# Moronic Cops **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 23, 2009, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444 "2009-03-23T10:03:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/141 "2009-04-15T18:52:12Z")
And just to piss everybody on this wussy board off, I have driven more miles drunk off my ass than any of you pussies have sober. I have been pulled over by coppers when I was drunk off my ass and they didn’t have shit to say. I am a better driver than you, under any circumstances! Get a life, and this goes double for mods. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/142 "2009-04-15T18:57:12Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > And just to piss everybody on this wussy board off, I have driven more miles drunk off my ass than any of you pussies have sober. I have been pulled over by coppers when I was drunk off my ass and they didn’t have shit to say. I am a better driver than you, under any circumstances! Get a life, and this goes double for mods. So, whiny asshole who drives like a dick. Right. Pretty much what I said the first time. Get a life, go to jury duty, thank a cop, AND stop drinking. Frankly, for admitting that you’ve ever driven drunk, I hope the next time you’re out driving with your girlfriend that some random cop pulls you over, plants heroin on you (preferably during a full cavity search), and extraordinarily renders your ass to Armenia itself. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/143 "2009-04-15T19:00:19Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I bet it makes the Armenian chicks weak in the knees. As long as it makes them wet in the hoo-hah! > [@](#): > > But yes, I do know a bit about the Constitution. Evidently not. > [@](#): > > Your years of being the world’s greatest driver (who for some reason is constantly getting pulled over) have taught you a little more about the rules of the road. I follow the rules of the road, it is why I get away with so much. > [@](#): > > I’m trying to keep you down by partially agreeing with you? I need nor seek no agreement with fools. > [@](#): > > Try harder. Right now we’re mostly getting a big dose of your ego. People with healthy egos don’t need to try. My coolness is beyond almost any reader here. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/144 "2009-04-15T19:00:58Z")
If I saw a guy with a beard driving an old van I’d probably pull him over too. 9 times out of 10 he’s either selling drugs or trying to abduct small children. You have to do everything you can to run those type out of town. If you harass them enough maybe they’ll get the hint that you don’t want them around. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/145 "2009-04-15T19:01:34Z")
> [@Zeriel](#): > > So, whiny asshole who drives like a dick. Right. Pretty much what I said the first time. > > Get a life, go to jury duty, thank a cop, AND stop drinking. > > Frankly, for admitting that you’ve ever driven drunk, I hope the next time you’re out driving with your girlfriend that some random cop pulls you over, plants heroin on you (preferably during a full cavity search), and extraordinarily renders your ass to Armenia itself. So, you want a cop to perjure himself. Nice. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/146 "2009-04-15T19:03:01Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/147 "2009-04-15T19:03:06Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > If I saw a guy with a beard driving an old van I’d probably pull him over too. 9 times out of 10 he’s either selling drugs or trying to abduct small children. You have to do everything you can to run those type out of town. If you harass them enough maybe they’ll get the hint that you don’t want them around. Well, that is your problem. I do what I want. I harm no-one. Your ignorant fantasies will not stop me. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/148 "2009-04-15T19:03:50Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > And just to piss everybody on this wussy board off, I have driven more miles drunk off my ass than any of you pussies have sober. I have been pulled over by coppers when I was drunk off my ass and they didn’t have shit to say. I am a better driver than you, under any circumstances! Get a life, and this goes double for mods. Cool it with the trolling already please. **Gfactor** Pit Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/149 "2009-04-15T19:04:50Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Well, that is your problem. I do what I want. I harm no-one. Your ignorant fantasies will not stop me. Yeah, but I don’t like having to look at you. So I’m just gonna keep pulling you over, again and again. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/150 "2009-04-15T19:10:16Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > So, you want a cop to perjure himself. Nice. In your case, yes, I’m totally comfortable that the greater good will be served, drunk driver. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/151 "2009-04-15T19:10:41Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > If I saw a guy with a beard driving an old van I’d probably pull him over too. 9 times out of 10 he’s either selling drugs or trying to abduct small children. You have to do everything you can to run those type out of town. If you harass them enough maybe they’ll get the hint that you don’t want them around. And quite frankly, Hampshire, if you are a cop, which I doubt, if you spend all your time pulling over guys with beards in vans, and think that this person is abducting small children or selling drugs, you are a pure asshat. The world would be better off without your knuckle dragging type. In my community, I am trusted with kids, don’t sell drugs, and have a good standing in my community. If you were to try and arrest me, based on your idiotic prejudices, you would face an army of my friends and neighbors, and you would be made a fool of in any court of law. So eat my dick, douchebag. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/152 "2009-04-15T19:11:10Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Is probable cause necessary for a cop to pull someone over? > [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. > > [http://lmgtfy.com/?q=probable+cause](http://lmgtfy.com/?q=probable+cause) Probable cause is not required for a traffic stop. The standard for a traffic stop is [reasonable suspicion](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reasonable_suspicion), a lower standard than probable cause. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/153 "2009-04-15T19:11:46Z")
> [@Gfactor](#): > > Cool it with the trolling already please. > > **Gfactor** > Pit Moderator Wolfie don’t troll. Just the facts. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/154 "2009-04-15T19:16:33Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > People with healthy egos don’t need to try. My coolness is beyond almost any reader here. You should fire the therapist who is trying to cure you of your need to overcompensate. That’s just money down the drain, sparky. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/155 "2009-04-15T19:19:28Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Probable cause is not required for a traffic stop. The standard for a traffic stop is [reasonable suspicion](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reasonable_suspicion), a lower standard than probable cause. Alright, OK fine. Driving down the street is not reasonable suspicion. Lying about someone going through a red light is not reasonable suspicion. So the piggies are still wrong when they lie about someone’s behavior. I watch cars drive down the street all the time, but just because someone is driving a ten year old car does not make them a criminal. The test of reasonable suspicion is that a REASONABLE PERSON would think that something illegal was going on. It does not mean that because someone is driving an older vehicle is probable cause to stop and violate someone’s constitutional rights. Go suck an egg, piggie. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/156 "2009-04-15T19:20:40Z")
> [@Dante](#): > > You should fire the therapist who is trying to cure you of your need to overcompensate. That’s just money down the drain, sparky. I stabbed my therapist last week. Do you wannabe next? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/157 "2009-04-15T19:20:58Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > In my community, I am trusted with kids, don’t sell drugs, and have a good standing in my community. If you were to try and arrest me, based on your idiotic prejudices, you would face an army of my friends and neighbors, and you would be made a fool of in any court of law. Is that before or after your admission of frequent drunken driving is made public? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/158 "2009-04-15T19:22:16Z")
> [@Stan\_Shmenge](#): > > Alright, OK fine. You were saying about your constitutional expertise? > [@](#): > > People with healthy egos don’t need to try. My coolness is beyond almost any reader here. One wonders why you’re working so hard to impress us with your tales of sticking it to the state patrol. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/159 "2009-04-15T19:24:15Z")
> [@Cheesesteak](#): > > Is that before or after your admission of frequent drunken driving is made public? I keep no secrets from my friends. Everyone knows that I imbibe, I just don’t hang with the uptight. I am still a better driver than anyone on this board, drunk or sober. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444/160 "2009-04-15T19:25:37Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > You were saying about your constitutional expertise? > One wonders why you’re working so hard to impress us with your tales of sticking it to the state patrol. I am a participant in a message board. I speak the truth. I could give a flying crap. It is you all that seem so agitated. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/moronic-cops/490444.md?page=9)