# Most absurd celebrity crush **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 8, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930 "2006-05-08T18:24:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![AmericanMaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@AmericanMaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AmericanMaid)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/61 "2006-05-09T19:43:55Z")
I have no idea why but [William Fichtner](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001209/) totally does it for me. I know, I know he looks like the love child of James Spader and an alien… ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/62 "2006-05-09T19:55:42Z")
I’ve got a thing for the tiny-but-tough Sergeant Havers, as portrayed by [Sharon Small](http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/faces/sharon_small.shtml). Funny, Lady Lacha is tiny-but-tough, too. I see a pattern forming … ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/63 "2006-05-09T20:17:22Z")
> [@vaderspal](#): > > BTW, **McNew** , I haven’t forgiven Bridget Fonda for marrying my more current and slightly less absurd celebrity crush, **Danny Elfman**. Maybe we can work out a swap with them? Just made my way back to this thread- I’m down. You let me know and we’ll perform the switcheroo. I’ll just have to find someone for my wife, who has never let on about any of her crushes, absurd or otherwise. As soon as she gives me a name, we’ll set it up. Woo-hoo! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/64 "2006-05-09T20:23:50Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Jane Stern, the ultra-plus size [Roadfood](http://roadfood.com) lady. Great, now I have a celebrity crush on that chocolate doughnut they are featuring. Anything on that there Internet is an instant celebrity, right? ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/65 "2006-05-09T20:27:25Z")
Have you seen the new $10 bill? Alexander Hamilton is HOT! But he’s dead, you say…doesn’t make any difference, I’m married. My long term crush is Mr. Bennet from Pride and Prejudice. Everyone ELSE likes Darcy, who still seems like a stiff to me after wearing out three copies of the book. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/66 "2006-05-09T20:31:56Z")
> [@Flipstrip](#): > > Actually, I’ve met C.C. and he’s very cute up close and rather sweet and funny. I don’t think you’d need a decontamination suit at all. > > Can’t help you with Alice, though he’s always come off as a very cool guy to me. > > Oh, and my absurd celebrity crush? Well, since we’re doing cartoon/comics characters, I’ll go with Beast from the X-Men comics. I meant no disrespect to my favorite **Surreal Life** star. As a matter of fact, that’s where I got the jones for him from. Not only did he do nothing for me in their heyday, but I didn’t even listen to that _devil_ music. 😛 But now he seems quite adorable and I find him irresistibly cute. Although I’ve bet he’s still been around the block a time or four thousand. Hence the suit. And who knew that having a thing for Alice would be such a boon?? To attract all the hawt Doper men! But as everyone knows, my heart belongs to the **Hermit** , no matter what the hair style. ::: blushes ::: ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/67 "2006-05-09T20:34:58Z")
I seem to have a thing for Asian guys. BD Wong, the guy who plays Archie on _CSI_, Daniel Dae Kim from _Lost_, Chow Yun-Fat and Jet Li. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/68 "2006-05-09T22:20:34Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > [Hank](http://www.nndb.com/people/584/000023515/) [Azaria](http://www.cinefile.biz/polly2.jpg) is not Moe. I wasn’t saying he was Moe. I was however saying he was a less than attractive man (who married a more than attractive woman), is all mm ---
**Author:** ![pizzabrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e9c0ed/32.png) [@pizzabrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pizzabrat)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/69 "2006-05-09T22:28:46Z")
> [@Borborygmi](#): > > When I was little, I had a huge crush on Maid Marian from Disney’s _Robin Hood_. Among the problems here… she’s a cartoon, she’s a fox (as in, the animal with the long tail), and she’s featured in one of Disney’s worst animated movies. In my defense, this movie came out when I was 5. Now that I’m 38, I am, of course, over this ridiculous attraction mostly. Don’t feel weird. Maid Marion is the Eve of furries. Robin Hood was the first Disney animated feature to be casted exclusively with anthropomorphic animals, and Marion was the female lead. You were basically a pioneer in furryhood. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/70 "2006-05-09T22:34:27Z")
Don’t tell anyone… but I think Robert Horry (of the NBA; a. k. a. “Big Shot Bob”) is a dreamboat. And I am a very straight male. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/71 "2006-05-09T22:36:37Z")
> [@mamboman](#): > > I wasn’t saying he was Moe. I was however saying he was a less than attractive man (who married a more than attractive woman), is all > > mm Whoa - then I should add him to my absurd crushes then, because he really does it for me. Fi-yi-yah! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/72 "2006-05-09T22:38:33Z")
For the last year my main crush has been Dave Matthews. Problem is, when I listen to his music, I want to _pounce_ any and all men who might be around. Unfortunately there are no men around. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/73 "2006-05-09T22:47:54Z")
> [@Borborygmi](#): > > When I was little, I had a huge crush on Maid Marian from Disney’s _Robin Hood_. Among the problems here… she’s a cartoon, she’s a fox (as in, the animal with the long tail), and she’s featured in one of Disney’s worst animated movies. In my defense, this movie came out when I was 5. Now that I’m 38, I am, of course, over this ridiculous attraction mostly. Could be worse. When Robert Crumb was little he had, by his own account, a sexual obsession with Bugs Bunny. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/74 "2006-05-09T22:50:07Z")
A friend of mine still has a crush on Optimus Prime. She’s 24. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/75 "2006-05-09T23:32:07Z")
Lynne Russell. Go figure. ---
**Author:** ![ScoobyTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@ScoobyTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ScoobyTX)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/76 "2006-05-09T23:39:16Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Could be worse. When Robert Crumb was little he had, by his own account, a sexual obsession with Bugs Bunny. [Garth]Was it when Bugs Bunny dressed up like a girl bunny?[/Garth] Wayne’s World was on Comedy Central not too long ago. ---
**Author:** ![Flipstrip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f6c823/32.png) [@Flipstrip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flipstrip)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2006, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/77 "2006-05-09T23:54:20Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > I meant no disrespect to my favorite **Surreal Life** star. As a matter of fact, that’s where I got the jones for him from. Not only did he do nothing for me in their heyday, but I didn’t even listen to that _devil_ music. 😛 But now he seems quite adorable and I find him irresistibly cute. Although I’ve bet he’s still been around the block a time or four thousand. Hence the suit. > > And who knew that having a thing for Alice would be such a boon?? To attract all the hawt Doper men! But as everyone knows, my heart belongs to the **Hermit** , no matter what the hair style. ::: blushes ::: No offense taken – just letting you know C.C.'s quite fetching in person. (I thought I was the only one on the boards who watched “Surreal Life 6”.) Enjoy the Alice/hot Doper men love-fest! ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/78 "2006-05-10T00:39:41Z")
> [@The Mad Hermit](#): > > Me? For a strange one, I can’t avoid watching Erin Esurance commercials. OK, ya got me. I always thought grown men fantasizing about Kim Possible was creepy and weird, but Erin Esurance is a very sexy animated spokes-babe. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/79 "2006-05-10T00:56:08Z")
> [@Borborygmi](#): > > When I was little, I had a huge crush on Maid Marian from Disney’s _Robin Hood_. Among the problems here… she’s a cartoon, she’s a fox (as in, the animal with the long tail), and she’s featured in one of Disney’s worst animated movies. In my defense, this movie came out when I was 5. Now that I’m 38, I am, of course, over this ridiculous attraction mostly. Erm…I had a crush on Robin Hood. So I am with you there. Also the boy from Speed Racer. And I am now 30. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/80 "2006-05-10T00:59:36Z")
> [@N.Sane](#): > > Vaderspal, I had a crush on Speed Racer too! > [@vaderspal](#): > > Crushes on animated characters do seem to be the height of absurdity, but that didn’t stop me from having my first big celebrity crush on Speed Racer when I was about six years old. Oh, I guess I join you guys then, He was cute, wasn’t he? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930.md?page=5)