# Moron on the News **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 19, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683 "2010-04-19T23:22:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/1 "2010-04-19T23:22:19Z")
I have no idea what your name is, but you are ranting about needing to deliver aircraft to Spain from where they are in the Frozen North [Canada … brrrr] You know, you dumb ass, you can fly the aircraft SOUTH and then fly East over the ocean to this strange exotic continent called AFRICA and then swing back North to Spain. I just randomly wandered over to a weather website and checked where the ash cloud is right now, and so far that path looks like it would actually work right now. I know I probably shouldn’t listen to the news on TV because the morons generally piss me off because they show all the common sens of aspergillium niger. ---
**Author:** ![Rand\_Rover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/db5fbb/32.png) [@Rand\_Rover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rand_Rover)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/2 "2010-04-19T23:29:55Z")
Hey smart guy, here are a couple of things you didn’t think about: 1. You can’t just call up Egypt (or wherever) and say “Yo, coming in for a landing, be there in a couple of minutes!” There are protocols and procedures and whateverthehell. 2. Even if they can be delivered using the more southerly route, it will be more expensive, which is what the airplane guy quoted by the news guy may really have been pissed about. 3. The ash cloud is predicted to move its ash to squat near Canada here pretty soon, which could cut off all routes from this guy’s point of departure. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2010, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/3 "2010-04-19T23:52:26Z")
The plane in question may not have had the range for a different route. My dad used to work for a regional airline in the midwest that bought a bunch of planes made in England. Every few weeks he’d go there to pick up a brand new airplane and fly it back. They flew from England to Iceland and spent the night, and then to Gander, Newfoundland. The Iceland-to-Canada leg was stretching it for that airplane; if the headwinds picked up, they’d have to refuel at a place in Greenland. That’s why they overnighted in Iceland; the landing fee in Greenland was very expensive if you were past curfew and woke everybody up. Flying planes across oceans is not a trivial thing. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/4 "2010-04-20T00:10:42Z")
An indirect route takes longer and costs more. I’d probably be griping about that, too. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/5 "2010-04-20T02:25:33Z")
Use your brain, morans! ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/6 "2010-04-20T02:29:53Z")
This just in: Water is wet! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Surb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Surb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Surb)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/7 "2010-04-20T02:44:27Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > aspergillium niger. Racist! ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/8 "2010-04-20T03:16:37Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Use your brain, morans! Erin Moran? > **[Erin Moran](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erin_Moran)** > > Erin Marie Moran-Fleischmann (October 18, 1960 – April 22, 2017) was an American actress, best known for playing Joanie Cunningham on the television sitcom Happy Days and its spin-off Joanie Loves Chachi. > Erin Marie Moran was born on October 18, 1960, in Burbank, California, near Los Angeles, and raised in nearby North Hollywood. She was the second-youngest of six children born to Sharon and Edward Moran. Her father was a finance manager, and her interest in acting was supported by her mother,... ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/9 "2010-04-20T03:31:58Z")
> [@ghardester](#): > > Erin Moran? [Get a brain!](http://www.internetlovechild.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/morans1.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/10 "2010-04-20T04:11:58Z")
> [@Rand\_Rover](#): > > Hey smart guy, here are a couple of things you didn’t think about: > > … > > 1. The ash cloud is predicted to move its ash to squat near Canada here pretty soon, which could cut off all routes from this guy’s point of departure. > [@](#): > > The cloud brushed up against Canada’s eastern seaboard on Monday, but Environment Canada said it was diffuse, moving slowly and should not affect Canadian airports. [European flights resume, new ash cloud on horizon April 19, 2010 8:30 PM](http://www.vancouversun.com/technology/European+flights+resume+cloud+horizon/2926681/story.html) But hey, don’t let factual information get in the way of your ranting - it’s never stopped you before. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/11 "2010-04-20T06:47:35Z")
Sorry, thought that this thread would be about Richard Quest. I’ll just keep moving. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/12 "2010-04-20T10:49:18Z")
I’m a little puzzled. Where in Canada is this guy coming from? The ash plume is currently from Iceland to Great Britain, right? Ten minutes with a [great circle mapper](http://andrew-gray.com/dist/) shows that you can go from Montreal to Madrid and not go anywhere near the cloud. Maybe Yellowknife to Madrid gets too close for comfort, but you could always go Yellowknife to Montreal, restock on aircraft fuel, coffee, and English muffins, and then go from Montreal to Madrid, right? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/13 "2010-04-20T10:55:48Z")
I thought this was going to be about Rick [“Iceland is too cold for a volcano”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laptaCg0BHA) Sanchez. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/14 "2010-04-20T11:48:14Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > \but you could always go Yellowknife to Montreal, restock on aircraft fuel, coffee, and **English muffins** , and then go from Montreal to Madrid, right? (bolding mine) _Montreal bagels_ if you please !😛 ---
**Author:** ![gang\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f07891/32.png) [@gang\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gang_green)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/15 "2010-04-20T12:43:18Z")
> [@detop](#): > > (bolding mine) > > _Montreal bagels_ if you please !😛 No, no. _Timbits_. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/16 "2010-04-20T13:50:10Z")
That’s great to think that one could just hop a plane from somewhere in Africa to somewhere in Europe. I’ve got a whole bunch of coworkers stuck in Rwanda exactly because this can’t be done. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/17 "2010-04-20T15:40:15Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I thought this was going to be about Rick [“Iceland is too cold for a volcano”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laptaCg0BHA) Sanchez. Yeah, at first I thought they were saying “giant assclown” too. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/18 "2010-04-20T17:31:38Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > That’s great to think that one could just hop a plane from somewhere in Africa to somewhere in Europe. I’ve got a whole bunch of coworkers stuck in Rwanda exactly because this can’t be done. Reality has never been an impediment to stupidity. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moron-on-the-news/536683/19 "2010-04-21T02:20:13Z")
> [@detop](#): > > (bolding mine) > > _Montreal bagels_ if you please !😛 Deal! I’ll bring the cream cheese. > [@tdn](#): > > I’ve got a whole bunch of coworkers stuck in Rwanda exactly because this can’t be done. Little-known historical fact: Rwanda was named after Anaïs Rwanda, philanthropist and inventor of the round waffle. Her father was a consular official, assigned to the region shortly after World War I. Having been raised in a sheltered, upper-class Belgian home, young Anaïs was shocked by the poverty of the local people, and even as a teenager, worked tirelessly to promote disease prevention and better farming methods. She grew up to marry Howard Hughes, but even though she was no longer in the country, she never forgot the Rwandan people and was instrumental in providing aircraft for emergency food distribution, as well as insecticide spraying to control malaria. An old woman, still adored by Hutu and Tutsi alike, and happily remarried to a former U.S. Secretary of State, she’s Mrs. Rwanda Hughes Kissinger now.