# More things your kids say that break you up. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2011, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753 "2011-12-19T16:46:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/21 "2011-12-19T21:23:44Z")
Another one: about 6 am one of our cat’s wanders into boy #1’s room. Over the monitor my wife & hear: _“That bloody cat’s on my bed again”_. ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/22 "2011-12-19T21:24:20Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#): > > Whenever a religious Christmas song comes on, he excitedly shouts: > > “Jesus!” > > from the backseat. It is hard to keep a straight face. My kid is headed for two and a half and her favourite carol is ‘Mary’s Boy Child’ (which, for anyone who doesn’t know, is big on the line ‘Mary’s boy child, Jesus Christ, was born on Christmas Day…’). Which is fine, except that when she wants you to sing it she shouts ‘I WANT JESUS CHRIST!!!’ Sooner or later someone is going to grab her and baptise her. ---
**Author:** ![Dingbang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac8455/32.png) [@Dingbang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dingbang)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/23 "2011-12-19T21:26:10Z")
When my son was around 2 and just beginning to talk, we were at the grocery store one day. He helped me shop by pointing out the things he recognized and liked. As we entered the produce area, he spotted the juice cooler. He started yelling “Jooz! Jooz!” while pointing excitedly toward the juice – and a nice elderly couple who, I do believe, may have been Jewish. They gave me a very perplexed, not entirely happy look. I gave them a friendly wave with a shoulder shrug, and waited until I was in the car to laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/24 "2011-12-19T21:31:21Z")
Driving somewhere last week, the car in front splashed water on my windscreen. I turn the wipers on and Miss 3 in the back seat pipes up “Aww, dammit, now it’s raining!” ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/25 "2011-12-19T21:36:57Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#): > > He’s just so…earnest. Your son is \*very \*important!🆒 ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/26 "2011-12-19T21:39:44Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Your son is \*very \*important!🆒 I read it before you changed the smily. I was wondering what I said. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/27 "2011-12-19T21:49:45Z")
Eek, and I thought I got back to it right away. FTR: The [Importance of Being Earnest](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Importance_of_being_earnest). ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/28 "2011-12-19T22:30:16Z")
I am childless by choice and have not spent a lot of time around small children. A couple of years ago a couple with a little girl bought season tickets to hockey and got the seats next to mine. I think the little girl was two or so. Something happened on the ice and I let out “Oh, shit”. This beautiful little girl looks at her mom and with a big grin on her face says “Oh, shit”. For some reason this little girl likes me. I really try to control my language around her; I don’t want to me a bad influence. The group of season ticket holders around my seat gets quite a laugh out of watching me change words in mid-yell. I swear that little girl makes me swallow curses like after dinner mints. ---
**Author:** ![Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/intergalactic_gladiator/32/112_2.png) [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/29 "2011-12-19T22:53:39Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > Daughter, age 1-1/2: runs through our living room, passes by a toy telephone, and stops to pick up the receiver to have a one-sided imaginary conversation: “Hello? No. No… OK. OK, bye!” She hangs up and begins to continue on her way to the stairs. But of course I had to ask: “Who were you talking to?” “Oh - wrong number.” She’s doing Spike Jones bits? Impressive. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/30 "2011-12-19T22:59:46Z")
One of my friends on Facebook just posted that her 2 year-old calls her husband babe, because that’s what she calls him. So she’ll hear him say “No, babe! I don’t want to, babe!” and so on. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/31 "2011-12-19T23:47:30Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > “NO STEVEN COLBERT!! DAILY SHOW! DAILY SHOW!” I love it! Hilarious. Reminds me of how my now 10 year old back in '08 (so he was 7) became an ardent Obama supporter. While both my husband and I were in fact planning on voting for Obama we had not talked about this to the kids. We didn’t even have TV so he wasn’t even watching campaign commercials. To this day I can’t quite figure out how he became so attached to Obama, but he would talk to anybody about how they should vote for Obama (reason given: because he is so great) and become excited to the point of agitation whenever we passed an Obama yard sign. Cute stuff from today…5 year old desperately trying to get attention of 10 year old…“Joe! Joe! I have to tell you something! I have to tell you something!” no response…" Joe! I have to tell you something!" What was so important? “There’s a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the table!!!” ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/32 "2011-12-19T23:50:27Z")
When my nephew was about four, he’d make it a point of misbehaving when I would babysit. His favorite thing to do was jump out of bed and turn the light on after I’d tucked the boys in and turned it off. More than once I’d yell at him to just behave! (I was a snotty teenager) His response was always, “I AM being haved!” Now, that’s my standard answer when my husband tries to stop me when I’m being snarky. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/33 "2011-12-20T00:20:07Z")
The “NO COLBERT, DAILY SHOW!!” tantrum just has GOT to be sent in to Jon Stewart. _Es muss sein_! It reminds me of an embarrassingly incongruous tantrum my son, then 3-1/2 years old, threw in a Home Depot. He was pretty tired, we’d been shopping all day through two different stores before arriving at Home Depot around 5pm, and while not a tantrum prone child by any means, was nevertheless in prime condition for a meltdown. I’m a big lover of carbonated water, I drink a lot of (plain) seltzer, but my particular favorite is Perrier. I buy cases of the large 25 oz. green bottles, and often carry one with me when we go out somewhere. Well this particular excursion had run way longer than I’d expected, and I’d finished the bottle shortly after we got to Home Depot. Since we had at least another hour to go, I went to refill it at a water fountain. I came back to find my son all but falling asleep in the shopping cart (he was sitting in the little child seat with the two leg holes by the push bar). To keep him awake, my wife suggested he have a drink. He took the green glass bottle from my hands and took a swig. He put it down and had the most amazingly suspicious look on his cute little toddler face. “\*What \*is this?” he demanded. _Oh, no_, I thought to myself, but gallantly tried to baldface my way through the coming storm. “Why, it’s Perrier! See, it’s a Perrier bottle!” “No. No, this isn’t Perrier. It is NOT Perrier!” He put the bottle in his lap and started to cry. I picked him up to hug him but this, not doubt coupled with my recent and shameless attempt at deception, enraged him instead. “I want PERRIER! PERRIER!!!” Heads turned at the Home Depot to see the rich little kid who was demanding his Perrier. And God help us if we ran out of Grey Poupon. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/34 "2011-12-20T01:57:12Z")
When my youngest was about 7, we took a family trip to Mexico. In order to really get to know the culture and see for ourselves exactly what the fuss was about, we went to a bullfight. When the first bull was stabbed and there was blood spraying all over, my daughter cried out “Oh look at the blood spurt, daddy! He must have hit an artery!!” This is the same kid who at age 5 was watching a Discovery channel special on C-sections with her mom to celebrate Mother’s day. My wife couldn’t take the OR footage, so went into the kitchen. Soon the littlest Mercotan came into the kitchen too, and the Mrs. was full of concern, asking if the show was too much for her. “No, I just wanted to have some ice cream while I watched it. It’s on commercial now.” She got her ice cream and went back to watch more of the surgical procedure. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/35 "2011-12-20T02:25:32Z")
“Did the world start at 1 o’clock? I bet it did.” ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/36 "2011-12-20T03:23:28Z")
> [@carlotta](#): > > I love it! Hilarious. Reminds me of how my now 10 year old back in '08 (so he was 7) became an ardent Obama supporter. While both my husband and I were in fact planning on voting for Obama we had not talked about this to the kids. We didn’t even have TV so he wasn’t even watching campaign commercials. To this day I can’t quite figure out how he became so attached to Obama, but he would talk to anybody about how they should vote for Obama (reason given: because he is so great) and become excited to the point of agitation whenever we passed an Obama yard sign. Kids love him. Around the same time my son would get so excited to see him on tv. “It’s Barack Obama, mom! Mom! Mom! Barack Obama! He’s on tv!” Even better? We’re Canadian. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/37 "2011-12-20T04:22:55Z")
> [@Rhythmdvl](#): > > Except recently he’s started throwing fits when we put on Steven “NO STEVEN COLBERT!! DAILY SHOW! DAILY SHOW!” . . . Another echo for sending this in! I am sure the producers would get a big kick out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/38 "2011-12-20T04:28:18Z")
My middle daughter today said she wanted to run away and join the Middle Child Circus. :? ---
**Author:** ![Small\_Hen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ad7895/32.png) [@Small\_Hen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Small_Hen)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/39 "2011-12-20T05:09:56Z")
When my nephew was three, we were in a mall department store when a couple of women nearby started speaking in Spanish. My nephew loudly declared, “Oh! This must be the Spanish floor!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2011, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753/40 "2011-12-20T05:31:22Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Another one: a year or two later he asked where babies came from. I told him, but I guess not all of the details registered. Later he saw an obese man walking down the street and loudly said: “oh boy, he must have ten babies inside him!” According to my mother, when my youngest brother was told where babies come from, his response was “Oh, so _that’s_ what it’s for.” > [@chiroptera](#): > > I’m a painting contractor/decorative painter, and for one client I painted a sky-blue ceiling with clouds in a kid’s room…pretty standard stuff. She called me later to tell me that her three-year-old son pointed to the (real) sky shortly after I did his room, and asked if “Miss Painter” had painted the clouds on it. Aww… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-things-your-kids-say-that-break-you-up/606753.md?page=3)