanceā€ and ā€œslim chanceā€ mean the same thing, what is the ideal BMI of fate? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2026, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8295 "2026-09-30T02:15:16Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > How do you count cows? šŸ„ > > With a cow-culator. **What do chickens use to do math?** Cackle-ators. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2026, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8296 "2026-10-01T07:54:13Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > **What do chickens use to do math?** > > Cackle-ators. Mathemachicken. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2026, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8297 "2026-10-01T14:51:32Z")
Hereā€™s one I came up with on the spur of the moment when my wife and I were at an arts and crafts fair this past weekend. She had stopped at a booth selling fancy candlesā€¦ Me: What do you call a candle that wonā€™t light? Wife: (answering reluctantly, knowing a bad pun was coming) What? Me: A canā€™tle ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2026, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8298 "2026-10-01T14:54:08Z")
Bravo! Thatā€™s funnier than quite a few jokes in this thread (IMHO, of course). ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2026, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8299 "2026-10-01T14:55:05Z")
Why, thank you! šŸ˜Š ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2026, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8300 "2026-10-01T21:57:22Z")
A local columnist asked for a term for those fake security cameras. I came up with Candidnā€™t Camera. ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2026, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8301 "2026-10-02T02:34:13Z")
and briefer than some too ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2026, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8302 "2026-10-02T10:39:39Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > Bravo! Thatā€™s funnier than quite a few jokes in this thread (IMHO, of course). I didnā€™t mean to sound like a sourpuss about this thread overall. Itā€™s been one of my favorite threads, for years. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2026, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8303 "2026-10-02T11:37:16Z")
Agreed. Thanks again to @Prof.Pepperwinkle for his labors. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2026, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8304 "2026-10-02T13:29:41Z")
This one brought up memories of a very old Luann comic strip panel that I had cut out and put on my wall in college. IIRC, which Iā€™m sure I donā€™t, Luann says ā€œthen he said that Iā€™m letting my canā€™t side get bigger than my canā€ and her brother retorts ā€œheā€™s not looking at you from the right angleā€ ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2026, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8305 "2026-10-02T14:09:46Z")
Brevity is the soul of wit. And lingerie. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2026, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8306 "2026-10-02T14:37:18Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > he said that Iā€™m letting my canā€™t side get bigger than my canā€ Google says that letting oneā€™s canā€™t side get bigger than oneā€™s can is a Southern (U.S., I guess) idiom. ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2026, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8307 "2026-10-02T14:53:06Z")
so true, jokes that take 2 pages to unspool is too long for me ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2026, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8308 "2026-10-02T17:49:56Z")
Hmm, you know what I just realized? Iā€™ve never had an epiphany. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2026, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8309 "2026-10-02T18:51:54Z")
### When I heard about Russellā€™s Paradoxā€¦ ā€¦I couldnā€™t contain myself! * * * ### In the movie ā€˜The Hunt for Red Octoberā€™ ā€¦ the entire story is the sub-plot. * * * ### Everyone argues over writing dates 2 October or October 2, either wayā€¦ 10/2 your own darn business. * * * ### Iā€™d like to thank all the girls on Tinder for helping to make my October extra spookyā€¦ All that ghosting really got me in the Halloween spirit. * * * ### How does the spoiled little rich girl change her lightbulb? ā€œDaddy, I need a new apartment.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2026, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8310 "2026-10-03T02:22:49Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > And lingerie. ā€˜Lingerie. Remember lingerie?ā€™ > [@fedman1](#): > > so true, jokes that take 2 pages to unspool is too long for me ā€˜Nope. Too shaggy.ā€™ ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2026, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8311 "2026-10-03T02:39:05Z")
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