# Morons at Costco **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 21, 2013, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344 "2013-04-21T23:16:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/21 "2013-04-22T03:33:19Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > Next time go to Walmart. We won’t need to wait for your post here because it will be on the evening local news, complete with video. Man’s shopping cart abducted by aliens? Sorry, kidding. 🙂 edit: Costco insists on a higher psychopath. Quality. Higher quality of psychopath. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/22 "2013-04-22T03:50:09Z")
> [@deltasigma](#): > > I suppose now I’ll wait for all of the people to chime in about I’m a drug addled psychopath and that’s the most likely explanation. > > Feel free. Try to be original and humorous. Okay, I’ll bite. The only explanation possible is that you’re a drug addled psychopath. But wait! It gets even worse! The only possible solution for you is. . . Wait for it! . . . MORE DRUGS!!! Then you can be a drug addled drug addled psychopath psychopath. nb: I certain years gone by, best not remembered (and in fact mostly NOT remembered), I spent some portion of my time in some sort of addled daze, either due to drugs (Rx only!) or their side-effects or, more to the point, withdrawal effects, and the attending lack of sleep. There were times when I went about my business without being fully “there”, and not quite knowing what happened after the fact. Shit, I drove 7 hours on the highway in that condition, to get to a relative’s home, where I stayed for the next 8 months trying to recover. One of the partially blank holes in my memory archives has to do with how I did that and lived to tell about it! ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/23 "2013-04-22T03:58:02Z")
Oddly enough, it’s extremely difficult for me to experience lapses of memory. Even when I used to do a lot of illegal drugs, I always seemed to remember things with painful clarity - one of the things I was trying very hard to escape. It’s something of a curse. The only exceptions were times when was much younger and I would sleep walk. That was very disconcerting but it was limited to times when would be . . . well, sleeping. I do forget shit all of the time, but I think we can agree that’s something very different. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/24 "2013-04-22T05:08:29Z")
I took your cart, we were all laughing at you. I know where the brush heads are, we hid them from you, and now I have followed you here. You cannot escape, [you are my puppet, dance for me!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op7IgFbT8l0) ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/25 "2013-04-22T05:18:08Z")
I do have a paranoid streak, but thankfully it’s never been quite THAT bad. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/26 "2013-04-22T06:50:44Z")
> [@](#): > > I WILL tear your head off if you fuck with me > [@](#): > > I take a few grams per day with virually no noticable effect - even mood wise :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/27 "2013-04-22T07:20:51Z")
> [@deltasigma](#): > > I do have a paranoid streak, but thankfully it’s never been quite THAT bad. 🙂 You are not paranoid. The same thing happened to me. I had a somewhat full cart which I left somewhere to go off in search of something, and when I returned it was gone. I did not have another cart, so that was not it. I’m convinced that the over-eager Costco people remove “abandoned” carts to keep the aisles clear. So I totally believe you. There are morons at Costco, tons of them, but they are the customers - the morons who leave their carts sideways in the aisle, or shop with 20 bratty kids, or block the intersections near the sample tables. But that is a topic for the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Bullitt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bullitt/32/5725_2.png) [@Bullitt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bullitt)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/28 "2013-04-22T12:04:58Z")
The cart was probably taken by a prankster trying to “get to” you. From the OP and his subsequent posts, the prankster was successful. Get over it. Move on with your life. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/29 "2013-04-22T13:54:04Z")
> [@echo7tango](#): > > The cart was probably taken by a prankster trying to “get to” you. If you’re being genuine here, please explain why you think so - since you seem to be the only one in the thread other than myself of this opinion. > [@echo7tango](#): > > From the OP and his subsequent posts, the prankster was successful. Get over it. Move on with your life. It was over it the moment it happened. Please re-read what I said. I posted about it to just share the bizarre nature of the experience, ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/30 "2013-04-22T13:59:36Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > You are not paranoid. The same thing happened to me. I had a somewhat full cart which I left somewhere to go off in search of something, and when I returned it was gone. I did not have another cart, so that was not it. I’m convinced that the over-eager Costco people remove “abandoned” carts to keep the aisles clear. So I totally believe you. > > There are morons at Costco, tons of them, but they are the customers - the morons who leave their carts sideways in the aisle, or shop with 20 bratty kids, or block the intersections near the sample tables. But that is a topic for the Pit. Maybe, but lots of people were doing this and I parked it near a gazebo display where there was virtually no traffic. It was perfect spot so there would have been reason to remove the cart. It was completely unobtrusive. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/31 "2013-04-22T14:13:09Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > I read the OP as Mormons. That would have been a better story. > > Also, I second Chefguy’s original opinion. I did, too, and I, for one, am extremely disappointed there were no mormons in this story. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/32 "2013-04-22T16:00:10Z")
I was just at Costco this weekend. It’s true, everyone there is a moron, except me and my wife. If you leave your cart for even a second it will be moved because those aisles aren’t wide enough. One moron parks his cart and wonders off looking for god-knows-what. Another brought his whole family of eight kids and grandma and they bolt across the aisles grabbing at the free snacks, leaving their overloaded cart and grandma in her scooter in the main aisle. When I try to move forward with my cart, something has to give. I’ll just nudge that forlorn cart around the corner so I can get to the checkout hell … Look, they’re giving out cookies! _leaves cart and dashes away_ ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/33 "2013-04-22T16:30:23Z")
Costco carts have some wierd juju going on. I usually ride my bicycle to Costco.[(Yes really)](http://kevbo.smugmug.com/Bicycles/transportation-bike/i-FVhFcvp/0/L/smugshot_4671308-L.jpg) One day I walked in with my helmet and gloves in the cart. Somehow they moved themselves to another cart while I was putting my membership card back in my wallet, and I had to go back and find them after I finished my shopping. I have no freaking idea how I swapped carts as I went in to the store, but that is obviously what happened. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/34 "2013-04-22T17:25:55Z")
> [@shiftless](#): > > Another brought his whole family of eight kids and grandma… Seriously. When did Costco/Sam’s become a freaking cheap family entertainment stop? Of the many annoying things about the way these stores run, finding every aisle blocked by an entire tribe of goopers, gawpers and mooches is near the top. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2013, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/35 "2013-04-22T19:28:11Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Seriously. When did Costco/Sam’s become a freaking cheap family entertainment stop? Of the many annoying things about the way these stores run, finding every aisle blocked by an entire tribe of goopers, gawpers and mooches is near the top. When they started giving samples. We went one afternoon before they put out the snacks, and it was heaven, relatively speaking. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/36 "2013-04-23T01:56:16Z")
> [@deltasigma](#): > > But it did really worsen my mood such that somebody in the parking lot was staring at me for my music being too loud. Oh, too fucking bad. For 2 minutes it will take you to get out of the lot, deal with it shit head. ☹ Uh, you sort of kind of had a bit of sympathy from me up until this statement. So exactly why should the world have to listen to your loud music - be it for 2 seconds or 2 minutes? Kind of a dickwad thing to do…ever hear of something called headphones? At any rate - most likely someone intentionally pushed your cart down a different aisle as you were probably more in the way than you thought - then again, I am sure you rationalized that with a “Oh too fucking bad…deal with it shithead” attitude. In other words, I think there might be several morons in this story. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/37 "2013-04-23T02:04:59Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > When they started giving samples. We went one afternoon before they put out the snacks, and it was heaven, relatively speaking. Yeah, and the cheap food at the…well, food place. Not really a cafeteria, but I am always amazed at the people who actually stop to have a MEAL while shopping. Costco isn’t THAT big, and you’d think that you’d want to just get the hell out of there, not hang around and have a broccolli bake. ---
**Author:** ![deltasigma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e5b9ba/32.png) [@deltasigma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deltasigma)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/38 "2013-04-23T02:17:49Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Uh, you sort of kind of had a bit of sympathy from me up until this statement. > > So exactly why should the world have to listen to your loud music - be it for 2 seconds or 2 minutes? Kind of a dickwad thing to do…ever hear of something called headphones? > > At any rate - most likely someone intentionally pushed your cart down a different aisle as you were probably more in the way than you thought - then again, I am sure you rationalized that with a “Oh too fucking bad…deal with it shithead” attitude. > > In other words, I think there might be several morons in this story. I see your point about the music and if I’m stuck in traffic I don’t do that. But in a parking lot? No, I have no sympathy. As for my cart, as I said, it was by a gazebo display. These are generally in the center of the store with seasonal items where the aisles are already broken up. So no, I was in no way obstructing any traffic of any kind. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/39 "2013-04-23T03:36:49Z")
Kevbo, your bike is fucking cool. Thanks for posting that pic. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2013, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344/40 "2013-04-23T03:49:33Z")
> [@deltasigma](#): > > I was at Costco on this sunny Sunday afternoon. I was in one of my normal, ‘I don’t really give a fuck’ moods which means I’m not going to get upset but if you fuck with me, I’m going to call you out on it and not even think once about it regardless of who you are. I’m 6ft in my running shoes, and over 200lbs with a lot of that in my upper body so even much bigger guy think twice before they get in my face. Although I think this is mostly irrelevant to the story, but you never know. > > ( Yes, but how much do you bench press? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/morons-at-costco/656344.md?page=3)