# Most absurd celebrity crush **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 8, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930 "2006-05-08T18:24:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/1 "2006-05-08T18:24:30Z")
Who do you secretly have a crush on in pop culture, celebrity or fictional character, that you are only comfortable sharing here in the anonymous world of SDMB. I’ll go first. No one knows that I am in love with Detective Munch of Law and Order: SVU. He’s just so cool! (i’m a 22 year old college student!) ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/2 "2006-05-08T18:36:44Z")
When I was little, I had a huge crush on Maid Marian from Disney’s _Robin Hood_. Among the problems here… she’s a cartoon, she’s a fox (as in, the animal with the long tail), and she’s featured in one of Disney’s worst animated movies. In my defense, this movie came out when I was 5. Now that I’m 38, I am, of course, over this ridiculous attraction mostly. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/3 "2006-05-08T18:39:01Z")
Kari Byron from Mythbusters. Yeeee-ow, she’s really pretty, has a great smile and isn’t afraid to actually, you know, do stuff. If we’re going all fictional, either Aeon Flux or the chick from the Land O’ Lakes butter box. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/4 "2006-05-08T19:24:07Z")
There are (and have been) plenty of wimmins, both celebrities and fictional, that I’ve lusted after over the years, but the one that has lasted the longest and the only one that has ever actually attained the status of a crush is… Bridget Fonda. I don’t really know what it is. From all accounts she seems dumber’n a box of hammers, but there’s something about her that puts me back in junior high, and she’s the girl that I always pass at her locker when I’m on my way to English class. She’s just so cute and normal-seeming and unattainable. Maybe that’s not absurd enough. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/5 "2006-05-08T19:30:42Z")
I’m a 27-year-old woman from Cleveland and I have a crush/obsession with Sherlock Holmes as portrayed by Jeremy Brett. Not only is Brett much older, gay, and very dead, but Holmes is a drug addict (er, usually), most possibly has some mild autism, almost completely devoid of human emotion and all around WEIRD…but yeah, I’d hit it. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/6 "2006-05-08T20:20:28Z")
David Hasselhoff. ::: flees thread in shame ::: ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/7 "2006-05-08T20:26:30Z")
Fran Drescher. Hot and sexy as all get-out, accent or no accent. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/8 "2006-05-08T20:27:39Z")
Conan O’Brien. And Jimmy Pop Ali. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/9 "2006-05-08T20:33:38Z")
Freddie Mercury. Pretty absurd in light of the gay thing and the, ya know, dead thing, but I have lust in my heart for that man. ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/10 "2006-05-08T20:35:19Z")
I’ve always been oddly attracted to the NBC peacock. OK, I just made that one up—but what if? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/11 "2006-05-08T22:00:12Z")
In the “What in the hell???” could I be thinking department, I’ve recently added… CeCe Deville and Alice Cooper. I mean, the first I probably wouldn’t want to touch through some sort of decontamination suit and the second is just creepy in a golf sort of way, but still, I’d shudder (hehehehe) at the chance. 😛 Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/12 "2006-05-08T22:02:45Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Kari Byron from Mythbusters. Yeeee-ow, she’s really pretty, has a great smile and isn’t afraid to actually, you know, do stuff. Absurd? No sir - you just have very good taste. I used to have a big crush on Ricki Lake back in 93-94 when her show was big. Lately, I’ve been crushing on Tanya Memme from A&E’s “Sell This House”. I’m not sure there’s a hotter woman on television. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/13 "2006-05-08T22:03:42Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > David Hasselhoff. > > ::: flees thread in shame ::: Ha ha-you win! Or wait, should that be, you lose? Keith Olbermann. He’s just so delightfully snarky and I love a man with glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgonzola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e480ec/32.png) [@Gorgonzola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgonzola)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/14 "2006-05-08T22:07:51Z")
When I was twelve, Steve Martin was my first crush. I had \*A Wild and Crazy Guy \* on cassette tape and listened to it over and over on an old tape recorder. My husband (Steve never found his way to me, I guess), **Sam Stone** , has an enduring crush on Belle from the animated Disney version of _Beauty and the Beast_. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/15 "2006-05-08T22:20:37Z")
Sequential thread alert! **Most absurd celebrity crush Dead actresses** She died in 1985 before I’d even heard of her, but I’m still leaving the light on for [Louise Brooks](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louise_Brooks). ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/16 "2006-05-08T22:39:07Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > In the “What in the hell???” could I be thinking department, I’ve recently added… CeCe Deville and Alice Cooper. I mean, the first I probably wouldn’t want to touch through some sort of decontamination suit and the second is just creepy in a golf sort of way, but still, I’d shudder (hehehehe) at the chance. Is this the wrong time for me to point out that I look exactly like Alice Cooper? ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/17 "2006-05-08T22:44:19Z")
Only if you can explain what it means to look “creepy in a golf sort of way.” Are there togs involved? ---
**Author:** ![Rachael\_Rage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@Rachael\_Rage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachael_Rage)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/18 "2006-05-08T22:49:04Z")
> [@Gorgonzola](#): > > **Sam Stone** , has an enduring crush on Belle from the animated Disney version of _Beauty and the Beast_. Crushes on animated characters do seem to be the height of absurdity, but that didn’t stop me from having my first big celebrity crush on **Speed Racer** when I was about six years old. BTW, **McNew** , I haven’t forgiven Bridget Fonda for marrying my more current and slightly less absurd celebrity crush, **Danny Elfman**. Maybe we can work out a swap with them? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/19 "2006-05-08T23:01:57Z")
Puts me in the mid of [this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=7370384#) ---
**Author:** ![ScoobyTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@ScoobyTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScoobyTX)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2006, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/20 "2006-05-08T23:09:21Z")
> [@Big Bad Voodoo Lou](#): > > Fran Drescher. Hot and sexy as all get-out, accent or no accent. If I had a pair of tube socks to gag that oversized mouth with, I’d hit it everyday and twice on Sunday. Without the gag, I don’t think I could get it up. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930.md?page=2)