# More Mundane Pointless stuff on Cattle **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2010, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550 "2010-05-24T08:50:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/41 "2010-05-27T15:58:45Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > and no dont ask me again what I think,its apparent Im being used as sport here and Im not interested in being used this way. Exactly what kind of a reaction did you expect to your bizarre and vague empty theories about mutilated cattle? ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/42 "2010-05-27T16:31:33Z")
_pulls out the popcorn popper again, throws a few kernels to the scavenging buzzards_ ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/43 "2010-05-27T16:35:02Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > It’s a mute point. Don’t you mean a “moo” point? > [@carol\_nistri](#): > > Havent any of you brightest of the bright noticed something odd? The word scavenger and predator are thrown out without ever naming either one.Why if you believe its a bear then say bear? Why if you believe its a coyote just say coyote? They dont do that do they,that should be a big sound your trumptet wake up call.They dont name the predator or scavenger on purpose,those predators and scavengers leave telltale signs that are unmistakeable.You really really are missing out on this adventure you know. They’re not naming it because it’s … El Chupacabra! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/44 "2010-05-27T16:35:42Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > Well isnt this something,so its buzzards now is it? [Did you not read any of **Colibri** ’s posts in your last thread?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=12394223#post12394223) > [@](#): > > If theres a way to kick all of you into gear I dont know what it is. I agree, you don’t. But if I can give you a hint: you’re not going to kick people on this board into gear by ignoring the obvious and treating this stuff like a mystery when there is an easy explanation. This isn’t the _Sightings_ crowd. > [@](#): > > The ranchers have been called morons here and not one of you came to their defense. I don’t think anybody here called them morons just for not knowing what happened to the cattle. Although if they think aliens abducted and mutilated their cattle, that is kind of stupid. > [@](#): > > These men may not know Shakeabeer from Mickey Mouse but they know cattle. Their livelyhoods depend on their knowing them.If a rancher goes thru the bother of calling in the law and/or the ranch vet you can bet your last dollar that its because he cant tell why in the world this animal died or what caused the strange mutilations We went through this at agonizing length in your last thread. It’s a non-argument, and people who said they had known ranchers disagreed with you. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/45 "2010-05-27T16:59:00Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > [http://www.kwgn.com/news/kdvr-alien-cows-txt,0,6523586.story](http://www.kwgn.com/news/kdvr-alien-cows-txt,0,6523586.story) Holy shit! Art Linkletter _just_ died. Fuck, I thought he had died decades ago. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/46 "2010-05-27T17:03:42Z")
More than 100 medicines, including insulin and estrogen, come from cattle. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/47 "2010-05-27T17:04:48Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Holy shit! Art Linkletter _just_ died. Fuck, I thought he had died decades ago. Are you blaming Art for the mutilations? Well, I guess if they stop now we will know for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/48 "2010-05-27T17:08:05Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Holy shit! Art Linkletter _just_ died. Fuck, I thought he had died decades ago. The aliens caught him in a crop circle years ago, and were able to keep him in suspended animation, sustaining his life force with Chi extracted from cattle butt holes. He only escaped recently, and natural aging caught up with him. These are facts. Please note my title, and treat the above as gospel. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/49 "2010-05-27T17:20:04Z")
Well, the reason carol thinks it’s for sure not predators this time is that she says the mutilation done to the carcass was with surgical precision. I for one, question the credibility of the sheriffs deputy (who’s also self proclaimed UFO hunter suchandsuch) or if it really was done with a scalpel or similar knife/instument, it was teenagers with too much time on their hands. (that is my theory, if the deputy’s indeed correct about the “surgical precision”, I’ll just bet you 100dollars teenagers are responsible for this. They’re nothing but trouble in my experience.) ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/50 "2010-05-27T17:32:10Z")
> [@](#): > > These men may not know Shakeabeer from Mickey Mouse but they know cattle. Well, this particular rancher, Mike Duran in your linked story, seems to be one of the major producers of cattle mutilation stories. Twice last year and now again this year. Again with the laser cuts. If someone were to educate this one nut-case rancher about predation and scavengers all the cattle mute cases would go away. > **[UFOs Found In TV Broadcasts](https://realtvufos.blogspot.com/)** > > This UFO blogspot presents UFO footage (videos) and descriptions of UFO footage > found in TV broadcasts from around the world. Any UFO evidence recorded or > obtained by a media company or government source will also be included here. > [@](#): > > Mike Duran’s ranch is situated west of Weston, Colorado. He found one mutilated cow on 8 March 2009 and two more in December 2009. Duran says in the article that some of the cuts on the cow that was found on 8 March looked like laser cuts. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/51 "2010-05-27T17:37:55Z")
In fact, rancher Mike Duran has been spouting these stories for _15 years_. [http://www.abqjournal.com/abqnews/index.php?option=com\_content&task=view&id=11337](http://www.abqjournal.com/abqnews/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=11337) > [@](#): > > But rancher Mike Duran, who has found several mutilated cattle on his ranch near Weston, Colo., from 1995 until last March, has no trouble identifying the source of the mystery, according to The Post. > > “I do believe it was UFOs. The universe is so big, a lot of people think we are the only ones here,” Duran told The Post. “I bet there is something out there.” ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/52 "2010-05-27T17:47:12Z")
I was going to say Mike Duran is a crank, but the more likely explanation is that the aliens are fucking with him. They’re messing with his cattle over and over again in these implausible ways. He knows what’s happening, but the aliens have planned it so nobody will believe him. They’re just waiting to see if he’ll go nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/53 "2010-05-27T18:25:24Z")
> [@carol\_nistri](#): > > Well isnt this something,so its buzzards now is it? Buzzards my foot.If theres a way to kick all of you into gear I dont know what it is. The ranchers have been called morons here and not one of you came to their defense. These men may not know Shakeabeer from Mickey Mouse but they know cattle. Their livelyhoods depend on their knowing them.If a rancher goes thru the bother of calling in the law and/or the ranch vet you can bet your last dollar that its because he cant tell why in the world this animal died or what caused the strange mutilations,and no dont ask me again what I think,its apparent Im being used as sport here and Im not interested in being used this way. It’s worth noting that just because someone holds a job, it doesn’t necessarily follow that they are _good_ at their job. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/54 "2010-05-27T19:54:33Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > The aliens caught him in a crop circle years ago, and were able to keep him in suspended animation, sustaining his life force with Chi extracted from cattle butt holes. He only escaped recently, and natural aging caught up with him. > > These are facts. Please note my title, and treat the above as gospel. > > Thank you. Cool, thanks for clearing that up and I bow to your superior knowledge on the subject. You wouldn’t know where I could get my hands on some of that CAC\* would you? Or are those stingy bastards keeping it for themselves just to fuck with has-been celebs? [sup]\*Cow Anus Chi[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/55 "2010-05-27T22:28:41Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Cool, thanks for clearing that up and I bow to your superior knowledge on the subject. You wouldn’t know where I could get my hands on some of that CAC\* would you? Or are those stingy bastards keeping it for themselves just to fuck with has-been celebs? > [sup]\*Cow Anus Chi[/sup] Keeping Keith Richards alive is currently taking almost all of the available CAC. Cat Whisperer, who really should be called Cow Whisperer, may be able to hook you up with some salivary gland. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/56 "2010-05-28T01:06:22Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > Keeping Keith Richards alive is currently taking almost all of the available CAC. Cat Whisperer, who really should be called Cow Whisperer, may be able to hook you up with some salivary gland. OOOooooh - I think I need a name change! ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/57 "2010-05-28T01:15:41Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > OOOooooh - I think I need a name change! Yeah- you could change it to Featherlou or something. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2010, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/58 "2010-05-28T01:20:40Z")
Or Feathermoo… ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/59 "2010-05-28T01:46:05Z")
What is a shakeabeer? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550/60 "2010-05-28T02:32:55Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > What is a shakeabeer? It’s a famous literary reference. In Steinbeck’s _ **Cannery Row** _, Doc makes a beer milkshake. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-mundane-pointless-stuff-on-cattle/540550.md?page=4)