# More parody songs like my gramma used to sing. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 1, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740 "2005-07-01T18:42:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/1 "2005-07-01T18:42:30Z")
Only when I was 5, I didn’t know they were parody songs. Like _I hate Bosco, it’s full of DDT My mommy put it in my milk to try to poison me But I fooled mommy and put it in her tea And now there’s no more mommy To try to poison me!_ Apparently there’s a commercial that belongs to that song. I don’t remember it. My gramma also used to sing On Top of Spaghetti which started like this: _On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed. It rolled off the table and onto the floor and then my poor meatball rolled out of the door._ I didn’t learn On Top of Ole Smokey until I was in middle school. And then I promptly forgot the real words and only remember the parody my gramma taught me. Kinda like I can’t sing _Our love’s in jeopardy. . ._, it’s always comes out _I lost on jeopardy. . ._ Have parody songs usurped real songs in your head? Or is my mind twisted. ::goes off singing _Hold me closer Tony Danza. . ._ ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Mapp](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miss_mapp/32/369_2.png) [@Miss\_Mapp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Mapp)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/2 "2005-07-01T18:59:38Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Only when I was 5, I didn’t know they were parody songs. Like > _I hate Bosco, it’s full of DDT > My mommy put it in my milk to try to poison me > But I fooled mommy and put it in her tea > And now there’s no more mommy > To try to poison me!_ My mother taught me this song too, but the first line was different (Bosco was “rich in…” something; I don’t remember what, but it wasn’t DDT). I didn’t run into the real Bosco jingle until much later in life. I usually find that parody versions of songs and poems stick with me at least as well as the real versions, if not better. When I hear the non-parody, the parody tends to run alongside it in my mind and it’ll come out if I don’t take care to keep my mouth shut. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/3 "2005-07-01T19:45:51Z")
Mad Magazine spoiled a couple of songs for me. I can’t ever hear “You’re a Grand Old Flag” without singing to myself: _You’re a fat old hag, You’re an unsightly bag, But you’re still my true love, EmmyLou…_ And Moon River to me sounds like: _Chopped liver, onions on the side My social life has died From you. My friends shun me, They outrun me The smell of my breath is slow death, Sad but true…_ I could go on, but I won’t. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/4 "2005-07-01T19:48:31Z")
I cannot hear “The Stars and Stripes Forever” without thinking of these lyrics: **Be kind to your web-footed friends, For a duck may be somebody’s mother. Be kind to your friends in the swamp Where the weather is cold and damp…** ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/5 "2005-07-01T19:59:57Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > Kinda like I can’t sing **Our love’s in jeopardy. . .** , it’s always comes out **I lost on jeopardy. . .** Well, that one’s a Weird Al Yankovic version. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Gaudere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e495f1/32.png) [@Gaudere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaudere)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/6 "2005-07-01T22:48:10Z")
To the tune of the Star Spangled Banner: \*Oh say can you see Any bedbugs on me? If you do, pick a few, and I’ll fry them for you If you happen to throw up, I will lend you a cup Drink it down, do not frown, for it’s nourishing toooo Oh say do the bedbugs, e-e-ever yet roam O’er the land of the free, and the beds of our home? \* ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/7 "2005-07-01T23:14:25Z")
When I was 9, I wrote this parody of the old Spider-Man cartoon theme song, in which I imagine the show is about Iron Man instead: _Iron Man, Iron Man Does whatever an iron can Steams a cloth any size Presses pants, shirts and ties Watch out - here comes the Iron Man_ ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/8 "2005-07-01T23:29:54Z")
Jingle bells Batman smells Robin laid an egg The batmobile Lost a wheel The Joker got away - hey ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/9 "2005-07-01T23:55:03Z")
I heard the Dr. Demento show (don’t recall the artist, sorry) song “Squirrels” before I ever heard the Beastie Boys’ “Girls.” Now whenever I happen to hear the real song, I expect the parody instead, and end up singing the parody lyrics along with it. “Squirrels! That’s all we really are is - Squirrels! We’re cute and cuddly, we are squirrels!..” ---
**Author:** ![davmilasav](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@davmilasav](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davmilasav)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/10 "2005-07-02T02:07:32Z")
The basketball player who sat behind me in high school used to sing this little ditty to “Ironman” I am garbageman Coming here to get your garbage can Is it full of slime? Gonna have to use my gloves this time! ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/11 "2005-07-02T02:19:13Z")
We three kings of Orient are Trying to smoke a rubber cigar. It was loaded And explo-oh-ded. Now we’re on yonder star. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/12 "2005-07-02T05:34:00Z")
_Glory, glory, hallelujah. Teacher hit me with a ruler. I conked her in the bean With a rotten tangerine. Us brats go marching on._ The next one is to the tune of a military song, the name of which I cannot bring to mind. Anyone? _Comet will get your kitchen clean. Comet is made of kerosene. Comet will make you vomit. So get some comet And vomit Today._ Like **Archergirl** , I have many of the Mad Magazine parodies burned permanently into my brain. What school song was ever as rousing as this one (to the tune of “On Wisconsin”)? _On brave Pivnik, on brave Pivnik. Show them we’ve got spunk. Suffocate them, decimate them, Leave them all for junk. Rah rah rah. Send the roar up, Roll the score up, Stomp them into mud. Then clean up the mess With their own blood._ ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/13 "2005-07-02T05:55:27Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > _Glory, glory, hallelujah. > Teacher hit me with a ruler. > I conked her in the bean > With a rotten tangerine. > Us brats go marching on._ Other verses feature “Met her at the door/ with a loaded .44/ And she don’t teach no more” and “Hit her in the ass/ With a broken piece of glass/ Our kids are marching on” > [@](#): > > The next one is to the tune of a military song, the name of which I cannot bring to mind. Anyone? > _Comet will get your kitchen clean. > Comet is made of kerosene. > Comet will make you vomit. > So get some comet > And vomit > Today._ According to [this page](http://sneakers.pair.com/g-c.htm) (scroll down to **Cat Heads** entry) it’s the “Colonel Bogey March” from _The Bridge on the River Kwai_. I’m another veteran _Mad_ reader – here’s one of my memories: _I’ve got to stop smoking My doctor has said Or else when I’m seven I’m sure to be dead_ (as is “On Top of Spaghetti”, this one is a takeoff of “On Top of Old Smokey”) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/14 "2005-07-02T06:10:37Z")
_I’m Popeye the sailor man, I live in a garbage can. I eat all the worms And spit out the germs. I’m Popeye the sailor man._ 'Course, that’s not a true parody, it’s just childish foolishness. Parody is when the luteist is playing _Greensleeves_ and you start singing: _What child is this who laid to rest in Mary’s lap is sleeping?_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/15 "2005-07-02T06:59:52Z")
Who needs words? My father was a Spike Jones enthusiast, so the very first versions I ever heard of such songs as “Begin the Beguine” and “That Old Black Magic” and “Holiday for Strings” were–well, warped. “When they begin [hoot, honk, whiffle, cuckoo!\_ the beguine . . . .” The lyrics to “Holiday for Strings” (which doesn’t actually have lyrics) were: “Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha-ha, hee hee hee hee, who who who-ha, ho ho ho ho ha ha ha ha”== sorry. I can’t go on. Of course you realize that at the time I didn’t KNOW they were warped. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/16 "2005-07-02T12:55:48Z")
You would all enjoy the following book, Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts-the subversive folklore of childhood, by Josepha Sherman. In it are many of the childhood rhymes and parodies mentioned above, and their variations by time and location. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/17 "2005-07-02T13:52:47Z")
> [@laina\_f](#): > > _Glory, glory, hallelujah. > Teacher hit me with a ruler. > I conked her in the bean > With a rotten tangerine. > Us brats go marching on._ > > The next one is to the tune of a military song, the name of which I cannot bring to mind. Anyone? > _Comet will get your kitchen clean. > Comet is made of kerosene. > Comet will make you vomit. > So get some comet > And vomit > Today._ > \* I knew it as _Comet will make your teeth turn green. Comet, it tastes like gasoline._ ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2005, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/18 "2005-07-02T14:18:41Z")
Another one from Mad Magazine (to the tune of "On the Street Where You Live) (you have to be old enough to remember that Raleigh cigarettes used to come with coupons): \*We have never owned a stuffed moose before. For a stuffed moose we just never had no use before. Now we’ve thirty-three, Raleigh sent them free. We just love all those gifts that they give. People stop and stare at our landing strip. It took thirty million coupons to gain ownership. Raleigh sent it free, with a warranty. We just love all those gifts that they give.\* ---
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/19 "2005-07-03T07:25:46Z")
_Alas, my love, you do me dirt, You put green sleeves on my yellow shirt._ ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740/20 "2005-07-03T14:47:47Z")
Here’s a Christmas parody that would probably get you expelled or at least suspended from a zero-tolerance school: _Deck the halls with gasoline Fa la la la la, la la la la Strike a match and watch it gleam Fa la la la la, la la la la Watch the school burn down to ashes Fa la la la la, la la la la Aren’t you glad you play with matches? Fa la la la la, la la la la_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-parody-songs-like-my-gramma-used-to-sing/310740.md?page=2)