# More than one little fart on the scene of latest Tom Cruise movie **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 27, 2007, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644 "2007-09-27T05:19:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/41 "2007-09-27T18:09:50Z")
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove] So the moment of silence was to honor the German officers who tried to kill Hitler? Didn’t we have a thread a while back, where it was established that these officer’s weren’t motivated by saving the Jews, stopping reprisals taken on civillians, draining children in occupied territories to resupply the army’s blood bank, etc. You know - the stuff the army had been either doing itself or standing by watching the SS do for years by that point. No, they just wanted somebody smarter in charge of the war before it was too late (which it was by then anyway). You bet I’d fart on Tom Cruise’s moment of silence to these guys. I’d only wish he’d hold it in a small elevator. [/QUOTE] Or a phone booth. 😃 “Uh oh fart. Uh oh fart.” “Did you fart, Ray? Did you _fucking_ fart?” “Fart.” “How can you stand that?” “I don’t mind it.” “How can you stand it?” “Ten minutes to Wapner. We’re definitely locked in this box with no TV.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/42 "2007-09-27T18:36:31Z")
Eine kleine furzmusik? I’m sure if L. Tom Hubbard reviews the scene he can determine who the culprit is by examining everyone closely… Here you can see Bill’s (extra #6), head, go back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Pffffffffft! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/43 "2007-09-27T20:18:26Z")
[QUOTE=pravnik] "See, Matt, you don’t understand…There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance in a body. [/QUOTE] What’s scary is that he may actually believe that. And he may have convinced himself that he never has gas, the same way he’s convinced himself that he’s no longer dyslexic, because Xenu took care of both those things. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/44 "2007-09-27T20:34:52Z")
Not the [worst time for a fart](http://www.twolumps.net/d/20040426.html) by any means. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/45 "2007-09-27T20:46:23Z")
Unless the culprit squints and hikes up one leg, I don’t see Grissom and the CSI Fart Squad nailing down the perp with the film footage. “Wait…there! Enhance it! _Enhance it!_” ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/46 "2007-09-27T20:48:30Z")
_pounds floor with fists_ Stop! _gasp_ Stop! My sides hurt! I’m going to piss myself! Stop! _holds sides and laughs helplessly_ ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/47 "2007-09-27T21:13:36Z")
If any of the crew members are $cienos, they’ll be forced to undergo an auditing session, and no way is someone going to get out of that without confessing that they were the one who farted. Let’s hope the farter wasn’t a lowly $cieno who tried but couldn’t hold it in. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/48 "2007-09-27T21:34:21Z")
I hate the idea of this movie anyway. Cruise isn’t doing it because he admires the characters (unless it’s for **Slithy Tove’s** reasons), but because he wants to do an end run around the German government and win the hearts and minds of the German people, because Germany has long had $cientology’s number on being a creepy brainwashing cult. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/49 "2007-09-27T22:21:15Z")
[QUOTE=Mobo85] Hitler farted a lot. Maybe this should be a comedy instead: the real reason Count Von Stauffenberg wanted to kill Hitler is because he couldn’t stop farting! [/QUOTE] This could help explain why he was so virulently anti-smoking, particularly in his Fuhrerbunker; once enough methane builds up, lighting up could spark a disaster. Not really, though, as the Mythbusters team proved. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2007, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/50 "2007-09-27T23:40:55Z")
[QUOTE=Equipoise] I hate the idea of this movie anyway. Cruise isn’t doing it because he admires the characters (unless it’s for **Slithy Tove’s** reasons), but because he wants to do an end run around the German government and win the hearts and minds of the German people, because Germany has long had $cientology’s number on being a creepy brainwashing cult. [/QUOTE] I’ll buy that. But if he wanted to make a movie about heroic anti-Hitler Germans, why didn’t he make a movie about the [White Rose,](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_rose) with Katie as Sophie Scholl, instead of about a bunch of self-serving junkers? Great story, wouldn’t be a dry eye in the house. Oh, but Tom’s too old to play any of the male leads, and he couldn’t wear a snazzy uniform. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2007, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/51 "2007-09-28T01:24:07Z")
I’d say Cruise was embarrassing his religion, but I don’t that that’s possible. So let him be a Scentologist if he wants too. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2007, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/52 "2007-09-30T15:41:21Z")
[QUOTE=The Scrivener] This could help explain why he was so virulently anti-smoking, particularly in his Fuhrerbunker; once enough methane builds up, lighting up could spark a disaster. Not really, though, as the Mythbusters team proved. [/QUOTE] I thought the Mythbusters only proved that the fart gas would never build up to the levels where it would smother you…I don’t believe they considered what a lit cigarette might add to the equation. Adam did show that you can light farts on fire, but it had to be edited out of the American version. [You can see it on YouTube.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqFRBHPIE-w) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2007, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/53 "2007-09-30T19:28:30Z")
Kenny proved that in “South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/54 "2007-09-30T20:11:25Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] Ah yes, the _Zapooter Film_. [/QUOTE] Ah, **lieu** , you’ve done it again. 🙂 Brilliance, I say! Pure brilliance!! 😃 I say we should give you a minute of silence to honor your gracious self. (Please pass the beans). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2007, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/55 "2007-10-01T21:49:40Z")
Shouldn’t Tom Cruise have himself fired? I mean, after all, what is a fart but the noxious emissions of an asshole? As I see it, he’s one of the worst offenders around. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2007, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/56 "2007-10-01T23:29:12Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] I bet it was Katie. [/QUOTE] My Katie does not pass gas, not even in her currently brainwashed state. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/57 "2007-10-02T02:25:45Z")
I love the self importance of this comment (bolding mine): > [@](#): > > The Hollywood actor - who is currently shooting World War II drama Valkyrie in Berlin - had \*\*paused filming to honor the anti-Nazi heroes \*\* portrayed in the movie when one employee decided to use the tribute to break wind. M-kay… Stauffenberg and his co-conspirators were indeed non-Nazis, but until 1944 they’d fully participated in the Nazi takeover of France and the battles that killed many Allied troops and locals in North Africa and Italy. Like General Armin von Roon in Herman Wouk’s _Winds of War_ and _War & Remembrance_ it’s interesting to note that they became Hitler haters about the time Hitler started losing the war and enacted the plot to kill him only post D-Day when it would have been very advantageous in negotiating a favorable peace with the Allies. (At the time of the July plot, the Allies had not yet liberated Paris or crossed into Germany, but it was pretty evident to the non deluded that they would be doing both soon, BUT at the same time Germany was still a strong enough fortress that, especially with Hitler gone, the Allies would probably have given them generous terms for surrender.) Long way of saying, just because he tried to kill Hitler doesn’t mean he was a saint or even anti-evil. He was a Machiavellian opportunist who could have blown Hitler to kingdom come if he’d been willing to die with him, but instead wanted to be Cromwell to the Nazi’s Cavaliers. In addition to which, Hitler’s flatulence was a matter of record (stress, vegetarian diet, ulcers, etc- bad combo). Had it been DeNiro he’d have appreciated the authenticity the fart brought to the set of a movie about Hitler’s court. (The scene of Hitler’s barge hovering over the pit where they threw the conspirators and Stauffenberg’s gold bikini clad last minute desperate attempt to strangle Hitler with the chain that connected him to Hitler’s throne is said to be reenacted with incredible realism, incidentally.) ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/58 "2007-10-02T12:26:07Z")
Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/59 "2007-10-02T14:48:39Z")
[QUOTE=danceswithcats] Cruise and the producers will go through the footage to identify the culprit [/QUOTE] “OK… now zoom in on _that_ guy’s ass… Hey! Get that smirk off your face! The only reason I’ve been doing this for the past five hours is to see who cut the cheese!!” ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2007, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644/60 "2007-10-02T16:30:46Z")
[QUOTE=Jake] Ah, **lieu** , you’ve done it again. 🙂 Brilliance, I say! Pure brilliance!! 😃 I say we should give you a minute of silence to honor your gracious self. (Please pass the beans). 😃 [/QUOTE] **lieu** reminds me of why I keep subscribing to the Dope- where else do you get intelligent fart puns about 20th century history? Plus the Dope’s a great substitute for sex- lots of willing asses and it goes down several times per day. As for who’s playing Hitler, I think it’s a computer animated dachshund now that original choice Don Knotts is dead and Danny Devito couldn’t commit due to dietary reasons. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-than-one-little-fart-on-the-scene-of-latest-tom-cruise-movie/420644.md?page=4)