# Most absurd celebrity crush **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 8, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930 "2006-05-08T18:24:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Lama\_Pacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Lama\_Pacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lama_Pacos)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/41 "2006-05-09T03:08:51Z")
Joan Cusack. Not that she’s not actually attractive or anything, but she’s well out of my socially admittable age range. Something about her just makes my heart melt in that celebrity-crush kind of way. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/42 "2006-05-09T03:38:19Z")
The Little Mermaid was hot. That hair! Those eyes! Those shells! I went out and bought an “Ariel” pillowcase. I was in college at the time. ---
**Author:** ![ScoobyTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@ScoobyTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScoobyTX)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/43 "2006-05-09T03:42:41Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > She’s two years older than me. OK. Not creepy. Not absurd, either. (I was hoping you weren’t my age or older, cause then I’d ask about your raincoat, and your van. ---
**Author:** ![Talon\_Karrde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Talon\_Karrde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talon_Karrde)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/44 "2006-05-09T03:47:08Z")
David Bowie. I’m straight and just under 20, so that’s why it’s absurd. In some ways, he’s better looking now. I didn’t like the way he looked with his Ziggy Stardust hair, he started looking good after he lost that, around 1975. Except for in the late 90’s when he had the beard thing going. Ew. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/45 "2006-05-09T03:51:03Z")
Bob Costas. He has that baby face… ZJ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/46 "2006-05-09T03:51:31Z")
> [@E. Thorp](#): > > She died in 1985 before I’d even heard of her, but I’m still leaving the light on for [Louise Brooks](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Louise_Brooks). There was a documentary on Louise Brooks on TCM today. She was a cutie. Me? I don’t know if I have a celbrity crush _pre se_, but I do find the following actresses attractive (in no particular order): Mythbuster Kari (of course!) Cote de Pablo (_NCIS_) Pauley Perrette (_NCIS_) Holly Hunter from about ten years ago Amanda Plummer from a few years ago Maria de Madeiros (‘Fabienne’ from _Pulp Fiction_) Myram d’Abo (_The Living Daylights_) Probably many others. What can I say? I like the women! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lobstermobster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobstermobster/32/10033_2.png) [@lobstermobster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobstermobster)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/47 "2006-05-09T04:13:36Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > Puts me in the mid of [this thread.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=7370384#) ugh don’t point out the fact there has already been a thread like this. not everyone searched through straight dope before posting what they’re thinking about. In this case, I was thinking about Munch. ---
**Author:** ![Flipstrip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f6c823/32.png) [@Flipstrip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flipstrip)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/48 "2006-05-09T04:27:33Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > In the “What in the hell???” could I be thinking department, I’ve recently added… CeCe Deville and Alice Cooper. I mean, the first I probably wouldn’t want to touch through some sort of decontamination suit and the second is just creepy in a golf sort of way, but still, I’d shudder (hehehehe) at the chance. 😛 > > Go figure. Actually, I’ve met C.C. and he’s very cute up close and rather sweet and funny. I don’t think you’d need a decontamination suit at all. Can’t help you with Alice, though he’s always come off as a very cool guy to me. Oh, and my absurd celebrity crush? Well, since we’re doing cartoon/comics characters, I’ll go with Beast from the X-Men comics. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/49 "2006-05-09T04:32:41Z")
From the “unfortunately, they’re animated” category - Prince Phillip, Tarzan, and Shang From the “unfortunately, they’re fictional” Josh & Sam from the West Wing. Not Bradley Whitford & Rob Lowe, but the characters - I think back fondly to those Wednesday nights I spent watching Josh and Sam v. the evil Republicans (and fight crime!) In the surprisingly popular L&O category - B.D. Wong & Christopher Meloni ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/50 "2006-05-09T04:36:08Z")
She-Hulk. She’s tall, she’s brilliant, she’s funny, she’s green–everything I want in a woman! ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/51 "2006-05-09T05:03:23Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > I dig. > > I had a crush on Christina Ricci. “But Troy,” you say, “there’s nothing weird about that!” > > I dug her as Wednesday Addams. There’s nothing weird about that. Good grief! I guess I’d never heard of Louise Brooks–she was gorgeous! Me? Oh, I’m thirtysomething, Midwestern, Nordic, & have had a thing for Mercedes Ruehl since I was a kid. I don’t expect anyone to get it. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/52 "2006-05-09T05:09:28Z")
My sad crush on Helen Hunt goes unabated. I’ve tried to ween myself away from her with other clebe crushes - a brief fling with my ex Laura Dern, Jill Hennessy (strike one for the L)&O laydeez) until she lost her looks, the inevitible Helen substitute Leelee Sobieski and even a disastrous spell with Lois Griffin, but I always come back to Helen. She gets better looking as she gets older. mm ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/53 "2006-05-09T05:21:20Z")
> [@Lama Pacos](#): > > Joan Cusack. Not that she’s not actually attractive or anything, but she’s well out of my socially admittable age range. Something about her just makes my heart melt in that celebrity-crush kind of way. [mpsims] I saw part of _School of Rock_ on TV last week. I was cringing at parts of the movie, but I was also struck by how unusually attractive I found Joan in that. I mean, I like her in general, but I don’t like all her roles. But there I was watching a Jack Black flick & drooling over her as a supporting player. Part of it was the character’s neediness, & part of it is my affection for Cusacks in general. [/mpsims] ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/54 "2006-05-09T06:29:47Z")
> [@mamboman](#): > > My sad crush on Helen Hunt goes unabated. I’ve tried to ween myself away from her with other clebe crushes - a brief fling with my ex Laura Dern, Jill Hennessy (strike one for the L)&O laydeez) until she lost her looks, the inevitible Helen substitute Leelee Sobieski and even a disastrous spell with Lois Griffin, but I always come back to Helen. She gets better looking as she gets older. > > mm How is a crush on Helen Hunt weird? Attractive and has that snarky/sweet personality and a clear comfort with her own body (you know she’d be great in bed)…ok maybe I’m showing my own crush on her at this point. Gadget from Rescue Rangers I know I was young but damn a cartoon mouse? _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/55 "2006-05-09T06:56:15Z")
Seriously. Helen Hunt’s posing/bathtub scene from _As Good as It Gets_ is one of the most erotic moments in all of cinema. Her back and sillouhette is cameo. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/56 "2006-05-09T07:45:15Z")
[QUOTE=Darkhold] How is a crush on Helen Hunt weird? Attractive and has that snarky/sweet personality and a clear comfort with her own body (you know she’d be great in bed)…ok maybe I’m showing my own crush on her at this point. QUOTE] Add to that the fact that she married _Hank Azaria_, thereby giving hope to less-than-attractive-men with ideas of marrying above their station all over the world and she’s just about the perfect woman!! Good to see all the love for Helen on the boards! mm ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/57 "2006-05-09T16:50:00Z")
> [@mamboman](#): > > Add to that the fact that she married _Hank Azaria_, thereby giving hope to less-than-attractive-men with ideas of marrying above their station [Hank](http://www.nndb.com/people/584/000023515/) [Azaria](http://www.cinefile.biz/polly2.jpg) is not Moe. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/58 "2006-05-09T17:02:35Z")
> [@HelloNinja](#): > > Well, I’d recommend you rent Brokeback Mountain if for nothing else but being able to see Ms. Hathaway topless briefly. I’m glad it’s the actress, not the character Ms. Hathaway. Me? For a strange one, I can’t avoid watching Erin Esurance commercials. Oh, **faithfool** , I have Alice Cooper’s hairstyle, is that close? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/59 "2006-05-09T17:22:20Z")
If we’re doing comic book characters, I guess I can admit my tween-age crush on Luke Cage. He had a friggin big-ass chain for a belt! Those legs…rowrrr… ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/60 "2006-05-09T19:38:23Z")
Jane Stern, the ultra-plus size [Roadfood](http://roadfood.com) lady. I’m not typically a chubbychaser, but Jane has a smart sweet voice, a beatific smile, and if it’s deep-fried, BBQ’d, dipped in powdered sugar or served on a stick – she’s _there_, man. And with intelligent critique and insatiable tastebuds. Jane provides me (a Type 2 diabetic) with a vicarious way to enjoy the junk cuisine I grew up loving, and a fantasy partner to do it with. And without her, I probably never would have bothered to stop and figure out that it would take 914 cans of Reddi-Wip to fill the average sized bathtub. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930.md?page=4)