# More Stupid Church Signs **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 7, 2002, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786 "2002-11-07T22:09:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/21 "2002-11-08T20:23:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*“When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out all right.” > > No shit. > “Faith is like fishing for Moby Dick with tarter sauce.” > > I’d rather use Jonah. \*\* **lieu** , you are a genius. Thanks for the hysterical laughter. ---
**Author:** ![gingersnap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f04885/32.png) [@gingersnap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gingersnap)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/22 "2002-11-09T03:47:14Z")
“For all you do, His blood’s for you” …gak ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/23 "2002-11-09T04:04:26Z")
You win, **gingersnap**. Someone should be soundly beaten for that one. ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Magic8ball](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Miss\_Magic8ball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Magic8ball)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/24 "2002-11-09T04:11:09Z")
church. ::shudder:: god. ::vomit:: ---
**Author:** ![Jello](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@Jello](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jello)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/25 "2002-11-09T05:03:06Z")
Last summer, there was a series of free downtown concerts. A truck circled the park where they were held, saying JesUSAves on one side and “Jesus’s life had a point…so does yours!” It showed a bloody nail. ---
**Author:** ![fizzestothetop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e79b87/32.png) [@fizzestothetop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizzestothetop)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/26 "2002-11-09T06:04:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jello \* > > A truck circled the park where they were held, saying JesUSAves I passed a church once that had the JesUSAaves (silver S because I couldn’t find a white in the color option) on the sign. They were really stretching for that one. ---
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/27 "2002-11-09T06:39:02Z")
A few more I’d forgotten: “Wal-Mart isn’t the only saving place.” “Tithe if you love Jesus. Anyone can honk.” “What’s missing from this word? CHRCH” ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/28 "2002-11-09T07:02:24Z")
Wow, I’m missing out over here in California! I’ve never seen one of those in my life! They’re hysterical! You know, in a open-mouth-staring-in-disbelief-then-bursting-into-giggles kinda way… ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/29 "2002-11-09T16:15:51Z")
Most confusing: You can baptize a cat a hundred times, but it still won’t go to heaven I have no clue ---
**Author:** ![B.Pants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@B.Pants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Pants)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/30 "2002-11-09T17:22:24Z")
My favorite of all time? (seen at a church of christ in a tiny Southern town, of course) God’s favorite word is “come”. ---
**Author:** ![Blackeyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@Blackeyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackeyes)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/31 "2002-11-09T17:47:47Z")
> [@](#): > > You can baptize a cat a hundred times, but it still won’t go to heaven Cat’s have no soul, therefore they can’t get into heaven. God’s a dog lover. 🙂 > [@](#): > > Seen in North Carolina in 2001 (sorry I can’t be more specific): “Jesus: All your sin are belong to me” I’ve seen this type of thing other places, but… I DON’T GET IT!!! 😕 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Harvey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@Max\_Harvey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Harvey)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/32 "2002-11-09T17:52:48Z")
About eight years ago, around 3 am, I drove by this one outside a small church near a highway in Tuscaloosa, AL (a college town): GOD SHOOK THE WORLD WITH A BONG HIT I went back a couple of hours later to take a picture, but it was _already gone_. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/33 "2002-11-09T18:39:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\* > > The bomb. \*\* STOP THAT!!! or I’ll pee. ---
**Author:** ![Bob\_Scene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Bob\_Scene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob_Scene)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/34 "2002-11-09T19:33:11Z")
**JESUS DID NOT DROP OUT OF SCHOOL HE WAS SUSPENDED** ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2002, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786/35 "2002-11-09T20:18:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tapioca Dextrin \* > **You can baptize a cat a hundred times, but it still won’t go to heaven** Clearly, these people have never tried putting a cat in water before. “A hundred times”? HELL no. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-stupid-church-signs/135786.md?page=1)