# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 76
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1512 "2022-02-18T14:50:00Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > It’s not a bright line, and if you are a member of the group there’s more leeway. A fat-assed old white dude walks into a bar… ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1513 "2022-02-18T15:09:31Z")
😂 (Plus letters for discourse) ---
**Author:** ![GreysonCarlisle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a87d85/32.png) [@GreysonCarlisle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GreysonCarlisle)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1514 "2022-02-18T17:57:37Z")
> [@Mr.Duality](#): > > Let’s eat kids. > Let’s eat, kids. > Punctuation saves lives. I saw a similar one yesterday. How to cook crack and eat crabs. Step 1: use commas. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1515 "2022-02-18T19:24:03Z")
> [@Mr.Duality](#): > > Let’s eat kids. > Let’s eat, kids. > Punctuation saves lives. And, if speaking, intonation: What’s that in the road ahead. What’s that in the road, a head? ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1516 "2022-02-18T21:04:56Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > A fat-assed old white dude walks into a bar… That could be almost anybody. You should have added “wearing a Hawaiian shirt.” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1517 "2022-02-18T21:16:47Z")
True dat. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1518 "2022-02-18T21:18:54Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > > [@Mr.Duality](#): > > > > Let’s eat kids. > > Let’s eat, kids. > > Punctuation saves lives. > > And, if speaking, intonation: What is this thing called “love”? What is _this thing_ called, love? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1519 "2022-02-18T21:29:48Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > > [@silenus](#): > > > > A fat-assed old white dude walks into a bar… > > That could be almost anybody. You should have added “wearing a Hawaiian shirt.” Hey! I resemble that! ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1520 "2022-02-18T21:33:56Z")
Will you come back? Will, you come back! ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1521 "2022-02-18T21:58:45Z")
> [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](#): > > Hey! I resemble that! Jeez, there’s more than one? I never remember jokes, but I just read this one today. Lucky you guys. In Massachusetts, booster shot is spelled borcester shot. In England, booster shot is spelled borchestershire shot. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1522 "2022-02-18T22:11:07Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > In England, booster shot is spelled borchestershire shot. that’s _spelt_. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1523 "2022-02-18T22:32:13Z")
Chester come to school and said “Durn! I growed another head!” Teacher said “It’s time you knowed The word is ‘grew’ instead of ‘growed’.” Chester, by Shel Silverstein ---
**Author:** ![mordecaiB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mordecaib/32/7725_2.png) [@mordecaiB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mordecaiB)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1524 "2022-02-18T22:49:18Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > that’s _spelt_ . Dammit! I’ve always had problems with foreign languages. ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2022, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1525 "2022-02-18T23:25:55Z")
The members of an Indian tribe asked their chief about collecting wood for the oncoming winter. The chief agreed that it was a good time to start and so they went out and begin collecting firewood. Two weeks later, they came back to the chief and asked if they had gathered enough firewood for the winter. The chief replied that he would check and went inside and called the local office of the weather bureau and asked for a forecast for the winter. The meteorologist replied, “It’s going to be a cold winter.” So the chief told his people to keep gathering wood. Two weeks later, they asked if they had gathered enough firewood. Once again, the chief went inside and called the local office of the weather bureau and asked for a revised forecast for the winter. The meteorologist replied, “This is going to be a really cold winter.” The chief relayed this information to the tribe and they kept collecting firewood. After another two weeks, they had gathered a large amount of firewood and so they went to the chief and asked if they had collected enough firewood now. Once again, the chief called the weather bureau for a revised forecast. The meteorologist replied, “This is going to be the coldest winter we have ever seen.” The chief was surprised at this and asked the meteorologist, “How do you know it’s going to be the coldest winter ever?” The reply, “Because I have been watching the local Indians gather firewood for the last month and a half. In all my years with the weather bureau, I have never seen them gather so much firewood before.” ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2022, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1526 "2022-02-19T00:09:07Z")
> [@Mr.Duality](#): > > Let’s eat kids. > Let’s eat, kids. > Punctuation saves lives. “Help your uncle Jack off that horse” “Help your uncle jack-off that horse” ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2022, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1527 "2022-02-19T00:12:05Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > Will you come back? > Will, you come back! Fire at will. Fire at Will. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2022, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1528 "2022-02-19T02:42:02Z")
A teacher is teaching new vocabulary to her students. “Today’s word is ‘urinate.’ Who can use it in a sentence?” Dirty Johnny says, “Teach, urinate and if you had bigger tits you’d be a ten.” > [@puzzlegal](#): > > One again, you are free to make respectful complaints about moderation in the ATMB forum. That includes complaints about title changes for threads if they rub you the wrong way. B I opened a thread. > [@Jokes, in response to moderation etc](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/jokes-in-response-to-moderation-etc/959768): > > This thread is in response the the “More Jokes” thread where @puzzlegal, moderating, said to take up any issues with moderations in ATMB. This isn’t necessarily intended to be a criticism of puzzlegal, but rather, an attempt to open a discussion of issues in an appropriate forum per the directions to take it up elsewhere. What should the rules or guidelines be? This ought to be interesting. I enjoy jokes. In my opinion, jokes help us alleviate the stress of daily life. But there’s a danger… ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2022, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1529 "2022-02-19T13:26:20Z")
### China’s so good at censorship They gave themselves 5 stars. * * * ### The anti-vax Olympic hockey team lose every game…. Apparently they never take any shots. * * * ### Fourth place in the Olympic luge?… You win some, you luge some. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2022, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1530 "2022-02-19T20:32:31Z")
How to play “Happy Birthday” Like Beethoven, Chopin, Brahms, Bach and Mozart Piano by Nicole Pesce [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/OaZveHbxAYs/hqdefault.jpg "How to play "Happy Birthday" Like Beethoven, Chopin, Brahms, Bach and Mozart Piano by Nicole Pesce") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaZveHbxAYs) ---
**Author:** ![DeadTreasSecretaries](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/deadtreassecretaries/32/4817_2.png) [@DeadTreasSecretaries](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadTreasSecretaries)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2022, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1531 "2022-02-20T01:31:00Z")
> [@mordecaiB](#): > > > [@silenus](#): > > > > A fat-assed old white dude walks into a bar… > > That could be almost anybody. You should have added “wearing a Hawaiian shirt.” That narrows it down by about 50%. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=75) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=77)