# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 70
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1392 "2022-02-06T08:02:15Z")
A canola plant walked into a bar… Oh wait, sorry, no rape jokes. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1393 "2022-02-06T08:12:34Z")
Well done. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1394 "2022-02-06T12:07:55Z")
It’s a little curious that an alarm sounds whenever there is a joke about rape, but jokes about Hansen’s disease (leprosy) are allowed to populate the thread and generate snickers. Both conditions create victims through no fault of their own; victims who are stigmatized by society. Admittedly, rape is more widespread than Hansen’s, and contains an element of violence that Hansen’s does not. That said, should we be choosing to be kind to some and not others? It’s not too late. If we ban leprosy jokes now we can still save some face. mmm ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1395 "2022-02-06T14:54:30Z")
Hands down the thread winner. ---
**Author:** ![a6ka97](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@a6ka97](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a6ka97)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1396 "2022-02-06T16:34:51Z")
A lady who is not the brightest star in the sky (ditsy blond in probably politically incorrect now) give birth to a daughter. When friends came to visit they asked what she named her daughter. She said the hospital named her already. “What are you talking about” they sked her, “the hospital doesn’t name your kids”. “Yes, they do” she said “her name is Famalee, says right her on the baby’s arm bracelet”. The bracelet said FEMALE. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1397 "2022-02-06T17:23:04Z")
A Mexican friend told me that, supposedly, a Mexican family with limited formal education named their son “Usmaíl,” after seeing letters and packages labeled “US Mail.” Might be an urban legend; and, actually, it’s quite a lovely sounding name, with the sort of Old Testament vibe many Mexican families dig. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1398 "2022-02-06T17:52:13Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > it’s quite a lovely sounding name Like Placenta and Chlamydia. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1399 "2022-02-06T17:54:23Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Like Placenta and Chlamydia Candida ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1400 "2022-02-06T17:56:45Z")
Is that what Tony Orlando was singing about? 😲 ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1401 "2022-02-06T17:57:51Z")
I heard about a Welsh man named Clive Owen Jones He travelled the World with a monogrammed suitcase. Everything was fine until he arrived in a Spanish speaking country. Customs officials were interested to hear exactly why he has **COJONES** written on his case. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2022, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1402 "2022-02-06T17:59:17Z")
What was the Welshman doing on the side of the road? Having a leek. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1403 "2022-02-07T12:23:00Z")
Hmmm who hasn’t been offended yet? Dsylictecs Untie! ---
**Author:** ![TCMF-2L](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tcmf-2l/32/16553_2.png) [@TCMF-2L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TCMF-2L)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1404 "2022-02-07T13:35:21Z")
How can you tell what clan a Scotsman belongs to? After first gaining his consent, stick your hands up his kilt. If you can feel a couple of Quarter Pounders he’s a McDonald. TCMF-2L ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1405 "2022-02-07T14:52:28Z")
Paddy moved to New York from a small town in Ireland, and to ease his homesickness he found a pub-style bar near his apartment. One Friday evening he sits down at the bar and orders 3 Guinness Stouts and 3 shots of Bushmill’s Irish Whiskey. The bartender says “that’s a lot to order all at once. The Guinness will be fresher if I tap it for you as you need it”. Paddy explains that before he and his two brothers all moved to different parts of the world, even though they couldn’t get together in person they vowed to still get together for a stout and a shot in spirit every Friday night. The bartender said, that sounds like a nice tradition, and gets him the 3 stouts and 3 shots. Every Friday night for months thereafter, Paddy showed up, ordered 3 stouts and 3 shots, drank them and left. Then one Friday night Paddy only orders 2 stouts and 2 shots. The bartender says, “I’m very sorry for your loss”. Paddy says, “come again?” The bartender says he assumed that one of Paddy’s brothers had passed on. “No, nothing like that. I just quit drinking”. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1406 "2022-02-07T15:11:31Z")
> [@Mr.Duality](#): > > Hmmm who hasn’t been offended yet? I think we need a list of which groups are OK to tell jokes about, and which we can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1407 "2022-02-07T17:36:51Z")
### I got into a fight with 1,3,5,7 and 9. The odds were against me. * * * ### You can’t spell advertisements without semen between the tits. * * * # ### Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains. What should I do? Pull yourself together. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1408 "2022-02-07T17:48:28Z")
Guy goes to a wizard and asks “Can you remove a curse that a priest has put on me?” The wizard replies, “Maybe. Do you remember the exact words he used?” “I sure do. He said ‘I now pronounce you man and wife’”. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2022, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1409 "2022-02-07T22:04:25Z")
Marriage isn’t a word - it’s a sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1410 "2022-02-08T00:30:03Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > ### Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains. What should I do? > > Pull yourself together. No drape jokes! ('sok, I’ll see myself out) ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2022, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1411 "2022-02-08T00:49:05Z")
Why did Luke Skywalker burn the pancake? He wouldn’t turn to the da- Sorry, no crêpe jokes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=69) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=71)