# Moronic Cops **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 23, 2009, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444 "2009-03-23T10:03:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/121 "2009-04-15T17:55:02Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > you’re the kind of guy who likes to boast about how he forced the cop to leave him alone when nothing was going to happen in the first place Well, we will never know. If I had rolled over, I might have paid an unjust price. If people don’t stand up for their rights, we may all pay the price. Policemen need to know that they have to play by the rules. After all, that is what they are always asking of us. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/122 "2009-04-15T18:02:16Z")
I think I’ve identified some sort of syndrome. I’m not entirely sure what it is just yet, and I doubt I’ll want it named after me, but I find it odd how, compared to the rest of society, **Stan Schmenge** has run-ins with asshole cops at about the same ratio that \*\*curcoat \*\*has run-ins [“heathen children.”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=512715&page=20) I’m just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/123 "2009-04-15T18:05:56Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I think I’ve identified some sort of syndrome. I’m not entirely sure what it is just yet, and I doubt I’ll want it named after me, but I find it odd how, compared to the rest of society, **Stan Schmenge** has run-ins with asshole cops at about the same ratio that \*\*curcoat \*\*has run-ins [“heathen children.”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=512715&page=20) > > I’m just sayin’. Well, except for my godchild, I hate all children too, especially yours! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/124 "2009-04-15T18:09:43Z")
Gee. What a shocker. Actually, I think I’ve come up with a good name for the syndrome. I’ll call it **The Stan Schmenge Can Gargle My Nutsack Syndrome.** I think it rolls trippingly off the tongue. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/125 "2009-04-15T18:14:51Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > Gee. What a shocker. > Actually, I think I’ve come up with a good name for the syndrome. I’ll call it **The Stan Schmenge Can Gargle My Nutsack Syndrome.** I think it rolls trippingly off the tongue. Well, I have no problem with your children, as long as you keep them in McDonald’s, where they belong. The classy restaurants I eat in here in LA, will politely tell you that your pussy turds are not allowed. Enjoy your McNuggets. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/126 "2009-04-15T18:19:24Z")
Pussy turds? You aren’t that familiar with vaginas, are you? ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/127 "2009-04-15T18:20:11Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > One of these things, is not like the other. One of us gets pulled over enough to whine on the dope. One of us does not. You think it correlates to “All cops are assholes”, or “old vehicles”, or “beards”, yet I have all these things and I never get pulled over. I propose you drive like a dick, and I do not (hint–driving at or below the posted speed limit on most non-residential roadways IS being a dick.), and my observation is actually borne out by the number of times we’ve each had run-ins with the cops. In closing, eat me and go to jury duty, you whining slacker, after you thank a cop for putting his ass on the line for your lazy ass. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/128 "2009-04-15T18:22:58Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I don’t drive much these days, but even when I drove eight and ten and fifteen-year-old trucks, the po-po never pulled me over. I must be a secret Armenian. Shit, you too? So far we’ve got 2003 Neons (my current ride) and beater trucks (before this, I drove an '83 Ram) as the cars of privileged cop avoidance. Maybe it’s the fact that when I drove a conversion van it was less than five years old–maybe it has to be an old conversion van. Do you think that’s it? ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/129 "2009-04-15T18:23:26Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > The classy restaurants I eat in here in LA, will politely tell you that your pussy turds are not allowed. Maybe if you quit eating at classy restaurants, you could afford a newer car that wouldn’t get you pulled over all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/130 "2009-04-15T18:24:30Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > And I notice the babbling morons in here have shut the fuck up about what it means to go through a “questionable yellow” now that I have cited chapter and verse from the vehicle code. Vehicle code, schmeicle code. If you drive a conversion van through a yellow you could stop at, you’re a bad driver anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/131 "2009-04-15T18:27:38Z")
> **[Dysfunction](https://despair.com/collections/retired/products/dysfunction)** > > The only consistent feature of all of your dissatisfying relationships is you. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/132 "2009-04-15T18:28:45Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > One of us gets pulled over enough to whine on the dope. One of us does not. You think it correlates to “All cops are assholes”, or “old vehicles”, or “beards”, yet I have all these things and I never get pulled over. I propose you drive like a dick, and I do not (hint–driving at or below the posted speed limit on most non-residential roadways IS being a dick.), and my observation is actually borne out by the number of times we’ve each had run-ins with the cops. > > In closing, eat me and go to jury duty, you whining slacker, after you thank a cop for putting his ass on the line for your lazy ass. No, not run ins. FAIL on the part of cops. Wasting time on a law abiding guy like me. Forced to eat their own lying words. Of course not all cops are assholes, but enough of them are to give them all a bad name. As far as driving below the speed limit, that is usually on local streets. On the highway I drive the speed limit, which is enough to get you rear-ended. I stay in the right lane, and am courteous to other motorists. It saves me gas, for one thing. Run ins with the cops? That is their choice. And the they never win. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/133 "2009-04-15T18:29:18Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > I do have something to complain about. There was never any probable cause to pull me over Is probable cause necessary for a cop to pull someone over? > [@](#): > > and the coppers lied to me and made up stories about things I did not do. They’re out to get you, I know. > [@](#): > > Or perhaps you think the cops should be able to just pull over anyone on false pretenses, and as long as no citation is issued (because the cop realized the citizen wouldn’t take their shit), no harm, no foul. Your story doesn’t make sense: if the cops were really that bad, why would they care if you call them on their shit? A more likely explanation is that they pulled you over and found there wasn’t a problem. That you get to be an ass about it and then brag about your heroism online is a bonus for you. > [@](#): > > You sicken me. You remind of the self-proclaimed hero teenagers I knew when I was a teenager. I didn’t like these people at the time because they were immature, and experience hasn’t changed my mind. You’ll notice I said a couple of times that you’ve had some legitimately bad experiences that were not your fault, but I sicken you because I don’t believe every detail of your highway gulag archipelago/dead man walking yarns. > [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > The cops intentionally came close to causing a TC, with the pure intent of making me do something I wouldn’t ordinarily do. I forgot about your go-kart expertise, which makes you the world’s greatest driver. Regardless I don’t believe the cop was persecuting you and trying to force you into a violation. If he was, why didn’t he give you the ticket? > [@](#): > > Do you even know what entrapment is? Yes. > [@](#): > > They let you moderate? Ok fine. Did you say “Ok fine” because you remembered that I’m not a law enforcement official? 😛 > [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Well, we will never know. I have every confidence that you’ll find yourself in another one of these situations sooner or later. > [@](#): > > If people don’t stand up for their rights, we may all pay the price. I agree, but I also don’t believe you’re the Nelson Mandela + Tom Joad + Malcolm X of the highway. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/134 "2009-04-15T18:30:45Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Vehicle code, schmeicle code. If you drive a conversion van through a yellow you could stop at, you’re a bad driver anyway. The light went yellow just as I entered the intersection. I had no chance to stop. Where did you get that impression? ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/135 "2009-04-15T18:36:48Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Is probable cause necessary for a cop to pull someone over? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. [http://lmgtfy.com/?q=probable+cause](http://lmgtfy.com/?q=probable+cause) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/136 "2009-04-15T18:40:49Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > Shit, you too? So far we’ve got 2003 Neons (my current ride) and beater trucks (before this, I drove an '83 Ram) as the cars of privileged cop avoidance. I drove early '90s Grand Am and early '90s Expedition, I think. And I’ve got a beard, too. Go figure. Or as they say in the old country, ներոոոողություն! ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/137 "2009-04-15T18:42:26Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Ok. Once again the republic is safe- now if only you could prove the cops were lying and trying to keep you down. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/138 "2009-04-15T18:45:03Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I drove early '90s Grand Am and early '90s Expedition, I think. And I’ve got a beard, too. Go figure. Or as they say in the old country, ներոոոողություն! And so, aside from knowing nothing about the constitution, you have incredibly shitty taste in cars. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/139 "2009-04-15T18:47:01Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Ok. Once again the republic is safe- now if only you could prove the cops were lying and trying to keep you down. The cops can’t keep me down. They have about as much chance as you do. I am not bitter about the cops, I gleefully make fun of their dumb asses. I win every time. All I am trying to do is enlighten others. Stand up for your rights. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/140 "2009-04-15T18:49:52Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > And so, aside from knowing nothing about the constitution, you have incredibly shitty taste in cars. That’s what happens when you have to drive family hand-me-downs. It’s a pity we can’t all drive sexy conversion vans like you do. I bet it makes the Armenian chicks weak in the knees. But yes, I do know a bit about the Constitution. Your years of being the world’s greatest driver (who for some reason is constantly getting pulled over) have taught you a little more about the rules of the road. > [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > They have about as much chance as you do. I’m trying to keep you down by partially agreeing with you? > [@](#): > > I win every time. ::Cues up the brass band.:: > [@](#): > > All I am trying to do is enlighten others. Try harder. Right now we’re mostly getting a big dose of your ego. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444.md?page=8)