# More money than God!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 16, 2002, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939 "2002-04-16T13:57:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/1 "2002-04-16T13:57:08Z")
Last night I sold the farm! They bought it for cash, 30 days, no contingencies except for a perk test. In nine years I made 250% on my investment. I will have left a lot of sweat and blood behind though. In the first seven years, I remodeled every room in the house with my own hands, put a new roof on, had a standing seam added to the barm, aluminum sided the barn, repainted the roof, and spent weekends improving the land and landscaping. In my care it went from old beaten up farmhouse to a showpiece. I’d been shot at by a tresspasser, spent a cold day in March up to my thighs in pond muck replacing a drain pipe, and sat shivering by a fire for hours afterwards, replaced plumbing, almost killed myself with chain saws, been chased by and shot at wild dogs and foxes, had a bear that seemed to know how to work a doorknob spend half an hour trying to get into the house, dodged lightning, chased trespassers, drove a tractor into a pond, wrestled goats, broke horses, raped sheep, hated Amish. Countless other things, grand and petty. Ayyy, it’s been a lively and lusty decade, and now I am indeed a man. So, it’s not like I just stepped in shit. My blood is on every dollar, well most of them. We owned the place free and clear. No mortgage. The house we’re buying is a smaller, more modern place on five acres, on the expanding edge of the “hot” zone for real estate in our area. We’re stealing the place because it’s a bit of white elephant. It has a terrible floor plan and the entire upstairs is one bedroom big enough to play basketball in and the kitchen suck. Divide that bedroom into three, add another bedroom, fix the kitchen and turn it into the horse property we plan to, and I think we could turn around and sell it for a big profit. But, I think I’m gonna stay there. The best part is that when all is said and done with the move, and the remodelling, I’ll have Mongo $ in the bank. Hmmmmmm. New his and hers Porsche Carrera Fours, or baby’s College fund? Now all I have to do is move. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/2 "2002-04-16T14:31:27Z")
So, when’s the housewarming party?!? Congrats on the sale!! I’m sure that’s a load off your mind. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/3 "2002-04-16T14:34:36Z")
For some reason this saddens me a bit. No more stories from **Scylla** about sheep, Amish fishermen, or lying in the driveway under a snowplow? Rats. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/4 "2002-04-16T14:35:03Z")
Scylla congrats! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/5 "2002-04-16T14:55:11Z")
Carrera Fours, dude. You know you want to! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/6 "2002-04-16T14:56:03Z")
Congrats, **Scylla**!! You’re getting one hell of a payday, but you’ve earned it, all the way. How does it feel, leaving a home that you’ve poured so much of your blood and sweat into? I imagine that must be tough, even with the payoff. I can see why you might just want to stay put, after you fix up the new place. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/7 "2002-04-16T15:08:41Z")
Well, I am sad. I would like to stay. I love the place, and after nine years I finally have it the way I like it, and I got the hang of everything. The schools suck out here, it’s far from all our friends and social life, and it’s hard on my wife doing the farm thing with a toddler. We’ve had increasing troubles with some Amish neighbors (but I figure once I shoot the first one the rest will keep their distance, and it’s only a matter of time.) So I’m moving for the wife and child. But, the new place will have 5 acres of privacy, and there’s both an emu farm and a llhama farm right nearby, and the proper borders a big farm, so I don’t think I’m giving up much outside of sheer acreage. The one thing I’ll really miss are the two bass ponds, though. Instead, I’ll have a two-tier deck and a pool. Swimming in a pool will just seem so tame compared to thrashing about in a muddy pond with snapping turtles, and snakes. The risk adds a certain spice, that will be lacking. ---
**Author:** ![velvetjones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5f9b8f/32.png) [@velvetjones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velvetjones)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/8 "2002-04-16T15:10:12Z")
Congratulations **Scylla** couldn’t wish it on a nicer person. Here’s hoping that the new digs yield many amusing stories for your adoring fans and that you don’t kill yourself fixing up the place 🙂 Good luck! ---
**Author:** ![Hodge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Hodge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hodge)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/9 "2002-04-16T15:31:53Z")
When **Scylla** sells the farm, you know the groundhogs have already won. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/10 "2002-04-16T15:37:17Z")
**Hodge** kinda beat me to it: we never got to have the GroundhogSlayerDopeFest. ☹ Sounds like quite a good deal for you, though, congratulations and well done. ---
**Author:** ![Lost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/22d042/32.png) [@Lost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lost)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/11 "2002-04-16T15:38:08Z")
Congratulations Scylla! I enjoyed the payoff on sweat equity, good timing and planning last year, when I sold my house. I took away a nice chunk of change, bought the cabin of my dreams, gave my daughter a good start in her adult life ($$$) and have never known such happiness. I’m really happy to hear about your sale! Now, about moving… I had an advantage over you - I gave my kid half the household goods, and sent a LOT of stuff to the Salvation Army. Good riddance to all of it. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2002, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-money-than-god/103939/12 "2002-04-16T17:53:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > \*\*For some reason this saddens me a bit. > > No more stories from **Scylla** about sheep, Amish fishermen, or lying in the driveway under a snowplow? > > Rats. \*\* Cheer up: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Scylla \* > **Divide that bedroom into three, add another bedroom, fix the kitchen and turn it into the horse property we plan to…** I predict that _The Pneumatic Nailgun Incident_ will practically write itself.