# More zero-tolerance BS in schools **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 9, 2006, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094 "2006-05-09T18:14:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/21 "2006-05-09T20:33:45Z")
Yeah. Meanwhile: [tune=Clementine] Build a bonfire, build a bonfire, put the teachers on the top, Put the prefects in the middle, and burn the [censored] lot! [/tune] And: Glory, glory hallelujah, Teacher hit me with a ruler, So I bonked her on the bean with a rotten tangerine And her teeth came marching out! (left, right) ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/22 "2006-05-09T20:39:25Z")
> [@magellan01](#): > > Tied to that, this wasn’t a six-year-old. Someone in 9th grade, as we have unfortunately learned, is someone who may actually seek to carry out some deranged fantasy. Y’know, you have a point. I got up on my high horse of indignation and missed that little fact! These songs and acts are funny from little kids testing boundaries. But high schoolers really should be a bit more mature and aware that in this day too many distrubed students have turned their fantasies into reality. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/23 "2006-05-09T20:43:38Z")
> [@Maus Magill](#): > > On top of spaghetti > All covered with sand, > I shot my poor teacher > With a red rubber band. > > I couldn’t have missed her. > She’s a hundred feet wide. > [something-something] died. > > I went to her funeral. > I went to her grave. > Some people threw flowers. > I threw a grenade. No, no, no! It’s On top of Old Smokey All covered with with blood I shot my poor teacher With a .44 slug I went to her funeral. I went to her grave. Some people threw flowers. I threw a grenade. The next day She wasn’t quite dead So I took a bazooka And blew off her head. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/24 "2006-05-09T20:45:05Z")
[Dug this up.](http://www.macon.com/mld/macon/news/politics/14536077.htm) “School administrators also told Beth Anne Cox they would revoke her permissive transfer, which means she would not be able to return to the school next year. Her parents said they had requested she go there rather than North Gwinnett High School, which two of her older brothers attended. Another one of her brothers is now a senior at Peachtree Ridge.” Sounds like the teacher has his reasons. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/25 "2006-05-09T20:47:25Z")
She would have been in 2nd grade when Columbine happened. Make of that what you will. ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/26 "2006-05-09T21:04:16Z")
And: Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school. We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule. We ransacked all the classrooms in the dirty rotten school. And we don’t have to study anymore! Chorus Glory, glory hallelujah Teacher hit me with a ruler I opened up the door with a Colt 44 And there ain’t no teacher anymore ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/27 "2006-05-09T21:11:54Z")
Christ on a cracker, did anyone actually read the article? “On top of Ol’ Smokey, all covered with blood, I shot my poor teacher with a .44 slug.” Back in my day (and I graduated from high school in 2003) you didn’t fucking tell your techers that you were going to shoot them with a .44 slug to their face and expect \*not \* to get suspended. This disceplenary action is fine by me, the Cox’s can come up with whatever rationalizations for the fact that their daughter was out of line that they want. ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/28 "2006-05-09T22:45:13Z")
> [@kingpengvin](#): > > Now for a trip down memory lane: > > We used to sing > > Row Row Row your boat > Gently down the stream > Push the teacher overboard and listen to her Scream. And from that we immediately went into: Eight days later, floatin’ down the Delaware, Chewin’ on her underwear, Couldn’t afford another pair! Ten days later, eaten by a polar bear, That’s why the polar bear died! If the teacher’s version is indeed the correct one, I have no problem with suspending the little brat. If she’s the type of person who would get up in a teacher’s face and start singing that particular little tune, then 10 will get you 20 she’s been sporting a rude and disrespectful attitude all year. If the kid’s version is the correct one then the teacher needs smacked. Somehow, though, I have a hard time believing this teacher has enough spare time and motivation to engage in a “vendetta” against one particular 16 year old. Whenever I hear a parent say, “Oh, the teacher has it in for my kid!” my first thought is usually, “Your kid’s a brat and you’re a moron.” Usually, though, in those cases I’ve met the kids and know for a fact the kid’s a brat; in this case I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/29 "2006-05-09T22:49:49Z")
> [@threemae](#): > > Christ on a cracker, did anyone actually read the article? > > “On top of Ol’ Smokey, all covered with blood, I shot my poor teacher with a .44 slug.” > > Back in my day (and I graduated from high school in 2003) you didn’t fucking tell your techers that you were going to shoot them with a .44 slug to their face and expect \*not \* to get suspended. If that’s what she did. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/30 "2006-05-09T23:05:45Z")
That’s what the teacher said she did. Of course, Ms. Cox has her own rather unbeliveable story about how she was singing a tune and the teacher began to demand the lyrics, but between the teacher and kids I’ll give an edge to the teacher. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/31 "2006-05-09T23:14:07Z")
> [@sinjin](#): > > And: > > Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school. > We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule. > We ransacked all the classrooms in the dirty rotten school. > And we don’t have to study anymore! > > Chorus > > Glory, glory hallelujah > Teacher hit me with a ruler > I opened up the door with a Colt 44 > And there ain’t no teacher anymore The version I knew was: Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school. We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule. And tomorrow, after school we’re gonna hang the principal His truth is marching on. (Why this line wasn’t changed I have no idea…) Glory, glory hallejulah Teacher hit me with a ruler I met her after school with my loaded 44 And she ain’t my teacher any more ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/32 "2006-05-09T23:25:12Z")
> [@threemae](#): > > Back in my day (and I graduated from high school in 2003) you didn’t fucking tell your techers that you were going to shoot them with a .44 slug to their face and expect not to get suspended. She didn’t tell her teacher any such thing, she was just singing one of the age old bits of anti-teacher doggeral verse that kids have sung since time immemorial. I sang that same song 30 years ago when I was a kid. Only a fucking moron would think it was a “threat.” ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/33 "2006-05-09T23:31:22Z")
> [@Kat](#): > > The version I knew was: > Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school. > We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule. > And tomorrow, after school we’re gonna hang the principal > His truth is marching on. (Why this line wasn’t changed I have no idea…) > > Glory, glory hallejulah > Teacher hit me with a ruler > I met her after school with my loaded 44 > And she ain’t my teacher any more No no no. It’s: > [@](#): > > …we have broken every rule > We have turned the lavatories into private swimming pools > Our truth goes marching on > > Glory, glory hallejulah > Teacher hit me with a ruler > Met her at the door with a loaded .44 > Now she don’t teach no more. And I believe the teacher that the kid did this. When Iwas a kid, you’d get suspended for that. Where do they get the idea you can address a teacher with anywhere near that kind of disrespect? ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/34 "2006-05-09T23:53:09Z")
I literally would have been suspended in the third grade because I remember singing that exact same song in 1975 in the schoolyard (and it wasn’t new then- my brother and sister both knew it and they’re 6 & 7 years older than I am). The daughter of a friend of mine wrote an entire [book](http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0874834236/sr=1-1/qid=1147218648/ref=sr_1_1/102-5408454-2383309?%5Fencoding=UTF8) (of an academic rather than popular nature) on these songs and rhymes; the On Top of Ol’ Smokey one is the least of it. I guess _Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts_ would get you arrested for championing vivisection- after all, kids who sing songs about cruelty to animals often grow up to sing songs about serial killers. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/35 "2006-05-10T00:22:01Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > What would they do if someone started playing Alice Cooper’s _School’s Out_ ? Or Weird Al’s _It’s Christmas at Ground Zero_ ? “Schoolchildren arrested for nuclear terrorism ! !” ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/36 "2006-05-10T00:22:24Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > She didn’t tell her teacher any such thing, she was just singing one of the age old bits of anti-teacher doggeral verse that kids have sung since time immemorial. I sang that same song 30 years ago when I was a kid. Only a fucking moron would think it was a “threat.” I think only a fucking moron would think this was at all funny in 9th grade. I thought I was a rube, and I was way past this crap by then. Shouldn’t she be smoking, or petting heavily at her age? Maybe someone should tell her that if she puts the car in neutral, her dad won’t hear her roll out of the driveway. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/37 "2006-05-10T00:22:56Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > And I believe the teacher that the kid did this. When Iwas a kid, you’d get suspended for that. Where do they get the idea you can address a teacher with anywhere near that kind of disrespect? I’m not saying she shouldn’t be punished if things happened as the teacher described them. I just think that five days’ suspension and describing what she did as a “threat” is excessive. And I’m bemoaning post-Columbine paranoia, where a silly anti-teacher song can be taken seriously as a threat. ---
**Author:** ![ScoobyTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@ScoobyTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScoobyTX)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/38 "2006-05-10T01:16:33Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > I think only a fucking moron would think this was at all funny in 9th grade. Not 9th grade, 11th grade. A 16 year old junior. 16 years old, as in old enough to usually be “tried as an adult.” Of course, it is a public school. Could there be some social promotions? She might be an honest to goodness [moron](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moron_%28psychology%29) in the old-school psychological sense. Mental age of 8 to 12 sounds about right. I can’t think of any more examples of songs sung in 4th grade. My funny bone might still be tickled by fart and poopoo humor, but I grew out of the “Met her at the door with a loaded .44 and she ain’t my teacher no more” by the time my odometer rolled over to two digits. At 16, my tastes for teacher disrespect ran more to the straight “Fuck you!” (I know. Very clever.)- which only drew detention for insubordination, not suspension/ expulsion for making a threat. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/39 "2006-05-10T04:00:08Z")
OK, now I understand why my sister homeschools instead of sending her kids to Northern Georgia schools. She told me she didn’t like them. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094/40 "2006-05-10T04:08:17Z")
> [@Kat](#): > > Glory, glory hallejulah > Teacher hit me with a ruler > I met her after school with my loaded 44 > And she ain’t my teacher any more And the north-of-Boston-suburban version: Glory, glory hallelujah Teacher hit me with a ruler Bopped her off the bean With a rotten tangerine The rats go marching on! Hilarious for a grade-schooler. Definitely should’ve been outgrown by age 16. (Although I still consider “Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts” a masterpiece.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/more-zero-tolerance-bs-in-schools/356094.md?page=3)