# More unlikely doper quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089 "2001-07-19T19:25:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/21 "2001-07-20T00:35:43Z")
[sub]This is fun…[/sub] **Matt\_Mcl** Linguistics and politics are fun, but for pure enjoyment,nothing beats makimg Pecan Mudslides. **Crunchy Frog** My virgin ears! I’m offended by you! How dare you mention testicles in my presence? **racinchikki** I’ve decided to start a Hello Kitty website. Forget Nascar. **Manservant Hecubus** I agree with everything you say. **Tygr** No, I can’t flirt. I want to get to know you better as a person **UncleBill** See Tygr **thinksnow** See Tygr and UncleBill **hardygrrl** I find Jeff Hardy unappealing, professional wrestling is boring, and I don’t worship at Stinky Paws’ altar. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/22 "2001-07-20T00:44:57Z")
Sadly… **GaWd** : Hey guys! I’m back! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/23 "2001-07-20T01:25:50Z")
**TubaDiva** : Ban him? Dear me, no! Let’s give his sock puppet another chance, shall we? **monster104** : Hey, **Esprix** - how _you_ doin’? 😉 **Doobieous** : Hey, **Esprix** - how _you_ doin’? 😉 **SPOOFE** : No, actually, I don’t have any plans to see _Star Wars: Episode II_, why? Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Odieman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a87d85/32.png) [@Odieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odieman)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/24 "2001-07-20T01:40:21Z")
Porcupine: Sex is evil and I would never engage in it. Zev Steinhart: Baseball is a boring and mindless sport. Saph: The Democrat’s rule Obfusciatrist: Zenster rocks! Matt McL: I feel sorry for poor Stockwell Day… Hamadryad: Hugs to everybody Scotti: The Mariner’s suck…and the Yankee’s rule. Dire Wolf: I beg to differ Scotti, the Mariners rule…and the Yankees suck. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/25 "2001-07-20T01:49:30Z")
**matt\_mcl** - I can’t stand the metro. I bought a car. **detop** - bloody Anglo! **Persephone** - don’t call me Al! **hardygrrl** - oh my gosh, that was awfully forward of you! **Feynn** - man, I’m so tired of talking about my family. Anybody wanna go to Chez Pierre? **Montfort** - I think Marillion is over-rated **Coldfire** - Neal Peart is a big turnip **Eve** - Please, no more film talk **Crunchy Frog** - Please, no more Monty Python **Tripler** - Guns? Can’t stand ‘em. Nah, I don’t feel like going to the bar tonight, I’d rather just hang out watching the food network. **Ginger** - So I got child support this month, and it’s actually the court-ordered amount! Boy, what a swell guy! **Gunslinger** and **racinchikki** - We’ve decided to wait until marriage, so a visit at this point would be counter-productive to our relationship. **Arden Ranger** - Who the hell is Claudia Christian? **Medea’s Child** - Will all of you shut the hell up and listen to me? Idiots. Can’t get a word in edgewise **Chief Scott** Damn, I can’t wait to get underway and away from all of the women in port. Especially the naked, horny ones. **Odieman** - Naw, I’m not goin’ to the Edmonton Dopefest. Feynn creeps me out. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/26 "2001-07-20T01:53:41Z")
**hardygrrl** - “It’s been a nice run, but I really think the Cubs will drop to third place by mid-September.” **SPOOFE** - “Star Wars is the most over-rated peice of crap I’ve ever had the displeasure to watch.” **heembo** - “I’ve decided to start this Coldfire appreciation thread for a number of reasons.” ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/27 "2001-07-20T02:03:55Z")
**Mnementh** : put that away ! you know I’m scared of knives ! **Eve** : grow up, get a computer ! You"re in the 21st century after all. **Scylla** : I just joined PETA. **Fenris** : I don’t get it, why moon and June ? **SexyWriter** : my landlady is so funny, she does that cute thing with her hand. **Anthracite** : do you think I have time to waste to tell you a story ? **Cecil Adams** : I didn’t know that. **Ginger** : being Vanadian sucks, I’m moving to the States ! **jarbabyj** : I’ve decided to take up needlepoint. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/28 "2001-07-20T02:32:19Z")
**Crunchy Frog** : Monty Python? What the hell is that? It sounds like a snake.\* **Stoid** : You %^)(#%^) )%^_$ )(%^)(_#%! Go to hell! **JDT** : Circumcision is a gift from God. **Opalcat** and **pldennison** : Be right back . . . gotta finish off that steak. **Scylla** (replying to above): veganism is a much healthier, eco-friendly option, you guys . . . **Fenris** : Enough with the damned song parodies! We know you think you’re smart! **David B** : I’m as born-again as Christians come. **ChiefScott** : :):):):)🙂 15 years of abstinence! I’m almost at my goal and I don’t want sex at all! **Falcon** : Army rules! **Weirddave** : Cecil said I’m not as Dave as I look, but I disagree. **aha** : you were in a band? What, couldn’t get a REAL job? **Maeglin** : I can’t decide, guys . . . should I go for the DSL and the Western Channel or a cable modem and this pile of Jet Li movies? **Arnold Winkelried** : Nah, he doesn’t exist. I just made up a stupid-sounding name. **Sofa King** : Sir, I promise thee I knoweth nothing about this “computer” device of which thou speakst. **Ed Zotti** : I was personally against the bannings of Melin, Satan, and Silo. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/29 "2001-07-20T02:39:51Z")
**wring** Y’all can just drop dead, for all I care. **Duck Duck Goose** What th’ _hell_ do you mean by “search engine”? “Google”? Who ever heard of a “Google”? **Zenster** : Hamburger Helper: mmm-mmm-good! **PLDennison** : Hamburger Helper made with ground veal: mmmm-mmm-good! **Scylla** : Soft, unblemished hands are a mark of character. And vegetarians have had a profound impact on my philosophy! **Mu Mu** I really like this board and the way it’s run. And I admire the hell out of the mods and the hard work they do! **Chief Scott** : 😃 🙂 😉 **SkooOo-guly** Fenris, I have _no_ repressed felings about your [penis](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=78182&pagenumber=2). **Cecil Adams** : I’ve got to stop posting so frequently! My fingers are getting tired. **Fenris** : I really resent all the kind, positive comments I’ve gotten. And I hate you all. Deeply. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/30 "2001-07-20T03:27:13Z")
Jack Batty: Soccer is for pansies. Zenster: I don’t post very much because I’m afraid of what people will think. slackergirl: Mmmm! Bananas! ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/31 "2001-07-20T04:33:59Z")
**Scylla** I’m not sure about this… ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/32 "2001-07-20T04:58:14Z")
**Libertarian** : Permisson? Ha! The government doesn’t need the people’s permission, it can do whatever the fuck it wants! **matt\_mcl** : I just don’t understand why those alternative party candidates even bother running for office. Do they really think they’re going to win? **Danielinthewolvesden** : Y’know, I just can’t say enough good things about **Ben**. He must be pals with Mother Teresa or something. **The Ryan** : Sure, my wording’s a little vague, but you know what I mean. **SPOOFE** : I _ **love** _ Jar Jar Binks! **Wildest Bill** : So, I’m thinking of applying to law school, but only because the police academy turned me down. **Ed Zotti** : Yeah, I’m Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![mdf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@mdf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mdf)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/33 "2001-07-20T05:26:18Z")
**racinchikki:** Real race cars can turn _left_, too. ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/34 "2001-07-20T07:26:29Z")
**Homer** : God, that’s sick. What do you think I am, kinky? **oldscratch** : God, that’s sick. What do you think I am, kinky? **SPOOFE** : God, that’s sick. What do you think I am, kinky? **Tzel** : God, that’s sick. What do you think I am, kinky? ---
**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/35 "2001-07-20T07:27:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*mdf \*\* > **racinchikki:** Real race cars can turn _left_, too. Uh, real race cars already do…alot. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Rhosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@Sir\_Rhosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Rhosis)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/36 "2001-07-20T08:23:25Z")
CalMeacham: “Actually, I’m not familiar with the obscure Science Fiction film/television series/novel/novella/novellette/short story/short-short that you mentioned.” or perhaps better: “Actually, I’m not well-versed in the Science Fiction genre.” Satan: “Can I bum a smoke?” Arden Ranger (since somebody stole my Claudia Christian one!!! :): “There’s no way I’m gonna try that, and why the hell do you keep typing GROWL for?” or “What does ‘rack’ mean, you pervert?!” or “Belinda Carlisle and Lucy Lawless do nothing for me, sorry.” lawoot: “I suck at obscure film trivia.” Rilchiam: “Yeah, I know what you mean, lawoot, I suck too. In fact, Mr Rilch said the same thing after complimenting me on my technique in giving b. . . oh, sorry, further bulletins as events warrant.” 🙂 Opal: Come over to FFF and check out the banners Sir Rhosis just made for me." RealityChuck: “Would someone mind critiquing a story for me that I just wrote?” Anamorphic: “Why the hell are thse black bars at the top and bottom of the picture?” Sir Rhosis ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/37 "2001-07-20T14:25:15Z")
**UncleBeer** I just don’t see why **anyone** should have a gun. **Wildest Bill** I heard something on the radio the other day, so I checked it out to see if it was true. **Fenris** I’m so tired of having to read & think & stuff, I jus’ wanna sit back and chew me somethin’ soft. **Scylla** Fenris is the funnier one, so his name should always go first. **magdalene** Flirting is such a waste of time. I think I’ll go do my multiple forwards of inspirational stories now instead. **kimstu** I don’t see the point in researching any position - you just should know in your heart that it’s true. **Spiritis Mundi** Just because you have facts and reason on your side doesn’t mean that you’re **right** **Zenster** Food is overated - just give me a protein shake and a bottle of vitamins and I’m good to go. **zev** Morals, scmorals, if it feels good, do it. **Persephone** I’m really a very private and serious person and would prefer not to discuss my feelings with anyone. **Stoid** I think people should only have [sub][sup]sexual relations [/sub][/sup] in the missionary position, after they’ve been married, one male one female only of course, and never, never discuss it. **Milo** My favorite charities include Greenpeace, the Democratic Party ('cause they only champion **rightous** people), and PETA. **Biggirl** you know, that **Autumn Wind Chick** has some good points (BWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH sorry, couldn’t get that one out w/o laughing)\> ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/38 "2001-07-20T14:28:59Z")
Even More… Arden Ranger-I didn’t bring the Jello Pit. Instead I brought cookies and milk so we have something to eat while we watch my BSB tape. Jarbaby- Such language. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? True Pisces- I hate you all and refuse to flirt. Scotticher- Enough about you and your problems, what about me? Euty- Please have more post parties. For any random number. Can’t get enough of them post parties. Crunchy Frog- The Cubs are going all the way this year. I see the error of my ways and as of this moment,am a diehard Cubs fan. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/39 "2001-07-20T14:40:23Z")
**Silo** : ANYTHING AT ALL. ---
**Author:** ![mdf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@mdf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mdf)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089/40 "2001-07-20T15:41:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by thinksnow \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\*mdf \*\* > > **racinchikki:** Real race cars can turn _left_, too. > > Uh, real race cars already do…alot. \*\* That was my point, as the imaginary quote comes from someone I perceive to be primarily a NASCAR/Latemodel kind of fan. Which is fine of course, I like 'em too, but the title of the thread is ‘More **unlikely** doper quotes’. Is my perception of 'chikki’s preferred form of motorsport wrong? -mdf [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-unlikely-doper-quotes/73089.md?page=3)