# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 75
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2022, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1492 "2022-02-17T15:00:00Z")
This one straight from recent headlines: (AP News) Albuquerque, NM. The body of long-time Santa Fe antiquities/curios dealer Sean O’Malley was found in a field near Belen, NM, this weekend, a victim of an apparent execution-style gunshot wound to the back of the head. Authorities are investigating the murder as drug-related violence, and are following leads that O’Malley was successfully smuggling shipments of cocaine hidden in his antiques, angering rival cartels. The location of the body, found in a flooded rice field adjacent to the Rio Grande is thought to be a message to other Albuquerque cartels. It would. . . serve as New Mexico’s first knick-knack paddy whack in recent history. Tripler This was performed live, at a staff meeting, yesterday. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2022, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1493 "2022-02-17T15:32:41Z")
Did you hear the ones about the curtains? Sorry, no drape jokes. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2022, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1494 "2022-02-17T15:47:09Z")
Oh, there you go with the ethnic slurs! ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2022, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1495 "2022-02-17T16:34:04Z")
I’ve restored the thread name to remove the giant “no rape joke” warning. This is not a change of policy. Rape jokes are still not allowed. But i added a mod note at the start, and i hope the regulars have figured that out by now. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![cytop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f17d59/32.png) [@cytop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cytop)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2022, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1496 "2022-02-17T18:47:27Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > …found in a flooded rice field… Considering the name you used, you could have simplified that somewhat by leaving out the reference to the rice paddy… – Gets hat and leaves… ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2022, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1497 "2022-02-17T20:19:23Z")
Further moderating: It’s been observed that a lot of posts, including these > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Sorry, no drape jokes. > [@cochrane](#): > > Oh, wait a minute. No grape jokes allowed. > [@kayaker](#): > > > [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > > > “No rape jokes” both saddens and angers me, > > Stop by the sister thread ONLY RAPE JOKES. and several earlier ones, are all about “rape jokes”. I hope you’ve all gotten that out of your system. Some people would like to enjoy a light-hearted joke thread without having rape be the topic du jour, and in this thread, we’d like to accommodate them. I am hereby requesting that the topic be dropped, and this thread can return to it’s usual funny ways. Thanks, everyone. (and if that really bothers you, please DM me, and don’t bring it up here.) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2022, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1498 "2022-02-17T23:04:02Z")
What gets me is that you popped Prof. Pepperwinkle, who I consider one of the most respectable people here. Then you changed the thread title and made us all look like horrible perverts. All we wanted in the first place was what you’re calling for now. I have zero respect for you as a result. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1499 "2022-02-18T01:15:09Z")
In retrospect, I didn’t realize it was a slur. I apologize and self-flagged it to be removed. Trip ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1500 "2022-02-18T01:21:02Z")
I was being funny. Still, it makes me wonder which racial/ethnic/religious/national groups are OK to make jokes about, and which aren’t. Saint Patrick’s Day is coming up… ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1501 "2022-02-18T02:25:16Z")
What’s a lawyer’s favorite drink? Subpoena Colada! ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1502 "2022-02-18T02:31:06Z")
What is on the menu at the Karma Café? Just Desserts. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1503 "2022-02-18T02:36:03Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Still, it makes me wonder which racial/ethnic/religious/national groups are OK to make jokes about, and which aren’t. It’s still OK to make jokes about Belgians. Just don’t use the name of that country gratuitously. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Duality](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.duality/32/4098_2.png) [@Mr.Duality](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Duality)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1504 "2022-02-18T12:05:13Z")
Seen on a T-shirt: Let’s eat kids. Let’s eat, kids. Punctuation saves lives. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1505 "2022-02-18T12:28:43Z")
Eats, shoots & leaves. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1506 "2022-02-18T12:32:09Z")
> [@pjd](#): > > Eats, shoots & leaves What does Dick Cheney and a panda have in common? ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1507 "2022-02-18T13:50:06Z")
### Which is the most tragic Olympics story? A gymnast walks into a bar. * * * ### The US ambassador was meeting the North Korea ambassador. During the meeting, wanting to impress the Korean, the American ambassador started boasting. "Last week, I was in London. I met the Olympic 1000 metres gold medallist. The previous week, I was in Brussels. I met the world’s leading mathematician. The week before, I was in Paris. I shook hands with the most beautiful supermodel in the universe. A few days earlier, I was in Rome. I had lunch with the most accomplished chef who ever lived. From there, I went to Zurich, where I got an autograph from the best composer in the world!" The Korean ambassador nodded humbly. “Yes, our Supreme Leader has been travelling a lot recently.” * * * ### If laziness was an Olympic sport. I’d come in fourth so I wouldn’t have to walk up to the podium. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1508 "2022-02-18T13:54:10Z")
A husband and wife in Michigan in the middle of February are excited to be going on vacation to Florida and escape the snow and bitter cold for a week. But at the last minute a work emergency pops up for the wife, so she has to reschedule her flight for the following day. She tells her husband not to worry, no need to spend the extra money on 2 flight reschedulings, so go on ahead, she says, and she will join him the next day. The husband gets to their hotel in Florida, sits down in a lounge chair on the beach, and enjoys the great weather–it’s sunny and in the upper 80s. After a couple margaritas, he decides to text his wife. But he lost his phone on the way down, had to buy a new one, and can’t quite remember his wife’s number. That plus the two margaritas causes him to input the number wrong, and the text goes to a grieving widow who’s husband just died. “Hey, my wonderful wife, just got down here and I’m settling in. Lost my phone on the way down so you’ll see an unfamiliar number, but it’s me. Whoah, it’s even hotter down here than I’d heard! I’m already starting to burn. Can’t wait to see you when you arrive tomorrow.” ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1509 "2022-02-18T14:02:27Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Still, it makes me wonder which racial/ethnic/religious/national groups are OK to make jokes about, and which aren’t. Saint Patrick’s Day is coming up… I thought you were being serious! I thought the term was on par with “kraut.” Tripler This is what I have with comedy and poker: I never have a win. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1510 "2022-02-18T14:24:10Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > What gets me is that you popped Prof. Pepperwinkle, who I consider one of the most respectable people here. Then you changed the thread title and made us all look like horrible perverts. All we wanted in the first place was what you’re calling for now. I have zero respect for you as a result. That will be a warning to @Knowed_Out , for hostility to the staff and for continuing to argue moderation after previously being reminded that this is not the place for that. > [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > > > Where is the malicious intent? > > There wasn’t any. That’s why it was a mod note and not a warning. This is exactly how we have always moderated this rule. > > > [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > > > If he hadn’t used the quote feature, it would have been kosher, correct? > > Correct. > > You have also already been told to take any further comments to ATMB. Intentionally ignoring moderator instructions is also a warnable offense. Take any further discussion of this to ATMB or you will receive a warning here. One again, you are free to make respectful complaints about moderation in the ATMB forum. That includes complaints about title changes for threads if they rub you the wrong way. But it is never permissible to complain about moderation within a thread. As previously stated, those who are making backhanded jokes about the ‘no rape jokes’ language previously included in the thread title need to air your grievances in ATMB or via a PM to a moderator. They should be kept out of this thread. Those who continue to make indirect rape references will receive Warnings. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1511 "2022-02-18T14:30:12Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > I was being funny. > > Still, it makes me wonder which racial/ethnic/religious/national groups are OK to make jokes about, and which aren’t. Saint Patrick’s Day is coming up… In general, I think it’s best to steer clear of racial/ethnic jokes. It’s not a bright line, and if you are a member of the group there’s more leeway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=74) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=76)