# More worthy of my bigoted contempt: Elves or Smurfs? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2015, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843 "2015-08-14T15:57:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/21 "2015-08-14T21:04:10Z")
Elves. Smurfs are annoying in many ways, but no Smurf ever pretended to be better than you while ignoring your problems and heading over the sea to their eternal paradise that you aren’t invited to. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2015, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/22 "2015-08-14T21:43:51Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Movie!Legolas deserves repeated punches in the kidneys until he apologizes for all his misdeeds, and NO, he will not be told what those misdeeds are, the fact that he doesn’t know just makes it worse. The fact that he’s spent more time making out with Keira Knightley than I have is all the reason I need. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/23 "2015-08-15T01:10:39Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The fact that he’s spent more time making out with Keira Knightley than I have is all the reason I need. I’ve offered you a 5% discount on a KK model hookerbot, man. Save your lunch money. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/24 "2015-08-15T02:26:07Z")
Elves – been around longer and more of them to hate. Having contempt for Smurfs is like having contempt for Tana Tuvians \ ---------- who really cares? ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/25 "2015-08-15T07:48:29Z")
Smurfs. Why are we even debating this? Little, blue, carolling, hyper, happy, trouble-making imps. Punt them into the sea! (Or wherever your hypotheticals may take you) ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/26 "2015-08-15T11:29:28Z")
> [@ddsun](#): > > Punt them into the sea! Nooo! If Smurfs are bad, Snorks are soooo much worse. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/27 "2015-08-15T12:58:48Z")
Meh, I like book Legolas. 🙂 But other than that, the elves (including Galadriel), can go to the sea (with the Snorks). I used to watch Snorks and Smurfs when I was a little kid. I preferred the Smurfs. And like said above, the Smurfs will try and be helpful (most of them, anyways), unlike the elves which will ignore your problems and go to their paradise. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/28 "2015-08-15T14:19:38Z")
If the plural form were Smurves rather than Smurfs, they would less contemptible than they really are. If it were Smerrows, even less so. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/29 "2015-08-15T14:53:28Z")
Oh, Bravo, **Spectre**. Bravo! ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/30 "2015-08-15T15:50:07Z")
Smurfs, those little blue bastards. Hate away. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/31 "2015-08-15T16:37:38Z")
> [@](#): > > "Elves, " grumbled Spam. “Now I’m not saying Sorhed is right, but I’m not a-saying he’s wrong, neither, if you get my drift.” > > “Shut up,” said Legolam gravely. Thus it is written in BOTR, and thus I believe. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/32 "2015-08-15T16:53:02Z")
> [@](#): > > More worthy of my bigoted contempt: Elves or Smurfs? I misread the title as : "More worthy of my bigoted contempt: **Elvis** or Smurfs? " If you **had** blasphemed against the King Of Rock & Roll, I would have had to kill you. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/33 "2015-08-15T16:53:54Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > I misread the title as : > > "More worthy of my bigoted contempt: **Elvis** or Smurfs? " > > If you **had** blasphemed against the King Of Rock & Roll, I would have had to kill you. Stop creating straw elves! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/34 "2015-08-15T20:07:53Z")
Smurfs are tiny, dumb, amusing only to children, very annoying and all one color. Elves are bigger, wise, good-looking, skilled in many things and long-lived. Why is this even a debate? All Smurfs must die. > [@teela\_brown](#): > > Did anyone else misread the thread title as: > > More worthy of my bigoted contempt: **Elvis** or Smurfs? Which reminds me: [Elvish Presley - Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/fN1MHOw.jpg) > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > The fact that he’s spent more time making out with Keira Knightley than I have is all the reason I need. You’ve got a point there. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/35 "2015-08-15T20:22:12Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Which reminds me: [Elvish Presley - Imgur](http://i.imgur.com/fN1MHOw.jpg) [The Shoemaker and the Elvises](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTPIPeCBzeY) ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/36 "2015-08-15T22:30:18Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Smurfs are tiny, dumb, amusing only to children, very annoying and all one color. Elves are bigger, wise, good-looking, skilled in many things and long-lived. Why is this even a debate? All Smurfs must die. Elroy Half-Smurven would disagree with statement. ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2015, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/37 "2015-08-15T22:53:19Z")
I remember reading one of those articles about how The Smurfs was about the evils of Capitalism as represented by The greedy Gargamel wanting to destroy the Smurfs peaceful, utopian Communist and/or socialist village and turn them into gold. The female elves are sexy so I’ll say hold the useless hippy smurfs in contempt and turn them into gold and melt them down. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/38 "2015-08-16T00:58:53Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Oh, Bravo, **Spectre**. Bravo! (Nods towards **MrDibble** in a magisterial yet not uncordial manner.) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2015, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/39 "2015-08-16T01:55:28Z")
> [@](#): > > Points against hating all Smurfs: > > ``` > They can be turned into gold with the proper alchemical training. > Also pies, though thta requires baking rather than alchemy. > They're only three apples high and thus as easy to ignore as to step on. > > ``` All of those seem perfectly consistent with hating them, to me. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2015, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843/40 "2015-08-17T04:24:08Z")
Smurfs are easier to hate - there are no “half-smurfs” (to the best of my crystal ball’s knowledge). But if you go the elves route then you have to deal with the whole impure bloodline problem. How much elf is too much to bear?\* - I know, I know, it’s 1/16th, but there will be people who question that determination. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-worthy-of-my-bigoted-contempt-elves-or-smurfs/727843.md?page=3)