# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 419
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2026, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8372 "2026-10-18T00:07:32Z")
I bought a gun but I could not figure out how to fire it. Luckily, the manual had a trouble shooting section. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2026, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8373 "2026-10-20T21:02:29Z")
### Reading Jane Austen is essential. Thecdinosaurs didn’t read her books, and look whar happened to them! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2026, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8374 "2026-10-21T01:10:32Z")
### Why did the chicken cross the road? She wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. * * * ### What sound does a piano make when it falls down a mineshaft? A flat minor. * * * ### Never go to bed hungry. You might lie awake with insomnomnomnomnia. * * * ### What’s the best way to quit vegetarianism? Cold turkey. * * * ### What is an underutilized word for something is probably true? Nearfetched. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2026, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8375 "2026-10-21T13:38:39Z")
### What do you call glassware from Jamaica? Pyrex of the Caribbean ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2026, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8376 "2026-10-21T14:44:16Z")
So, to make a long story short, I became an editor. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2026, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8377 "2026-10-21T16:30:54Z")
**I try to avoid junk food, but I have a hard time resisting it.** I guess you could call it a ‘love / ate relationship’. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2026, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8378 "2026-10-21T23:32:14Z")
I went bald years ago but I still carry around my comb. I just can’t part with it. ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2026, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8379 "2026-10-22T02:56:28Z")
There once was a man From Peru, who confused Limericks with haikus ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2026, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8380 "2026-10-22T02:58:17Z")
Please help! I am trapped In a haiku factory Save me before they ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2026, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8381 "2026-10-22T17:45:58Z")
There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two. There once was a man from Verdun. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2026, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8382 "2026-10-22T20:30:34Z")
There once was a young lady of Boston, Mass. Who went wading in water up to her knees This doesn’t rhyme But it will when the tide comes in ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2026, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8383 "2026-10-23T01:43:43Z")
### I lost my haiku Please tell me if you see it. Thank you very much. * * * ### There was a young lady from Clyde who ate a bad apple & died. the apple fermented inside the lamented, making cider inside her insides! * * * ### Apparently the world tongue twister champion was recently arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a tough sentence. * * * ### What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year? You’ll get autumn’y ache. * * * ### Why do cows never walk out of horror movies? They’re able to stomach a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2026, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8384 "2026-10-23T02:12:04Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > There was a young lady from Clyde I liked that one. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CobaltBlade75](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@CobaltBlade75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CobaltBlade75)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2026, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8385 "2026-10-23T02:12:36Z")
This post was flagged by the community and is temporarily hidden. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2026, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8386 "2026-10-23T02:18:23Z")
Way back when I was a teenager, I gave my (completely bald) father a gift of a hairbrush, without any bristles. ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2026, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8387 "2026-10-23T11:27:25Z")
Roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems rhyme - This one doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2026, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8388 "2026-10-23T12:46:29Z")
> [@CobaltBlade75](#): > > The lion setup seems to be missing its ending, which leaves me curious. If you’re referring to the joke in the first post of this thread, the joke is that it’s quiet, despite it being Saturday, because … _there are 2 lions walking around_ ! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2026, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8389 "2026-10-23T17:12:39Z")
### Before Mt. Rushmore was carved, It’s beauty was unpresidented. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2026, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8390 "2026-10-23T18:03:11Z")
There once was a man from the sticks, Who loved to compose limericks But he failed at his sport, They were always too short ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2026, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/8391 "2026-10-23T19:14:11Z")
Rose’s are red Violet’s are blue Mine are orange What colour are yours? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=418) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=420)