# Moronic Cops **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 23, 2009, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444 "2009-03-23T10:03:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/201 "2009-04-17T18:17:02Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > Can you get a photo? I’d like to see that. > > (The monkeys that is.) Would you settle for monkeys flying out of Kathleen Robertson’s bust? ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/202 "2009-04-17T19:27:18Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > I am still a better driver than anyone on this board, drunk or sober. This is simply a ridiculous statement. There is no possible way for you tell how any of us drive. And no one is a good driver while drunk. You are a criminal when driving drunk. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/203 "2009-04-17T20:00:00Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > Would you settle for monkeys flying out of Kathleen Robertson’s bust? Would you believe that my first name is “Kathleen?” ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/204 "2009-04-17T20:07:34Z")
Is it too much to hope that Stan’s next encounter with the cops will be televised and narrated by John Bunnell? “This fine citizen may be feeling no pain because he’s drunk, but the taser stops him all the same. He’ll have plenty of time to get over his shock… _in jail!_” ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/205 "2009-04-17T20:29:14Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > What is scary to me is that apparently there are a lot of people on the board, supposedly smart people, opinion makers, that believe that our current gendarme are a bunch of honest people, and that the laws they enforce are logical and just, and then these idiots go out and vote. Scary. > > Stand up for your rights. You’re misinterpreting. People on this board are all too well aware that there are asshole cops out there. They simply believe that in this instance it was the cop who encountered the asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/206 "2009-04-17T20:32:58Z")
[This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osO7FgcQk_k) is probably how **Stan** handles his usual stops. And **Stan** , the fact that I have a perfectly clean driving record is absolute proof that I am a better driver than you. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/207 "2009-04-17T20:41:00Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Burbank, CA cops are liars and suck ass. Doesn’t surprise me. FWIW, about seven years ago I saw Glendale’s Chief of Police walk into a building in Simi Valley and go into a closed-door meeting with two black cocaine dealers from Oakland who were connected to Death Row Records, and according to one person I talked to, directly to Suge Knight himself. I have a lot of other dirt on the guy, too. He’s a walking piece of shit. It wouldn’t surprise me if his long arm of corruption extends into Burbank too. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/208 "2009-04-17T23:47:38Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > [This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osO7FgcQk_k) is probably how **Stan** handles his usual stops. Ah. Maine. My home sweet home. Fuck, I know about 20 people who could be that guy. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2009, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/209 "2009-04-17T23:48:41Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > Doesn’t surprise me. FWIW, about seven years ago I saw Glendale’s Chief of Police walk into a building in Simi Valley and go into a closed-door meeting with two black cocaine dealers from Oakland who were connected to Death Row Records, and according to one person I talked to, directly to Suge Knight himself. I have a lot of other dirt on the guy, too. He’s a walking piece of shit. It wouldn’t surprise me if his long arm of corruption extends into Burbank too. Yes. But is he Armenian? ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/210 "2009-04-18T00:32:24Z")
No. I would renounce my heritage if he were. It’s rare to find a dishonest Armenian. I’ve been told that he’s hated by his employees in Glendale, just as he was hated by his employees in Simi Valley, just as he was hated when he worked in Ventura. I doubt very much that the Armenian members of the Glendale PD think too highly of him. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/211 "2009-04-18T01:38:36Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > [This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osO7FgcQk_k) is probably how **Stan** handles his usual stops. > > And **Stan** , the fact that I have a perfectly clean driving record is absolute proof that I am a better driver than you. > > Just saying. Oh god, that’s AWESOME. (I love how the cop is just so calm and matter-of-fact. Makes the guy look like even more of a nutjob!) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/212 "2009-04-18T03:15:42Z")
Oh boy, another claimant to the BEST DRIVER IN THE WORLD title. After all, 95% of all drivers rate themselves to be above average so to be better than that means you are better than better than super-mega-above-average!!! Seriously, the troll here reminds me of ‘Mark Discordia’ of Seanbaby fame. Look it up. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/213 "2009-04-18T05:57:18Z")
> [@Washoe](#): > > It’s rare to find a dishonest Armenian. Interesting. I checked the net to find more on this nation of paragons but strangely I see that crime statistics there are no better than most nations and worse than many. Perhaps you meant Armenian-Americans. OK, let’s take one particular location and one particular sort of crime - organized crime. > [@](#): > > In Glendale and Hollywood, officials estimate, there are more than 450 Armenian-American crime members and associates. [Link](http://www.sicilianculture.com/news/lamobsters.htm) OK, that’s out of 300,000 Armenian-Americans in LA County, but that’s just organized crime. My guess is that you’ll find roughly the same percentage of dishonest Armenians as of any other nationality on Earth. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/214 "2009-04-18T05:57:37Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > You’re misinterpreting. People on this board are all too well aware that there are asshole cops out there. They simply believe that in this instance it was the cop who encountered the asshole. We have a dead Asshole on the landing…what do we do…why…call the Asshole Police of course. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2009, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/215 "2009-04-18T05:59:46Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > We have a dead Asshole on the landing…what do we do…why…call the Asshole Police of course. How do you know which precinct he’s from? Tattooed on the back of his neck! ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2009, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/216 "2009-04-20T05:14:05Z")
Stan is still absolutely right. Burbank cops are uneducated, barely passing the GED exam fuckheads. I’m guessing Linty Fresh might be one of them. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/217 "2009-04-20T05:21:55Z")
Lemme guess-this is the one who stopped you because you were slamming down on your horn to drown out some stupid street preacher? Color me unimpressed. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2009, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/218 "2009-04-20T09:06:11Z")
It’s pretty simple. Why don’t you apply for a [job](http://www.bpdrecruitment.com/) there? You can raise the level of professionalism to your high standards. The salary tops off at $116k\*. \*Not completely accurate since it seems they add in the cost of some of the benefits but still a pretty good salary. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/219 "2009-04-21T11:22:28Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > The OP has more issues than Reader’s Digest. Have you seen [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=501641) and/or [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=501362)? Just read your links,and have come to the conclusion that the O.P. really should post under the name **WalterMitty**. ---
**Author:** ![Baldwin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baldwin/32/7264_2.png) [@Baldwin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baldwin)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2009, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/220 "2009-04-21T12:19:42Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > I keep no secrets from my friends. Everyone knows that I imbibe, I just don’t hang with the uptight. I am still a better driver than anyone on this board, drunk or sober. Do you have any idea how pathetic you sound when you spout this bullshit? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444.md?page=12)