# Most absurd celebrity crush **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 8, 2006, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930 "2006-05-08T18:24:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/81 "2006-05-10T01:12:41Z")
My first love was Hawkeye Pierce. I’ve been flirting with Munch lately too. Is Homicide in reruns somewhere? ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/82 "2006-05-10T03:00:43Z")
If we’re counting cartoons, Casper the Friendly Ghost was my kind of sensitive guy. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/83 "2006-05-10T03:30:04Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > I seem to have a thing for Asian guys. > BD Wong, the guy who plays Archie on _CSI_, Daniel Dae Kim from _Lost_, Chow Yun-Fat and Jet Li. It’s kinda sad that guys like them are considered to be “absurd” celebrity crushes. (And no, I’m not trying to start up another SDMB discussion about how Asian men are castrated by the media.) ---
**Author:** ![supervenusfreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@supervenusfreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supervenusfreak)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/84 "2006-05-10T03:45:28Z")
I want the [Kashi Food commercial guy](http://www.kashi.com/changes/greg/). He travels the world finding good things to eat. He is very woofy too! ---
**Author:** ![cbawlmer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@cbawlmer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbawlmer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/85 "2006-05-10T04:13:02Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > I’ve been flirting with Munch lately too. Is Homicide in reruns somewhere? Not right now, unfortunately. ---
**Author:** ![Whifton\_Polekitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/97f17d/32.png) [@Whifton\_Polekitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whifton_Polekitty)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/86 "2006-05-10T04:38:02Z")
I have a thing about average-sized for Yuko Ogura. I can watch or listen to ANYTHING she does with rapt attention even if I don’t understand a word of it. Except for the video of her FREAKING THE FUCK OUT over elephants. That… I cannot watch. Everything else is a go, though. Yuko Ogura: Ask for her by name! (And please please please get her to send me a picture if you do!) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/87 "2006-05-10T04:56:16Z")
> [@foolsguinea](#): > > There’s nothing weird about that. > > Good grief! I guess I’d never heard of Louise Brooks–she was gorgeous! > > Me? Oh, I’m thirtysomething, Midwestern, Nordic, & have had a thing for Mercedes Ruehl since I was a kid. I don’t expect anyone to get it. I’m mid-thirties, southern, and african, and I have a thing for Mercedes Ruehl. She’s hot. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/88 "2006-05-10T05:05:52Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > A friend of mine still has a crush on Optimus Prime. > > She’s 24. My 31-year-old sister has a crush on Optimus Prime still. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/89 "2006-05-10T05:42:30Z")
Is it wrong for me to have a huge crush on [Amy Roloff](http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/lpbw/bios/amy.html) from The Learning Channel’s **Little People, Big World**? I dig her, she’s smart and sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/90 "2006-05-10T07:34:13Z")
> [@Borborygmi](#): > > When I was little, I had a huge crush on Maid Marian from Disney’s _Robin Hood_. Among the problems here… she’s a cartoon, she’s a fox (as in, the animal with the long tail), and she’s featured in one of Disney’s worst animated movies. I take serious issue with your assessment of this movie as “one of Disney’s worst animated movies.” _Robin Hood_ is a very charming, entertaining and thoroughly clever movie, not just for kids but for anyone. I must have seen this movie a hundred times growing up, and I loved it each time. With so many recent shitty animated films under Disney’s belt, I can’t believe you’d single out this one over Hercules or Doug’s First Movie or Chicken Little or any of the other crap they’ve been shitting out lately. As for my celebrity crush: my knees go weak for [Daniel Craig.](http://us.movies1.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/sony_pictures_classics/layer_cake/daniel_craig/layercake3.jpg) See, I have a thing for smart men, and anyone that ugly who was able to con EON Productions into letting play James Bond must be a genius. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/91 "2006-05-10T11:46:50Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > It’s kinda sad that guys like them are considered to be “absurd” celebrity crushes. (And no, I’m not trying to start up another SDMB discussion about how Asian men are castrated by the media.) As soon as I posted that, I realized that they weren’t “absurd” at all. I was just thinking ‘celebrity crushes.’ Hey, at least they’re real and not cartoon characters! ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/92 "2006-05-10T11:52:39Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > [Hank](http://www.nndb.com/people/584/000023515/) [Azaria](http://www.cinefile.biz/polly2.jpg) is not Moe. You know… I just realized that he voiced Moe… thereby making Helen Hunt’s guest voicing on the Simpsons a case of ‘cast members more famous (arguably) sweetie agreeing to guest on his show and play his character’s love interest.’ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/93 "2006-05-10T12:19:41Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > I’ve been flirting with Munch lately too. Is Homicide in reruns somewhere? Very occasionally there’ll be a two-parter L&O/Homicide on TNT when they show the Part 2 in Baltimore. Munch’s interactions with Clark Johnson were some funny stuff. Reminds me of a story…one of my friends names her pets after favorite TV shows, like Xena and Buffy, and Cordelia for Cordel Walker, Texas Ranger. I told my mom this and she said, “How am I supposed to name my pet ‘Homicide:Life on the Street’?!?” Which is why if I ever get a dog he will be named Pembleton. ---
**Author:** ![zeldarae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/f14d63/32.png) [@zeldarae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zeldarae)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/94 "2006-05-10T18:54:42Z")
Even though I need to arise each weekday morning at 5:45 am, I must stay up to see my crush [Craig Ferguson](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0272401/) . My local station doesn’t air his show until midnight, but I need my nightly fix. The thing is I could never understand MiMi’s obsession with Mr. Wick. ---
**Author:** ![choie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/choie/32/7829_2.png) [@choie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choie)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2006, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/95 "2006-05-10T22:19:19Z")
Oh lord, how I empathize with everyone in this category. _**Crushes I was 95% certain I’m alone in liking (until I read this thread):**_ - Yes, I too loved foxy ol’ Robin Hood, from the Disney flick, as voiced by the scrummy Shakespearean actor Brian Bedford. I was like 7 when I first saw this cartoon, which launched my lifelong lust for British accents. We didn’t have VCRs back then, but my mom bought me the record (old skool vinyl, to you kiddies among us) and I proceeded to wear out not just one, not just two, but three copies by playing it every night before I went to sleep. I can still melt a little when I remember Bedford’s reading of “Faint heart never won fair lady!” (Decades later, I remember watching an episode of _Cheers_ and being shocked when the minor character of Rebecca’s first boss was introduced. The Voice! Sure enough, 'twas Brian Bedford who played “Mr. Stone.”) BTW I stand with the others in defending _Robin Hood_. With funny songs by Roger Miller and voice acting by folks like Terry Thomas, Peter Ustinov, Phil Harris, and my man Brian Bedford, how could it be less than wonderful? Maybe the animation was less than brilliant, coming as it did during Disney’s low phase, but even so it’s still better than _The Aristocats_, _Sword in the Stone_, and _101 Dalmatians_. Hmph! - **Merneith** , I’ll see your Hawkeye Pierce and raise you a B.J. Hunnicutt. How many other 13-year-olds would’ve been thrilled when their mom got Mike Farrell’s autograph?? - [Dave Debusschere](http://www.nba.com/history/players/debusschere_bio.html), part of the Knicks’ championship-winning team in the early '70s and one of the best rebounders/defensive players of the day. Also? Cute. - Um, speaking of crushing on cartoon characters … at least Robin Hood was a fox. What about falling for an animated _rat_? Yep, Jeremy from _Secret of NIMH_, I’m lookin’ at you. - Jem Finch from _To Kill a Mockingbird_ (the book, primarily). He was the brother I always wanted but also kinda the crush I always dreamed about. What a little sweetie. - Martin Short from his SCTV days. God help me. - Graham Chapman (yeah I know, gay _and_ dead; for a less absurd version of this crush, see Michael Palin, below) - Peter and Edmund from _Chronicles of Narnia_ (only the books). Yeah, I’m way too old for them, but I figure … they’re not real! That’s gotta make it okay, right? RIGHT? - In the “might not be absurd except for the fact that they’re, um, dead” category: John Payne (in _Miracle on 34th Street_), Leslie Howard, Gordon McCrae, Howard Keel (in _Kiss Me, Kate_), Errol Flynn, and probably many other great film stars I’m forgetting. _ **Crushes I know are shared by others, but still feel … weird** _: - Bill Clinton and Al Gore. Sigh! I’m pissed off with Bill a lot of the time, but the man is still amazingly charming and sexy. I forgive him way too much. Now, Al? Brilliant, self-deprecating, charming, compassionate, progressive, and handsome. Totally rules my world. (Hopefully literally in 2009, heh.) - Michael McKean. Hilarious, attractive, and intensely talented in a multi-hyphenate kinda way. Chris Guest too, but there’s something more remote about him IRL. - Kirk Douglas. Michael Douglas now, but Kirk Douglas in his hayday was … oooh my. - Michael Palin, for being smart, nice, well-rounded, funny, talented, and um rather attractive in his younger days. - Jake Weber. He’s gotten more popular thanks to costarring in _Medium_, as well as the earlier role in _Dawn of the Dead_’s remake, but I’ve lusted for him for ten years, ever since spotting his self-loathing, guilt-ridden, doomed character in the doomed CBS series _American Gothic_. - Similarly, Gary Cole. He wasn’t always Mike Brady … to me, he’ll always be the intensely sexy and evil Lucas Buck from _American Gothic_. The guy knew how to rock a leather vest like nobody’s business. - Fictionally, Snape and Lupin from _Harry Potter_. Yep, more guilt and self-loathing, which apparently turn me on. I am sick. Alan Rickman and David Thewlis’s portrayals are kickass. - Tobias Beecher, from _Oz_, played by Lee Tergesen. Guilt? Check. Self-loathing? Check. Gay? Well, apparently. Check. Hits all my marks, so he’s gotta be included. - Of course, sometimes guilt isn’t accompanied by self-loathing. That’s where the _ne plus ultra_ of absurd crushes comes in: Chris Keller, from _Oz_ (as played by Christopher Meloni). Why so absurd? Let’s see. Unrepentent serial killer. Gay. Sadistic. Oh, and dead. And yet all this doesn’t matter, as the guy is what they mean when they say “teh sex.” And I’m a pretty normal person in real life. Honestly! ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/96 "2006-05-11T00:07:56Z")
Without getting too far into the list of all the animated females I’ve crushed on - I’ll just say that I’ve a weakness for animated redheads. So, I share the admiration shown in this thread for Ariel for Little Mermaid, and Kari Byron. (What? You don’t think they’re equally impossible for me? I sure do.) Jill Hennessey has been a long-time crush, and when we start getting into old b&w movie stars I’d really, really go for some Ann Sheridan. For a while I had a monster sized crush on Winona Ryder. Then things came out that I’d be the sane one in such a pairing. No thank you. Jennifer Connolley is another I’d just love to spend a few hours chatting with, over dinner. Not saying I’d turn down anything more, but as she’s rather happily coupled, I don’t think it’s likely. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/97 "2006-05-11T00:17:39Z")
I started to quote some of your words, then realized I had a bunch of stuff to say! > [@choie](#): > > - Yes, I too loved foxy ol’ Robin Hood, from the Disney flick, as voiced by the scrummy Shakespearean actor Brian Bedford. \*\* I was like 7 when I first saw this cartoon, which launched my lifelong lust for British accents\*\*. We didn’t have VCRs back then, but my mom bought me the record (old skool vinyl, to you kiddies among us) and I proceeded to wear out not just one, not just two, but three copies by playing it every night before I went to sleep. I can still melt a little when I remember Bedford’s reading of “Faint heart never won fair lady!” (bolding mine) I wonder if that’s where I got my love of them, too. > [@](#): > > BTW I stand with the others in defending _Robin Hood_. With funny songs by Roger Miller and voice acting by folks like Terry Thomas, Peter Ustinov, Phil Harris, and my man Brian Bedford, how could it be less than wonderful? Maybe the animation was less than brilliant, coming as it did during Disney’s low phase, but even so it’s still better than _The Aristocats_, _Sword in the Stone_, and _101 Dalmatians_. Hmph! You can add my vote to this. What a completely charming movie. I love the fight in the middle, and he’s talking to her about getting married. “London! Paris! Rome!” > [@](#): > > - Um, speaking of crushing on cartoon characters … at least Robin Hood was a fox. What about falling for an animated _rat_? Yep, Jeremy from _Secret of NIMH_, I’m lookin’ at you. While I didn’t have a crush on him per se, he was pretty intriguing and interesting. > [@](#): > > - Michael Palin, for being smart, nice, well-rounded, funny, talented, and um rather attractive in his younger days. Sense of humor is definitely at the very top of my list, so you can add me to Michael Palin, as well as Graham Chapman. And of course I have a great big crush on both Batman and Nightcrawler, Batman barely edging out the latter. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/98 "2006-05-11T12:13:12Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Which is why if I ever get a dog he will be named Pembleton. Will he bark with a post-stroke stammer? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/99 "2006-05-11T12:40:34Z")
I started watching “Criminal Minds” for Mandy Patamtkin and Thomas Gibson. I’ve ended up with a crush on Matthew Gray Gubler, who plays Dr. Spencer Reid. He’s nerd personified, but I love him. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2006, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930/100 "2006-05-11T12:54:43Z")
> [@divemaster](#): > > The Little Mermaid was hot. That hair! Those eyes! Those shells! Her voice is what does it for me. \<\< swoon \>\> [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-absurd-celebrity-crush/355930.md?page=6)