# More Neighbor Problems **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 10, 2006, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939 "2006-07-10T22:15:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/21 "2006-07-11T12:19:39Z")
> [@blackhobyah](#): > > The bit I don’t get is that it was grass. So it got long, what does it matter? Did you think it was going to do, come over to your house and steal your television? Agreed. Sorry, **Carm** , from my perspective you’re the one coming off as the jerk. It’s just some fucking grass. I will never live somewhere with an HOA. It’s just a license to let your busybody neighbors try to impose their views on your property. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/22 "2006-07-11T13:25:38Z")
Obviously, your neighbors are just doing their part to return the everglades to it’s native state. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/23 "2006-07-11T14:14:02Z")
1. It’s not just grass - if you live within the jurisdiction of a homeowner’s association, you have agreed to the terms thereof, and one of them is ALWAYS keeping your yard in good shape, which means grass is mowed and weeds are kept under control. Even if you don’t live in a HOA, it’s still one of the terms of living in a city. If you don’t mow, chances are the City will and bill you for it. Welcome to urban living. 2. If you have a yard with grass, get a damned lawnmower. Your neighbours aren’t responsible for looking after your yard for you (this is aimed at the people who don’t mow, of course). 3. “Calling them like you see them” doesn’t include calling a woman a bitch unless you _want_ an ugly fight. The rule from the Dope works very well in real life as well as here - attack the argument, not the person, if you want to win the argument and not look like a bitch yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/24 "2006-07-11T14:22:45Z")
Choice 1: Taking photos of neighbor’s yard and causing a shitstorm. Choice 2: Saying, “I see your friends with the lawnmower are out of town. Want to let me trim that grass for you?” It’s a patch of lawn the size of my palm. It would have taken you five minutes and would have been a friendly gesture. And frankly, it doesn’t look that bad. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/25 "2006-07-11T14:32:01Z")
Like most people here, I think you made a mistake. Their grass was a problem, yes, but going over and talking with them should have been the first move. You didn’t have to start a war first thing. You’re sounding like a jerk, and I’m pretty glad I don’t live next to you. ---
**Author:** ![shizaru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@shizaru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shizaru)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/26 "2006-07-11T14:35:22Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > Choice 1: Taking photos of neighbor’s yard and causing a shitstorm. > > Choice 2: Saying, “I see your friends with the lawnmower are out of town. Want to let me trim that grass for you?” It’s a patch of lawn the size of my palm. It would have taken you five minutes and would have been a friendly gesture. > > And frankly, it doesn’t look that bad. I had a situation like this a few years back. The guy across the street from where I lived then never mowed his lawn. I actually worked with the guy. (but i didn’t like him much…he was a dickhead) We were both recruiters and lived on Fort Dix, NJ. Amazingly NO ONE from the housing office said anything about his grass. I’m assuming they didn’t notice it because if you live in military housing you **have to keep the lawn in good order.**. I offered to loan him my lawn mower but he didn’t _want_ to cut the grass. So I told him I’d do it but he’d have to pay me the 25 bucks he could have paid one of the neighborhood kids to do it. He declined. So I told him with a straight face that I would myself go to the Provost Marshall, the Post Sergeant Major and our own company commander in 24 hours if hedidn’t get off of his lazy ass and cut the grass. The grass was cut the next day. Since this situation doesn’t involve the Army you couldn’t have done that…but notice the part where I offered the use of my mower and services before I had to get angry about it? This guy couldn’t get justifiably pissed because I’d already offered him every reasonable way to take care of his lawn before resorting to “telling on him”. ---
**Author:** ![Cherry2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cherry2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry2000)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/27 "2006-07-11T15:21:58Z")
I think someone should point out that the OP’s location is Central FL. I was raised in FL, and am more than a little familiar with the local flora and fauna. Grass that high will quickly become home to snakes, even in an urban area. Rattlesnakes are quite common on Florida, and I can see why **Carm6773** would really, really want these people to mow their lawn. Originally posted by **featherlou** : _If you have a yard with grass, get a damned lawnmower. Your neighbours aren’t responsible for looking after your yard for you (this is aimed at the people who don’t mow, of course)._ I think this says it all. If the neighbors with their own personal eco-system haven’t gotten a lawn mower by now (Did the OP say 5 years?), odds are they don’t intend to and don’t care about maintaining their property. While IMHO calling the neighbor a bitch might have been out of line, I don’t think trying to get the HOA to do something about the mess next door was. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/28 "2006-07-11T15:22:42Z")
> [@A.R. Cane](#): > > While I can empathize w/ your situation, I think you made two critical errors. Taking the photos, in clear view of the neighbors, and using profanity in your verbal confrontation. > \ > If you want a mini war here, I’m pretty sure you’l get it, but remember, “discretion is the better part of valor”. A.R. nailed it in post #5, with a couple of solid follow-ups by others. You go right ahead “calling them like you see them.” I, OTOH, find it makes for more comfortable day-to-day existence to occasionally bite my tongue when dealing with neighbors, instead of maintaining a general worry over whether my home or possessions will be damaged, my garbage cans upset, etc. ad infinitum when I am asleep or away from my home. And **featherlou** and **shiz** are right on. For those of you who think it is “just grass,” you are free to live somewhere where there are no restrictions on how you must maintain your property. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/29 "2006-07-11T16:35:09Z")
If they’re not going to mow in the future, maybe you could convince them to set backfires on their vegetation periodically so as to reduce the chance of a Yellowstone type conflagration. Biggest rattlesnake I’ve ever seen was in Florida. Get hit by one of them and you’ve got to worry not just about the venom but also an ACL injury. I really, really, really do understand your concern. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/30 "2006-07-11T16:44:42Z")
The grass in those pictures is hideously long. It looks horrible. However, you were pretty harsh to that girl. I agree with most people that you should have talked to them first. Or at least left a note for them. It’s going to be pretty hard to repair the damage you caused by your hostile treatment of that girl. ---
**Author:** ![Sofaspud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8491ac/32.png) [@Sofaspud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofaspud)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/31 "2006-07-11T17:11:24Z")
> [@Carm6773](#): > > My neighbors didn’t mow their lawn for 3-4 weeks. … > > So, should I prepare for retaliation tonight? I dunno about others, but were you MY neighbor, you and me’d have some issues, mate. Whatever happened to _minding one’s own business_? What does it matter if their yard is Teh Jungle and yours is 1950’s Suburbia Modern? It’s their property, yes? You mention a homeowners association. If you’re part of one (I assume this means it’s some sort of development you live in), then you should’ve simply CALLED the assoc. and asked a representative to swing by and look at your neighbors yard, and let THEM handle it. Getting yourself involved the way you did was petty, childish, and unneighborly. Are you selling at this very moment? Is that why you’re concerned about your ‘property values’? Or is it just some ingrained “how DARE they not maintain their yard to MY standards! The NERVE!” attitude? Who the hell do you think you are, anyway? The Yard Police? I’m not surprised they’re pissed at you. Lock up your stuff and get a guard dog; I’m betting that the stops are coming out. Hell, with the attitude you’ve shown here, I wouldn’t be suprised if others in the neighborhood side with them, and not you. You’ve already mentioned they have friends there… ## –sofaspud ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/32 "2006-07-11T17:55:01Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > I will never live somewhere with an HOA. It’s just a license to let your busybody neighbors try to impose their views on your property. Damn right. They are, in theory, a pretty decent idea, ensuring that one or two people don’t make life unpleasant for everyone else, and that certain community standards are maintained. In practice, however, they often become something akin to little fiefdoms, where petty tyrants take pleasure in enforcing ridiculously restrictive norms and do their best to make life miserable for anyone who doesn’t want to fit the cookie-cutter lifestyle they’ve laid out. And the funny thing is, the OP ensured that this situation has the worst of both worlds: an intrusive home owners’ association AND an asshole neighbor. I thought one of the ideas of having an HOA was that its job is to deal with issues like this, and eliminate the need for getting into slanging matches with the neighbors. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/33 "2006-07-11T18:21:13Z")
> [@Unregistered Bull](#): > > Salsa beat would more likely indicate Puerto Ricans or Cubans. But please don’t let that interfere with your and the OP’s prejudices. Yeah, um, _whoosh_? Wow. Amigo, I fluently speak Spanish and about 3/4 of my CDs are various kinds of Spanish music. Needless to say, I know. Sorry my deeply intellectual comment was over your head. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/34 "2006-07-11T18:25:06Z")
It is never a good idea to answer rudeness with rudeness – not even if you call it “calling it as I see it” instead of rudeness. Calling a woman a bitch is just about as rude as it’s possible to be. Especially since, according to your own story, she sounds like she was much less rude than you were – at least during the confrontation. Now, I don’t blame you for being irritated about the grass – grass that long would have driven my husband mad. Myself, I’d rather risk the neighbor’s poor lawn care than live in a neighborhood with a HOA – they really get my back up, frankly – but since you do live in a HOA neighborhood, these people should have abided by the rules they agreed to. They certainly ought to buy a lawnmower. One large enough to service that small of a yard woudn’t cost too much. On the other hand, they might have an aggreement of some kind with the neighbor who usually cuts their grass. Even so, they should have made other plans once they knew their lawnmowers were going to be unavailable for so long. However, handling this in a neighborly way would have been a much better idea than the way you chose to do it. I can tell you what my husband would have done – at the end of the second week, he would have gone over to their house and said, “Hi! Sorry we haven’t met before now. But I noticed that you haven’t been able to mow your lawn recently. I’m doing mine today. Would you like me to take care of yours at the same time?” Sure it would mean him mowing two lawns. But that’s a small payoff for a friendly neighborhood, IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/35 "2006-07-11T18:34:37Z")
> [@Carm6773](#): > > I call them like I see them. Oh, well that makes it okay then. :rolleyes: God save me from ever living anywhere with a HOA. ---
**Author:** ![Spezza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Spezza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spezza)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/36 "2006-07-11T19:05:15Z")
> [@Carm6773](#): > > So, should I prepare for retaliation tonight? Just thought I’d mention, the retalition is probably going to be a lot more insidious than you’d like. I can see the neighbor playing their music that much louder, cutting their grass that much less often and that much earlier on weekend mornings, parking their cars that much closer to your driveway, etc. This type of retaliation is that much more fun than throwing a rock through your window. If they’re petty, you’ll get a rock throuugh your window. If they’re smart, they’ll annoy you out of the neighborbood. As of now, they have no need/desire/pretense of being neighborly. Be ready to deal with neighbors who just don’t like you instead of neighbors who just didn’t _care_ about you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/37 "2006-07-11T20:43:15Z")
> [@Sofaspud](#): > > I dunno about others, but were you MY neighbor, you and me’d have some issues, mate. > > ## Whatever happened to _minding one’s own business_? What does it matter if their yard is Teh Jungle and yours is 1950’s Suburbia Modern? It’s their property, yes? \–sofaspud When you live in an urban area, there are certain things that you must do - mowing your lawn (and shovelling your sidewalks) are included in this, whether your’e in a HOA or not. If you don’t do it, the city will, and they will bill you, and they will put a lien on your property if you don’t pay that bill so that they get paid when you sell it. Like others have said, if you don’t want to play by the rules, live somewhere with different rules. (This sure is a mow-happy bunch here - I hate mowing my _own_ lawn; the chance of me mowing my neighbour’s yard are slim to none.) ---
**Author:** ![Sofaspud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8491ac/32.png) [@Sofaspud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofaspud)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/38 "2006-07-12T13:30:12Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > When you live in an urban area, there are certain things that you must do - mowing your lawn (and shovelling your sidewalks) are included in this, whether your’e in a HOA or not. If you don’t do it, the city will, and they will bill you… Where do y’all live? :dubious: I’d almost prefer it if the city WOULD mow my lawn and shovel my walks for me. But that’s never happened around here, to me or any of my neighbors. Next door I’ve got the Yard Nazi, who is out there with hand-held clippers every weekend chasing grass incursions off his property; across the street is the Welfare Mom, who hasn’t mowed her lawn since the Reagan administration (slight exaggeration - maybe); just down the block a ways is the Crazy Lady, who never comes out of her house except to go shopping at 2am at the grocery store just up the block, and her lawn is this violent explosion of color from a flowerbed gone wild, combined with two-foot-tall grass and the occasional Rusted Lawn Tool. I _like_ my neighborhood. The Yard Nazi doesn’t comment on my dandelion collection, and I in turn simply put the pillow over my head and go back to sleep when he’s mowing his lawn at 8am on a Saturday. The Welfare Mom and I borrow each other rakes so that we can find our respective kids’ toys in the unchecked growth that is our yards. And the Crazy Lady ignores everyone, which is how we like it. But not once, in the six years I’ve been living in one spot and have been more or less successfully avoiding mowing my lawn, has the city come and mowed it. I wish they would, honestly; I don’t want to do it, but I wouldn’t mind paying someone to do it. Nor have they shoveled the walks. I take care of that myself to keep the neighborhood kids from having to stand in a foot of snow waiting for the crosswalk. The city provides big barrels of sand, true enough, but that’s all. I like my yard. I like that my dog can disappear in the grass and only become visible when I call him and his goofy head pops out of the jungle. If living with an HOA means some busybody is always in my face about something, then I’m glad I don’t live with one. ## –sofaspud ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/39 "2006-07-12T14:49:44Z")
I live in Calgary, baby. The city doesn’t mow your lawn or shovel your walks on a regular basis here - you have to ignore them a long time before they’ll take a hand in it (or have your neighbours calling in about it). And they will charge you for their services, and it I’m pretty sure it will be more than your local teenager would charge. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939/40 "2006-07-12T15:37:47Z")
Heh, the Ads at the bottom of the page are, for once, very helpful in this case: Free Riding Lawn Mower We’ll Ship You A Lawn Tractor Free. Simply Complete The Sponsor Offer! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-neighbor-problems/363939.md?page=3)