# More Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [February 27, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629 "2020-02-27T23:57:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 83
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2022, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1652 "2022-03-03T06:46:08Z")
> [@Johnny\_L.A](#): > > Did you hear the one about the masochist and the sadist? ABC’s Wide World of Sports covered the World Sado-Masochist Championships – with the agony of victory and the thrill of defeat… [only people of a cetain age will get this one] ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2022, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1653 "2022-03-03T18:09:58Z")
### Why did they kick Tarzan out of the golf game? He screamed with every swing. * * * ### What did Cinderella Dolphin lose? Her glass flipper. * * * ### What do you call a dog magician? A labracadrador ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2022, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1654 "2022-03-03T21:40:03Z")
What do you find in the amphibian garage? Newtonian mechanics. ---
**Author:** ![Author\_Balk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Author\_Balk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Author_Balk)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2022, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1655 "2022-03-04T13:27:17Z")
An old joke from elementary school. What day is a command? March 4th. (I always tell that joke on March 4th) ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2022, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1656 "2022-03-05T00:52:27Z")
It was just stunned. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2022, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1657 "2022-03-05T02:02:28Z")
That’s how you end up with one nipple. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2022, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1658 "2022-03-05T15:03:28Z")
### Officer: I’m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia. Man: Wait I can explain everything! * * * ### If Ani is short for Anakin and Obi is short for Obi-Wan, what is Luke short for? A stormtrooper. * * * ### How many dead bodies does it take to change a light bulb? I don’t know either, but it sure isn’t eight because my basement is still dark! ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2022, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1659 "2022-03-05T15:10:11Z")
Let’s name our newborn daughter Ani and hope she never takes Latin. ---
**Author:** ![Wallaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/dc4da7/32.png) [@Wallaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallaby)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2022, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1660 "2022-03-05T20:56:39Z")
Colourblind version. Hilarious in Grade 3. _Roses are red_ _Violets are brown_ _The sky is bright yellow_ _And so are the bluetits_ ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2022, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1661 "2022-03-05T21:21:11Z")
Gelett Burgess wrote a poem everyone has heard called _The Purple Cow_. I never saw a Purple Cow, I never hope to see one, But I can tell you, anyhow, I’d rather see than be one! ° I read a parody of it that went: I never saw a Purple Cow, I never hope to see one, But from the milk we’re getting now, I’m certain there must be one! ° it’s in the public domain. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2022, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1662 "2022-03-05T21:29:30Z")
A few years later he wrote: “Ah, yes, I wrote _The Purple Cow_, I’m sorry now I wrote it, But I can tell you, anyhow, I’ll kill you if you quote it.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1663 "2022-03-06T16:06:35Z")
### What do you call Jesus at the gym? Jehovah’s Fitness * * * ### Jesus said, “I am the way.” The people said, “No way!” And Jesus said, “Yahweh.” * * * ### If Jesus really is the Lamb of God… Then Mary really did have a little lamb! ---
**Author:** ![Limmin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f04885/32.png) [@Limmin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Limmin)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1664 "2022-03-06T17:39:08Z")
And on Star Wars day… May the Fourth be with you! ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1665 "2022-03-06T18:02:52Z")
Too soon. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1666 "2022-03-06T18:13:40Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by Batman. Updated for 2022 … Fifteen sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by The Batman. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1667 "2022-03-06T19:07:21Z")
How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, that’s a hardware issue. How many hardware (electrical) engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, we’ll fix it in software. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2022, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1668 "2022-03-06T19:52:25Z")
Q. Why can’t a bicycle stand by itself? A. It’s two-tired. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1669 "2022-03-07T10:29:55Z")
What was Whitney Houston’s favorite form of coordination? _ **HAND-EEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEE** _ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2022, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1670 "2022-03-07T14:01:08Z")
### What do you call a spider without a web? Offline * * * ### How long does it take a Russian tank to drive from Moscow to Kyiv? Depends how many people are pushing. * * * ### Why did Einstein invite Time and Space to his wedding? Because they were relative. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2022, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629/1671 "2022-03-08T16:38:48Z")
### Labor Day: nine months after Spring Break * * * ### How does a tree feel every Spring? Relieved * * * ### Finally my winter fat is gone - Now I have spring rolls, [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=82) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-jokes/848629.md?page=84)