# More of God's Greatest Mistakes **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 2, 2000, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742 "2000-09-02T03:56:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2000, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/21 "2000-09-03T17:09:19Z")
I’m not an expert in Christianity, but as far as my knowledge goes The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit constitute the same entity: The Holy Trinity. Which would seem to validate the fact that Christianity is monotheistic. On to other matters: George Burns is God. George burns is dead. God is dead. Seriously now, if God died–let’s say he suffered a stroke while trying to lift the rock, would He go to heaven or hell? Remember He killed millions in the Great Flood. Thou shall not kill!!! Would an amendment to the commandments be forthcoming in order to guarantee a membership renewal for heaven’s Founding Father? ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/22 "2000-09-04T03:01:10Z")
**quasar** > [@](#): > > I’m not an expert in Christianity, but as far as my knowledge goes The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit constitute the same entity: The Holy Trinity. So I’ve heard. But this has always struck me as similar to claiming the New York Yankees is a single entity, and that therefore there are no individuals on the team. ---
**Author:** ![Raptormeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dbc845/32.png) [@Raptormeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raptormeister)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/23 "2000-09-04T05:04:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cisco \* > **I always thought of this question as just our inability to comprehend omnipotence, of course i didnt make it up, but it is fun asking the question to people who have never heard it before.** A miracle! Cisco knows people who haven’t heard this before! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/24 "2000-09-04T05:10:04Z")
I think there are people in this thread that hadn’t heard it before. Would you like to insult them next? ---
**Author:** ![Raptormeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dbc845/32.png) [@Raptormeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raptormeister)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/25 "2000-09-04T05:12:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cisco \* > \*\*I think there are people in this thread that hadn’t heard it before. Would you like to insult them next? \*\* OK. Everyone on this thread who hasn’t heard the “God and the big rock” thing before please make a queue. It’d help if I knew all of your particular personal problems, but I suppose I can just ad lib. ---
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/26 "2000-09-04T05:39:42Z")
Triskadecamus said: ## Quote Or, perhaps every time He feels like making “a rock so large He cannot lift it” a stellar mass somewhere in the universe contracts within it’s own Schwartzchild radius, and collapses. ## It could happen. Which leads me to: Assuming that the rock is so heavy as to make it reasonable to discuss whether the most powerful Being in the universe could lift it, then it should be dense enough to force it into unrestricted gravitational collapse and, hence, black hole status. Which poses the obvious questions: Could God be sucked into it? If so, could He escape from it? Once again, a Godless scenario surfaces. ---
**Author:** ![RM\_Mentock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@RM\_Mentock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RM_Mentock)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/27 "2000-09-04T06:11:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cisco \* > \*\*I think there are people in this thread that hadn’t heard it before. Would you like to insult them next? \*\* I know what you’re doing. You’re just trying to smoke 'em out so you can take advantage of their mental weakness to make them your [slave](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=36551#post707010). ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2000, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/28 "2000-09-04T06:50:36Z")
Haha, you’re exactly right. The streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers 😃 ---
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/29 "2000-09-05T01:22:21Z")
How to move the rock? Inspired by Occam’s razor God realizes that the simplest way to move the rock is not to move it but instead let it move by itself. So He proceeds to give the rock the gift of life and commands it to move. That been done, God has proven His omnipotence and all non-atheists can go back to worshipping Him. ---
**Author:** ![Scylla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Scylla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scylla)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/30 "2000-09-05T01:30:54Z")
Yoda “Size matters not. Look at me. Underestimate me? and well you should not, for my ally is the force and a powerful ally it is. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter…” ::sticks out muppet hand, lifts ship:: Luke “I don’t beleive it” Yoda “That is why you fail” THe real question is can God create a rock Yoda can’t lift? ---
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/31 "2000-09-05T03:05:04Z")
God: I must prove my omnipotence to those who adore me. Yoda: How? God: By showing them that the impossible doesn’t apply to me. Yooa: Omnipotence matters not. Know that You should. God: It matters to those earthlings. Yoda: If your ally is the force, omnipotent you are. God: But my midiclorian count is running low. Am I losing my omnipotence? Yoda: Difficult to see omnipotence is. God: I must work on my omnipotence to restore My Magnificence. Yoda: Practice a master makes. God: Of course, I haven’t exercised my omnipotence since the flood. I guess I should flood the earth once more. Yoda: No one left to worship you will there be. God: Right, no way I’m making the same mistake again. What to do, then? Yoda: A rock you can’t lift you must make. God: Of course. Thanks Yoda, you are a real pal. Yoda: Why you should make it I haven’t explained to you yet. God: Good point. Why? Yoda: By lifting it your omnipotence you will prove. God: Ahja! You are wrong. How I can lift a rock that even I can’t lift. Yoda: Must everything I have to explain? Through my alliance with the force lift it I will. The credit you will take. God: Dah! It’s all clear now. Yoda: Totally clear it isn’t yet. God: No? Yoda: A condition there is. God: Damn, why did I invent those? So, what is your condition? Yoda: For my services, God I shall become. God: But I am God. Yoda: God you will be no more. God: Come on, you are joking, right? Yoda: Joke jedi masters don’t. God: I will cease to be God. No way! What about all the adulation, the wars fought in my name? I will lose everything that I care about. Yoda: But considered omnipotent you will be. God: Yes, and it is omnipotence they worship after all. All right, where do I sign? Yoda: DOES THE DOTTED LINE RING A BELL? God: Hey, you are talking differently. Yoda: Sometimes difficult to maintain patience is. God: O.k. Yoda, here you go. Everything is signed. Yoda: A good deal this was. God: Now I will create the rock for you to lift. Yoda: Create it you should. God: Done. Now lift it. Yoda: Lift it I can’t. God: But you said you could. Yoda: So gullible you shouldn’t be. God: You little liar. You will go to hell for this. Yoda: To hell I won’t go. God I am now, in heaven I shall reside. God: No you shall not, the contract is now invalid. You failed to accomplish that which you compromised to. Yoda: The fine print you should always read. Cable T.V. have you not? God: What fine print? Oh damn, you cunning devil… And so goes the story of how vanity cost God His omnipotence. Unfortunately, God Yoda never revealed the fine print of the aforementioned contract. As to humanity, peace and happiness became since then inextricably intertwined with its existence. ---
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/32 "2000-09-05T21:36:56Z")
Since we are back to the Irresistible Force encounters Immovable Object debate, let’s propose new scenarios. Originally, our friend Cisco conceptualized God as the Irresistible Force and the rock as the Immovable Object. How about if we change protagonists: Irresistible Force = Callista Flockhart (yes, she of the anorexic build and Ally McBeal fame). Immovable Object = Roseanne Barr. So, could Ally move Roseanne? ---
**Author:** ![dal\_timgar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e57/32.png) [@dal\_timgar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dal_timgar)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2000, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/33 "2000-09-05T21:44:45Z")
God fell into a black hole and he can’t get up. Dal Timgar ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2000, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/34 "2000-09-06T03:34:08Z")
I wish Cisco would fall into a black hole and not get up. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2000, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/35 "2000-09-07T13:41:27Z")
I had a friend when I was a kid whose mom was a born-again. Her favorite riddle: Is there anything that God can’t do? Answer: Sin! (Now that I’m older, I wish I could have her around to ask me this stupid riddle again, so I could answer: ‘Tell that to the Canaanites!’) ---
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/36 "2000-09-11T22:06:20Z")
Altius, Citius, Fortius!!! O.K.If GOD is so strong, why hasn’t He won and Olympic gold medal in weightlifting? That settles it. God can’t lift the rock. ---
**Author:** ![quasar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@quasar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quasar)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/37 "2000-09-11T22:36:50Z")
Of course what I meant was: O.K.If God is so strong, why hasn’t He won AN Olympic gold medal in weightlifting? ---
**Author:** ![aviddiva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a88e57/32.png) [@aviddiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aviddiva)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2000, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/38 "2000-09-11T23:57:16Z")
[hijack] **Raptormeister** : I have never heard this question before. And I’m particularly sensitive about remarks on my nose. **Scylla** : Gasp! You heretic! Misquote! Not “… Look at me. Underestimate me?..” but “… Judge me by my size, do you?..” If God could give Himself eternal psychic orgasms, why would He bother with creating and lifting rocks? [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/39 "2000-09-12T19:38:39Z")
A while back my little nephew asked me… Could He-Man beat up Jesus? I told him that yes He-Man could beat up Jesus but he wouldn’t. I don’t know about the rock thing but apparently God can make a person who dosen’t believe in him. ---
**Author:** ![Raptormeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dbc845/32.png) [@Raptormeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raptormeister)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2000, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742/40 "2000-09-12T21:52:20Z")
well, in that case… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aviddiva \* > \*\*[hijack] > **Raptormeister** : > I have never heard this question before. And I’m particularly sensitive about remarks on my nose. > \*\* **aviddiva** , you are an obnoxious cretin of very small brain, and everyone hates you. Don’t blame me, I’m just doing what I was told to. Blame Cisco. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-of-gods-greatest-mistakes/31742.md?page=3)