# More on why do men fall asleep after sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [July 29, 2005, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722 "2005-07-29T11:59:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![jspoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85e7bf/32.png) [@jspoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jspoi)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/1 "2005-07-29T11:59:38Z")
Hi there, First time writer, long time… Anyway, I’ve finally found a twopence worth to chime in here! On the above subject (found at [http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5\_183.html](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_183.html)) I have this addition: The reason men fall asleep after orgasm is due (imho) to an adolescence spent “Self loving”. Think about it. All those nights alone in bed thinking of Pamela Anderson, or whoever your woman of the month was, and indulging in the 5-knuckly shuffle - what did you then do? No, not the sock… you rolled over and went to sleep. So - my input is that the reason men fall asleep after sex is that it’s programmed as a neurological response after years and years of “last thing before I go to sleep” masturbation - your brain automatically associates that orgasm is followed by sleep - so does. Of course, any way to prove this wrong is unlikely, as all adolescents are all a bunch of wankers… (Sorry for that, seemed to good an op to miss.) John [jspoi@aol.com](mailto:jspoi@aol.com) [www.recess.co.uk](http://www.recess.co.uk) Success is merely a failure to imagine more… ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2005, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/2 "2005-07-29T12:16:05Z")
I didn’t even know this was an issue. I’ve been with many–err, a few–woman who’s fallen asleep after sex. There might be an issue with the previous circumstances which lead to sex that make men more likely to fall asleep. I really don’t know anyting about this, but would like to know if young men masterbate more than young women. That would clarify this issue, I think. Actually, I’ve got more important things to think about now, but you’ve raised an interesting question. ---
**Author:** ![masheene\_comcast.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ec9cab/32.png) [@masheene\_comcast.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/masheene_comcast.net)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/3 "2005-07-30T18:45:31Z")
And why do men always crave a ham sandwich? (preferrably made by the woman and served in bed) ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/4 "2005-07-30T23:16:40Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > I didn’t even know this was an issue. The real issue is if your partner falls asleep _during_ sex. ---
**Author:** ![Ficer67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c57346/32.png) [@Ficer67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ficer67)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2005, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/5 "2005-07-30T23:50:29Z")
You know, it is really difficult to answer this question in the third person point of view. I only have personal experience on this subject. Well here goes… With my ex-girlfriend, I spent a lot of time and energy making her happy. Outside the bedroom, this involved doing things that she wanted. She wanted work done on her condominium, so we worked on her condominium. She wanted to go to a certain restaurant, or a certain night out, and we did what she wanted. And, inside the bedroom we did what she wanted also. And this made her happy. And I too rolled over and went to sleep afterwards. One night she actually contributed to our evening together. We did things that we both liked. And, the experience was fantastic. We lasted 3-4 hours together, (isn’t that some of what you want?) And, regardless of whether we were ever happy before or after that night, for that night we were blissful together. So, my answer to this question is to get involved in what your significant other wants out of you. Do not ask him or her directly, because that will spoil the moment, and he or she will think you are a dunce. No, instead do some trial and error, and take note of what he or she likes. Also read up on some general anatomy, because that is something that no one knows like they should. And get to know your significant other’s anatomy because everyone is different in a few ways. Ok that is about all. The floor is open to snide remarks that are most assuredly going to crop up. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/6 "2005-07-31T14:11:39Z")
> [@jspoi](#): > > The reason men fall asleep after orgasm is due (imho) to an adolescence spent “Self loving”. > > So - my input is that the reason men fall asleep after sex is that it’s programmed as a neurological response \ your brain automatically associates that orgasm is followed by sleep - so does. That’s been my thinking, too. It’s conditioning. I don’t usually mention it since it would indicate that, during my adolescence, I indulged myself. I’ve also wondered if the idea that men fall asleep after sex isn’t a corollary to the idea that all men want is sex. Once they get what they want, there’s nothing left to do, so they go to sleep. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/7 "2005-07-31T19:14:19Z")
Many, many men in this country are sleep-deprived (as are many, many women). In many cases, the desire for sexual gratification can outweigh the desire for sleep long enough to get to orgasm. But at the point of orgasm, the man’s brain enters a new state, & his sexual desire is satiated. (Also, his sex organs may be too sore to continue.) The need for too-long-put-off sleep takes over. On the other hand, the woman may actually be craving more sexual stimulation. Women are often left unsatisfied by coitus, or characterize themselves as multi-orgasmic. Either way, she may be ready to enjoy a longer sexual process, & may still be “on” for a while. She needs sleep, too, but she’s not really done with sex yet. It should be unsurprising to find cases where this goes the other way; the woman tired, the man still going. But the falling-asleep-after-ejaculation is an unsurprising stereotype, coming at the confluence of end-of-the-day weariness, & well, “coming.” I think one will find that men who engage in sex on waking from a good night’s rest (though not those who have sex after being woken early) tend to stay awake after orgasm. Also, as occasionally happens, a man may ejaculate without experiencing the full cerebral phenomenon of orgasm; since he doesn’t shift out of consciousness, he may maintain his sex drive & stay awake more readily. ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2005, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/8 "2005-08-01T00:33:26Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > I didn’t even know this was an issue. I’ve been with many–err, a few–woman who’s fallen asleep after sex. There might be an issue with the previous circumstances which lead to sex that make men more likely to fall asleep. I really don’t know anyting about this, but would like to know if young men masterbate more than young women. That would clarify this issue, I think. Actually, I’ve got more important things to think about now, but you’ve raised an interesting question. “but you’ve raised an interesting question.” Heh. ---
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/9 "2005-08-05T04:39:16Z")
IMO it goes way back to the beginning of the human race. Back then it was very important to keep the group going by making sure the women were all producing kids. When a man was “finished”, he would go off and fall asleep and let the next guy have a go at her just to make sure she got pregant. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/10 "2005-08-05T17:08:15Z")
> [@siegel2@cox.net](#): > > IMO it goes way back to the beginning of the human race. … When a man was “finished”, he would go off and fall asleep and let the next guy have a go at her just to make sure she got pregant. Why would he have to fall asleep? Why not go off and eat a mastadon sandwich? Which begs the questions… If males are usually posessive of females, why would they also develop a pattern to allow other males to “have a go?” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/11 "2005-08-05T17:42:42Z")
Though I’m amused by the phrase “5-knuckly shuffle”, simple examination of one of my hands reveals 14 points of articulation. Just sayin’, is all. ---
**Author:** ![ggTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7cd45c/32.png) [@ggTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ggTX)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/12 "2005-08-05T22:03:48Z")
why? because the man did all the work to get them both of them “there”. Don’t intend to sound like I resent it, because I don’t. I have just as much fun getting us there as she does laying back and enjoying the ride, but that fact is - 9Xs outta 10 - the man is putting more physical effort into it than the woman. So, for God’s sakes, ladies, cuddle us all you want, but let your guy drift off to sleep in peace. ---
**Author:** ![Corrvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@Corrvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corrvin)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/13 "2005-08-05T22:39:32Z")
> [@ggTX](#): > > why? because the man did all the work to get them both of them “there”. > > Don’t intend to sound like I resent it, because I don’t. I have just as much fun getting us there as she does laying back and enjoying the ride, but that fact is - 9Xs outta 10 - the man is putting more physical effort into it than the woman. > > So, for God’s sakes, ladies, cuddle us all you want, but let your guy drift off to sleep in peace. This is a really fascinating view into what happens in your bedroom, but I don’t see how it generalizes at all. Scientifically, you should try letting your lady on top and see if you conk out like a light. (Besides, she might like it.) Corr ---
**Author:** ![Bearflag70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Bearflag70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bearflag70)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2005, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/14 "2005-08-05T23:01:22Z")
Not all men want to sleep after sex, and apparently, some men should just be left to do whatever it is they want to do after sex. > [@](#): > > PANAMA CITY, Fla. – A Florida sports fan has been sentenced to death for killing his wife after sex. > > Christoper Offord got angry because his wife wanted to cuddle after they had sex – but he wanted to watch sports on television. She died after being struck dozens of times with a claw hammer. ---
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2005, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/15 "2005-08-06T01:49:11Z")
QUOTE "Why would he have to fall asleep? Why not go off and eat a mastodon sandwich? Which begs the questions… If males are usually possessive of females, why would they also develop a pattern to allow other males to “have a go?” " The reason he fell asleep and didn`t go out for a sandwich was because if he was sleeping he would be unaware of what was going on. If he was having a sandwich, he could walk in on the other guy “doing” his female. The reason the pattern would develop was because the most important concern was getting the female pregnant, not the male`s possessive feelings. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2005, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/16 "2005-08-06T02:39:19Z")
> [@siegel2@cox.net](#): > > IMO it goes way back to the beginning of the human race. Back then it was very important to keep the group going by making sure the women were all producing kids. When a man was “finished”, he would go off and fall asleep and let the next guy have a go at her just to make sure she got pregant. Not the least of many problems with this is that it presupposes that these early people knew when a woman was ovulating, thus were determined to make sure she had ample opportunity to be impregnated at that time. Otherwise, your theory seems to assume that either caveguys had a big affinity for sloppy seconds, or that the cavegals were pretty much horizontal and being pumped away at just about the whole time that they were not obviously pregnant. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2005, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-on-why-do-men-fall-asleep-after-sex/314722/17 "2005-08-06T11:42:19Z")
> [@siegel2@cox.net](#): > > The reason he fell asleep and didn`t go out for a sandwich was because if he was sleeping he would be unaware of what was going on. And a sound sleeper he would be, too. > [@siegel2@cox.net](#): > > The reason the pattern would develop was because the most important concern was getting the female pregnant, not the male`s possessive feelings. …then why be possesive at all?