More Sterling Performance From The TSA

[gurujulp]

@singular1

ooh, ooh, pick me! Proud to say that in early 2002 I worked a buttload of overtime helping design the modifications for aftermarket 737s to the cockpit (now referred to as Flight Deck:rolleyes:) bulkhead and doors at Boeing. My personal contributions were hours spent on reinforcing that tiny horizontal bit at the top of the angled doorframe and redesigning the vent openings in the bulkhead of the models that have a lavatory adjacent to the flight deck so no teeny tiny terrorist can squeeze thru an opening and harm the pilot. It was fascinatingly detailed work, and I learned a lot about contortionists and physical skeletal limits. Sometimes I have a very cool job.
Unfortunately the amount of pain I live with means I can no longer fly and see the fruits of my labor, but sometimes more able-bodied coworkers bring me pictures and videos of my modifications being installed. I dread the day one of my parents die (and at 80 & 81 it’s only a matter of time) and I have to tell the other one I can’t fly across the country for a funeral.

I hope it’s a while before you need this advice, but my family arranged to delay my grandmas funeral so everyone in our rather large extended fam could drive from all over the country, as several have so many kids that flying is far too expensive- you can get pretty much anywhere in the 48 within a week…

[singular1]

Thank you for the thought, but that wouldn’t work either. Nobody would expect us to make a 6000 mile trip for a funeral. Actually, it probably won’t be a surprise to the family. We have lived anywhere from 700 to 3000 miles away from them for 38 years now, and I’ve missed the weddings of all four siblings. Since they all still live in the same area, there will be plenty of family around when the time comes. I’m not big on funerals, either, but there will be some guilt. I do appreciate the suggestion, though.

[AWB]

@rayman5321

Disembark, not debark.

debark is acceptable.

It comes from the noun “bark”, an term for a sailing vessel having three or more masts, square-rigged on all but the aftermost mast, which is fore-and-aft-rigged.

So, to embark is to get on a boat; to debark is to get off a boat.

Then, disembark would be to undo getting on a boat. A bit redundant, seeing as you have to get on a boat first before getting off. Unless you were born on the boat it transit, or fell out of the sky onto the boat.

[fachverwirrt]

I sure hope this was bumped by a spammer and that you didn’t bump a year and a half old zombie just to make a point that I made last March.

[Alessan]

@AWB

debark is acceptable.

It comes from the noun “bark”, an term for a sailing vessel having three or more masts, square-rigged on all but the aftermost mast, which is fore-and-aft-rigged.

So, to embark is to get on a boat; to debark is to get off a boat.

Then, disembark would be to undo getting on a boat. A bit redundant, seeing as you have to get on a boat first before getting off. Unless you were born on the boat it transit, or fell out of the sky onto the boat.

Interesting. I’m familiar with the spelling “barque”, but I never made the connection.

[DiosaBellissima]

@phouka

Last time I flew, from San Diego to Seattle, and then Dallas to San Diego, I forgot to check all the pockets of my purse and ended up taking my Swiss Army Knife through security. Twice.

I feel so safe.

And on the opposite end of the spectrum, last time I flew to New Orleans out of Las Vegas, I got the full pat down search swabbing for bomb residue thing because I was wearing a shirt with sparkly thread in it and the scanner showed that I had bombs literally all over my torso (which I clearly did not, as the shirt was tight).

The TSA woman looked at me, sighed heavily, and said, “You done wore the wrong shirt to the airport, honey.” Oh, thanks, so I guess you realize it’s my shirt and won’t search me now? Oh, nope, 10 minute swabbing and patting, fabulous.

ETA: goddamnit! I never notice when it’s an old thread.

[anya_marie]

I just think that as a country we can do a much better job with security screening, I just went on a trip and flew into and out of Fort Myers with my mother and sister. My mom got the patdown treatment twice, and we are white women wearing glasses.

I got the fun of the full body scanner, and a TSA agent patted my head since i used a clip on my hair to keep it off my neck. I know they have to screen people but I am not crazy about flying and don’t seem to fit a profile of known freaks who want to blow up planes and shit. I was also concerned about my luggage being searched because it was full of random stuff again.

[gamerunknown]

@lspolkom

fter all, why carry a bomb on a train when you can stop a truck bomb at a grade crossing and have the train plow into it? And to search people leaving the train. . . the stupid, it hurts!

Maybe they planned on catching a terrorist undergoing a change of heart and thoroughly interviewing them to provide a sterling example.

@anya marie

I don’t know how they grade threats but I’d like to see how i score as a 32 year old, atheist in blue jeans who wears glasses, who seems to look like a librarian to some people.

Profiling doesn’t work. Once there’s evidence that airports are strictly enforcing profiles, terrorist recruiting agencies will begin recruiting outside of those profiles. For instance, Japanese Marxists were recruited to attack the Lod airport. Other examples of not fitting the profile are listed here.

[Clothahump]

@markdash

Serious question: What level of TSA screening is “appropriate”?

There are a lot of critics of the TSA and their searching/scanning procedures on this board. I’m curious just how much searching would be proper. I would assume scanning passenger luggage for explosives and metal detection would be OK, but that a lot of the patdowns and such is unnecessary. But I’ll let you guys speak for yourselves.

I personally think the entire searching process is illegal and unconstitutional. My buying a plane ticket is not probable cause for a search.

I sometimes think El Al’s security model is far superior.

[Bosstone]

@Clothahump

I personally think the entire searching process is illegal and unconstitutional. My buying a plane ticket is not probable cause for a search.

I sometimes think El Al’s security model is far superior.

A physically invasive but quick pat-down versus a lengthy interrogation and intense personal scrutiny. Can I pick from column C, please?

[RickJay]

And they wanted to strip search my 5-year-old daughter. Jesus.

[Dr.Woo]

@DiosaBellissima

And on the opposite end of the spectrum, last time I flew to New Orleans out of Las Vegas, I got the full pat down search swabbing for bomb residue thing because I was wearing a shirt with sparkly thread in it and the scanner showed that I had bombs literally all over my torso (which I clearly did not, as the shirt was tight).

The TSA woman looked at me, sighed heavily, and said, “You done wore the wrong shirt to the airport, honey.” Oh, thanks, so I guess you realize it’s my shirt and won’t search me now? Oh, nope, 10 minute swabbing and patting, fabulous.

ETA: goddamnit! I never notice when it’s an old thread.

Well christ, if we can’t fucking wear sparkly clothes when en route from Vegas to N’awlins, I quit. What the hell are they thinking? It’s nearly a federal law that you wear sparkles on that route.

[Saint_Cad]

My 2 cents literally.

1. The LAX nudie-booth. Most people 10 sec max. A hot-ass 19 year old was in there about a minute. I thought they were going to have her start doing jumping jacks.

2. At Heathrow, I kept hearing how they knew who the Americans were. It took me a minute, we were the only ones taking our shoes off. The second time I flew out of London I kept my shoes on and made it home in one piece.

[Spoons]

@Saint_Cad

At Heathrow, I kept hearing how they knew who the Americans were. It took me a minute, we were the only ones taking our shoes off. The second time I flew out of London I kept my shoes on and made it home in one piece.

I’ve seen that before at Canadian airports. You can always spot the Americans, since they have their shoes off and ready for the conveyor. They are asked to put them back on.

[Alessan]

@gamerunknown

Profiling doesn’t work. Once there’s evidence that airports are strictly enforcing profiles, terrorist recruiting agencies will begin recruiting outside of those profiles. For instance, Japanese Marxists were recruited to attack the Lod airport. Other examples of not fitting the profile are listed here.

“Profiling” does not mean only - or even primarily - ethnic profiling. It’s also psychological profiling. People who are about to hijack a plane are almost always tense and nervous, and if you train your agents to spot tense and nervous people, and then have them look for suspicious behavior and cross-reference with age, appearance and yes, ethnic data, you can get pretty good results.

Now, I’m sure that there are plenty of international terrorists-for-hire who are capable of Bond-villain levels of coolness and competence before and during hijacking. Fortunately, the vast majority of them only exist in movies and TV. The real ones are vanishingly rare, and no organization would waste them on a suicide mission. Most terrorists are semi-trained scum, and semi-trained scum are easy to spot.

[Lord_Feldon]

@Alessan

“Profiling” does not mean only - or even primarily - ethnic profiling. It’s also psychological profiling. People who are about to hijack a plane are almost always tense and nervous, and if you train your agents to spot tense and nervous people, and then have them look for suspicious behavior and cross-reference with age, appearance and yes, ethnic data, you can get pretty good results.

Is there any evidence actually backing this up? Humans are generally pretty crappy at detecting deception, so I’d be genuinely interested to see the pretty good results.

[Grumman]

@Alessan

People who are about to hijack a plane are almost always tense and nervous, and if you train your agents to spot tense and nervous people…

…you’ll probably find all the people who’ve been accosted by the TSA in the past.

[Alessan]

@Lord_Feldon

Is there any evidence actually backing this up? Humans are generally pretty crappy at detecting deception, so I’d be genuinely interested to see the pretty good results.

Humans may or may not be good at detecting deception, but we’re very good at sensing danger and “smelling” fear - cops, Secret Service agents and bullies do it all the time. If you teach agents what to look for, and trust their instincts, you’ll get much better results than having them work like automatons.

The TSA is currently designed in such a manner so as to prevent agents from ever using their brains. Seems to me that’s kind of defeating the purpose.

[Alessan]

@Grumman

…you’ll probably find all the people who’ve been accosted by the TSA in the past.

Yeah, they have pretty much poisoned that well, haven’t they?

[Saint_Cad]

@Lord_Feldon

Is there any evidence actually backing this up? Humans are generally pretty crappy at detecting deception, so I’d be genuinely interested to see the pretty good results.

Actually I would say the problem is that people can get tense and nervous for any number of reasons and people can act confident even if they are planning something. I’ve learned that in many places, no one will stop you if you act like you’re supposed to be there, even when there is evidence you’re not supposed to be there (like no badge).

So the profile Alessan talks about may catch the guy trying to sneak 4 oz of hair product on board but probably won’t catch the person trying to go out with a bang and a “Allahu Akbar!” or “Erin Go Bragh!”