# More unlikely doper quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089 "2001-07-19T19:25:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/1 "2001-07-19T19:25:33Z")
A fun thread, always. I’ll start. UncleBeer: No, thanks. I’ll just have coffee. Rasa: I just ate SO much! Monster104: I’m saving myself for marriage. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/2 "2001-07-19T19:32:43Z")
Esprix: I’d like to bang that chick six ways from Sunday ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/3 "2001-07-19T19:35:04Z")
Manservant Hecubus: Why, that was very well thought out. Thank you!\* \*[sub]Note: This sentence must be said without sarcasm.[/sub] Maeglin: Nah. Give me a good broadaxe ANY day! Ad\_noctum: Guys, does this make my ass look fat? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/4 "2001-07-19T19:37:20Z")
Mnementh: Man. I’m getting fat. I’ll have another meatball sub. Mauvaise: BEER ME! Nymysys: I suck. Zenster: Anyone know how to make meatloaf? Does it come in a package? Hamadryad: {{{{{{{hardygrrl}}}}}}} Mercutio: I lost my virginity! Ad Noctum: I lost my virginity! Demo: I masturbated with a shoehorn last night. (oops, that’s a LIKELY quotation) ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/5 "2001-07-19T19:37:58Z")
**Chronos** : You know what, you’re right. 🙂 **jarbabyj** : Eww! He’s German. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/6 "2001-07-19T19:39:40Z")
Stoid: Pornography is immoral and should be banned! jarbabyj: Watch your language, potty-mouth. manhattan: Michael Masterson is the best damned posted we ever had around here. heembo: I’m taking the moderators on an all-expenses-paid tour of the Middle East. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/7 "2001-07-19T19:45:39Z")
Fenris: Come on folks. This is no laughing matter. Ma Parrot: Boy, I’m really pleased with how the board’s been going ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/8 "2001-07-19T19:49:17Z")
John Corrado: &%#!!! &^% you \*#&^% get &%^%&^#!!! Spider Woman: I HATE you, get out. Euty: I know a homeless woman, but I am not going to help her or her 5 kids. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/9 "2001-07-19T19:57:45Z")
Ukelele Ike: Dude! Did anybody catch WWF last night? It RULED! Eve: _See_ it? I wrote an ARTICLE on it! hardygrrl: Hey, would you guys shut up already? Wrestling sucks. Scotticher: You’re all stupid pieces of shit. Leave me alone. I need a beer. Alphagene: Would everybody _please_ stop fighting? Can’t we all just get along? ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/10 "2001-07-19T20:00:17Z")
**Manservant Hecubus** : I love kittens! **Jarbaby** : Why, you goshdarned so-and-so. **Mnementh** : No, I do not wish to discuss my ass. [sub]hee![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/11 "2001-07-19T20:05:21Z")
Jeremey’s Evil Twin: I guess my biggest flaw is that I LOVE TOO MUCH. ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/12 "2001-07-19T20:26:49Z")
**DavidB** : Those fundamentalists are absolutely right! How could I have been so blind? **manhattan** : I’m glad you asked. Bong construction is actually very simple. The first thing you do is… **Milossarian** : This administration is a failure! I can’t wait until we throw that moron Bush out of office. **Stoid** : How can you say that, **Milo**? Bush is the greatest president we’ve ever had! **fatherjohn** : I apologize for not responding sooner, but I had to take my Suburban in to be serviced. You have made many interesting points, and I realize now that I was completely wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/13 "2001-07-19T20:27:04Z")
tiggeril: ENOUGH WITH THE GODDAMN BUNNIES ALREADY! JoeyHemlock: _LOVE_ you? Hell no, you guys suck. Doobieous: Man, body art sucks. Anyone know a good laser removal place? ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/14 "2001-07-19T20:33:16Z")
**Tequila Mockingbird** : No, I’ve never done that. I don’t think it’s even _possible_. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/15 "2001-07-19T20:38:36Z")
**JDT** : I’ve converted to Judaism! The mohel comes on Thursday! ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/16 "2001-07-19T21:14:46Z")
My last post of the day, names shortened to save time, cut me some slack. Uncle Ike: I’d rather be in Dixie Land. Eve: I’ve met Mr. Right. I’m getting married next week. Persphone: Get A Life! Esprix: I’d rather not discuss gay issues if you please. Zette: I have absolutely nothing to say on the matter. Hama: Let’s start a flirt club! I’m the president. Crunchy Frog: I hate newbies. Shirley Ujest: I never shop at thrift stores. Manny: I’m going to a anger control class. Euty: Sex is way way over rated. hardygrl: I’m having a sleep-over and Hama is the guest of honor. Purplebear: You guys really suck. OpalCat: I’ve converted to Christianity. Ex-tank: Ban all guns immediately. Fenris: I don’t have an opinion on that. Anthracite: I feel really good about myself. Grace: Piss off. Shayna: It’s just a message board. aha: No more sucking up. Lynn: Of course you can screw up the boards, let me help. Alphagene: Let me ask Lynn. Uncle Beer: Lite beer please. Coldy: Never touch the stuff myself. Libetarian: I’m going Democrat. Falcon: Men are such morons. racinchick: NASCAR is for red-necks. Dire Wolf: Women? Who needs them. More later. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@SeaDiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDiver)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/17 "2001-07-19T21:31:10Z")
**Doobieous:** What the hell is Tagalog? **Rasa:** Man, I’m calling in sick and blowing off work tomorrow. **zyzzyva:** It’s a whole five blocks away! Can’t we just drive there? ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/18 "2001-07-19T21:32:37Z")
Tygr: Woomun…good. You got real purty hair. Manservant Hecubus: I couldn’t agree more. Please, continue. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/19 "2001-07-19T21:32:56Z")
SeaDiver: Mr. Cynical, you’re SO DAMN SEXY. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/20 "2001-07-19T21:39:48Z")
matt\_mcl: If English was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me! moggy: Children give me such a headache. Can you imagine actually _wanting_ to be around them? Libertarian: Spirituality? Oh, please. What a bunch of hoo-ha. Cecil Adams: I don’t post here enough. Here are all the details of my personal life, and [click here](http://www.ipass.net/~whitetho/edcecil.htm) to see a picture of me! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089.md?page=2)