# More religious glurge from Mom **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 6, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574 "2004-04-06T16:33:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/21 "2004-04-07T00:25:28Z")
> [@](#): > > And that is when the old doctor’s smile fades and he says, “We had no idea it would be little child. We weren’t prepared. I’m sorry sir, we need it all!” > > “But but … You don’t understand.” > > “We are talking about the world here. Please sign. We need it all!” > > “But can’t you give him a transfusion?” > > “If we had clean blood we would. Can you sign? Would you sign?” > > In numb silence, you do. See, right there is where the glurge loses me. 'Cause if it were my kid, they’d have to shoot me before I’d let them take his blood. Fuck the rest of the world. Let it burn. They’re not touching my kid. I’m not even parent. I don’t want to be a parent. But there are some things you don’t do, not under any circumstances, and sacrificing your own child is one of them. On the other hand, if I were that doctor? I wouldn’t even ask the parent. Have some security guys restrain him while I dragged the kid off and killed him to save the entire planet. Having to murder an innocent to save the planet would be horrible, but necessary. I’d feel incredibly guilty about it, but I think I could live with that guilt. Asking that kid’s parent to be the one to make that decision? Making _them_ live with that guilt? That’s just unspeakable. ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/22 "2004-04-07T00:42:42Z")
Well gobear made my main point. I will add it’d even be better if the father had a variety of cures at his disposal and choose the graphic violent death of his son over anything else. Then further tortured anyone for eternity for not instantly believing in his son’s sacrifice which was only passed through word of mouth due to a titanic cover up that the father himself instigated for no good reason. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/23 "2004-04-07T01:25:46Z")
It’s an interesting allegory that surely has root in philosophical and theistic tenets both deep and meaningful. But what’s lacking is the fact that all they have to do is take a helicopter out to that freighter with the sick Chinese crew where they’ll get the information from the dying cook that he sold a monkey to Jimbo who’s already dead back in Boston. And while this won’t directly help, they’d at least figure it out soon enough where to look for the lost monkey and that freaky looking little girl who thinks the monkey is a dog or some shit will get all traumatized when they shoot it with a tranq dart, but fuck her … she’s not infected. Anyway, after all that shit is said and done all you got to do is get Dustin Hoffman to say, “With all due respect, sir, fuck you,” which is pretty much the coolest thing he’s said in a movie since, “I’m walkin’ here! I’m walkin’ here!” and then they can drop the bomb in the water instead of in the town even though there was no water anywhere near that fucking town for the whole rest of the movie, and why the fuck doesn’t that bomb do damage anyway? It’s not like they didn’t bomb right fucking _next_ to the town and that would aced all those sick motherfuckers anyway … and while we’re at it, you got people all over the place just dropping like lightweights at a Dead concert, but one little monkey turns into enough serum to cure the fucking world inside of 10 minutes!!! Religion is just too confusing, is all I’m saying. ---
**Author:** ![tsarina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f4b2a3/32.png) [@tsarina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tsarina)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/24 "2004-04-07T01:31:01Z")
I’m still trying to figure out how the hell you’d make a vaccine from a kid’s blood who’s never been infected. Wouldn’t it make more sense to find someone who’d been infected but survived, isolate some immunoglobulin, and inject people with that instead? - tsarina, who unfortunately slept through most of her immunology courses. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/25 "2004-04-07T01:44:33Z")
What is this mysterious flu? Syphilus? (sp?) AIDS? Did they all get it for-ni-cating with loose wimmen and homo-sexual per-verts? Now, there is a thought that will make these folk sit up and possibly blink. Gah, \*\*Revtim \*\* you have my sympathies for dealing with your mother. You have more patience than I ever would. **Munch** [quote] My step-father, a devout Catholic, says that the anguish of being separated from the Father his entire life was more painful than any of the torture. It’s a very interesting concept to consider \*\* I’m a bit confused. Is Jesus pining for his step father or his metaphysical father that he never met until he died? forgive me if Jesus did meet the Big One, I don’t remember it at all. Or is he pining for the fjords? And, the question I would like to Hijack this thread with is: Did God ever pay child support? ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/26 "2004-04-07T01:47:11Z")
more importantly how much would that child support be? $$$ ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/27 "2004-04-07T02:56:09Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Gah, \*\*Revtim \*\* you have my sympathies for dealing with your mother. You have more patience than I ever would. It’s really not so bad, as long as I can vent here occasionally. We really get along very well otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/28 "2004-04-07T02:57:34Z")
I propose a new bumper sticker: Jesus gave up a weekend for your sins. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/29 "2004-04-07T03:01:18Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > I propose a new bumper sticker: > > Jesus gave up a weekend for your sins. Tacky, **gobear**. But I like it. A lot. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/30 "2004-04-07T03:16:41Z")
What gets my goat about the story (well, besides the glurge-ness, the idiotic “horrible virus”, people lining up, etc etc etc) is the fact that Jesus and the child really aren’t in the same position. IIRC, really, Jesus _does_ have final decision in what happens. Since he is God he could put a stop to the whole thing (hence Satan tempting in the desert, etc). Basically, Jesus gave his consent to be put to death. The kid, on the other hand, didn’t. His _parents_ did. They signed the consent form and let him die. The kid couldn’t say, “hey, stop it! Stop! Let me go! I refuse to do this!” Basically I’m saying that Jesus had final veto power, and the kid in here doesn’t. It just chaps my ass. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/31 "2004-04-07T04:15:01Z")
So Jesus (some guys kid) dies a relatively quick medically supervised death (rather than a painfull crucifixtion), to absolve the sinners (evryone on the planet) from their sins (some virus that they contracted without their knowledge)? Oh, and then people should revere the _man_ who lost his, wait gave up, his kid beacuse of a virus? What kind of bullshit is this, bullshit? I forget when God said “hey how 'bout a little credit for my son, he died for all of your sins y’know”. Cry at chiristmas for christ’s uh…my son’s death. Wait, I forgot to tell you, he comes back, sort of. The kid doesn’t. People that send chain e-mails like that, that prey on easily influenced peoples superstitions, will end up in hell. Just because they should. And the people that respond to that shit need to get a fucking clue. Bad analogy is an understatement. It’s just mind control for the weak-willed. ---
**Author:** ![shy\_guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@shy\_guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shy_guy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/32 "2004-04-07T04:43:24Z")
Hah! I remember my social studies teacher reading this to us in 9th grade (public school, mind you). I remember even then I wanted nothing more than to tell him to shove this piece of garbage right up his ass. Man, I hated that guy. Anyway, my issues aside, I feel your pain, sort of. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/33 "2004-04-07T05:44:53Z")
IANAmedicaldoctor (Though I play one with stray animals, a complete set of Sears Craftsman tools, and a lot of superglue) But why not just hyperoxygenate the kid, then drop his core temperature? This should give him enough time to be exsanguinated and refilled. I also think that the glurge would work better if there was a crowd yelling at the father. “Oy vey, shmendrick! Hurry up and sign so the kid dies!” “But, he’s an innocent child!” You say. “Why in the name of Allah are we waiting? Kill the boy!” “Yeah, like hurry up so I can get back to burning sage and cleansing my chockers!” “But he’s my only son!” You say. “Look moron, sign the form now! I need to get home so I can finish tomorrow’s lesson plan on how man evolved from chimps!” ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/34 "2004-04-07T08:27:20Z")
Oh. My. God. **Jack Batty** , you deserve a Nobel Freaking Prize for that. I’m pretty sure that’s the hardest I’ve ever laughed at anything I’ve read on the SDMB. Good God, that’s hilarious. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 10:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/35 "2004-04-07T10:34:47Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Even if the Bible were 100 percent true, it ain’t much of a sacrifice when all the sacrifice means is that he arrives in Heaven next to your side after dying. How is it a sacrifice at all, if He has eternal life? The folks in the attached glurge made a much bigger sacrifice, IMO. I’ve wondered about that myself. I think it was Borges who mused that while Jesus only lost his life (and that only temporarily) Judas gave up his soul (or at least, had his soul condemned to eternal torment in hell). Therefore, it’s actually Judas who made the ultimate sacrifice for our sins, since without his betrayal, Jesus never would have died on the cross. How do you think your Mom would take to that theory? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/36 "2004-04-07T10:58:37Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Ignoring the part about people “choosing” not to love (I cannot choose to love or not love something I did not choose to not believe exist in the first place), that sort of sounds like it’s the non-Christians being sacrificed. It’s the non-lovers. Labels don’t live or die; spirits do. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/37 "2004-04-07T13:46:02Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > People are working around the clock trying to find an antidote. Nothing is working! California, Oregon, Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts. “Not only are we going to try to find an antidote in **New Hampshire** , Tom Harkin, we’re going to \*\*South Carolina \*\* and **Oklahoma** , **Arizona** , and **North Dakota** , and **New Mexico**. And we’re going to \*\*California \*\* and **Texas** and \*\*New York \*\* to find an antidote. And we’re going to **South Dakota** and **Oregon** and **Washington** and **Michigan**! And then, if we haven’t found one by then, we’re going to \*\*Washington, D.C., \*\* to drain all the blood out of a little boy to make the antidote! _ **YEE-HAH!** _” Putting Howard Dean in charge of finding the antidote is a good idea, since he IS a doctor. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/38 "2004-04-07T13:48:12Z")
You know what really bugs me about this stupid glurge story? OK who here really thinks that the radio is going to break in for a special annoucement that two Long Island woman are dying of an unknown illness? Anybody? Yeah and that the fact that this is on the radio would make a person walking outside a church run inside and tell them to 'TURN ON THE RADIO!" Got two words for you, one of them is yeah and the other is right. Then notice how the infection comes in from the\* borders\*? Oh and the coasts are devastated and it is in the heartland where the _pure blood_ is found. This sounds like something written by a Klan member. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/39 "2004-04-07T13:49:46Z")
not to mention a real doctor would never kill someone for others lives. Against the law. In a better analogy the kid would come back to life better than ever and what? His father would kill anyone who objected to him killing his son? ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2004, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574/40 "2004-04-07T15:35:37Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > I propose a new bumper sticker: > > Jesus gave up a weekend for your sins. Very nice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-religious-glurge-from-mom/238574.md?page=3)