# Most completely false cliche/aphorism
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [January 6, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957 "2010-01-06T21:00:41Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Red\_Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Skeezix)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2010, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/21 "2010-01-06T22:57:49Z")
> [@Bytegeist](#):
>
> How about: _That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger._
>
> As I think Dennis Miller once observed, what doesn’t kill you can actually mess you up for a very very long time.
That’s one that is often misquoted, I believe it is actually “That which does not destroy you…” Which has slightly different connotations and isn’t limited to simple death.
> [@olivesmarch4th](#):
>
> I know we’re attacking optimistic ideas here, but it’s worth noting that optimists are generally more successful, more healthy, more likely to overcome setbacks, and live longer lives than pessimists. So the people more likely to say these things are probably happier and healthier overall.
But is it the optimism that keeps them living longer, or not having to deal with all the shit that makes some of us pessimistic?
My nominations:
This pair, usually heard separately.
Less is more.
Have and Not Need.
Here’s one that the busybodies love, and I hate:
Good advice is always certain to be ignored, but that`s no reason not to give it.
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/22 "2010-01-06T22:58:43Z")
The US Marines like to say “Pain is weakness leaving the body”. I often add under my breath “-or entering it”.
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### Author:  [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/23 "2010-01-06T23:00:45Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#):
>
> “Money can’t buy happiness”.
>
> My ass.
This one always amuses me because it’s one thing to be cynical and take the attitude of “fuck that, I’d be totally happy if I could just afford a jet ski and a beach house”, which isn’t necessarily true. Having lots and lots of money isn’t anywhere near as good an indicator of happiness as, say, having lots of meaningful long term personal relationships. But on the low end, having enough money to afford shelter, food and other important basic sustenance is an extremely highly correlated with happiness. Money isn’t everything, but if you’re on welfare and are hungry and can’t afford your heating bill it could literally buy a lot of happiness.
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### Author:  [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/24 "2010-01-06T23:05:29Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#):
>
> I know we’re attacking optimistic ideas here, but it’s worth noting that optimists are generally more successful, more healthy, more likely to overcome setbacks, and live longer lives than pessimists. So the people more likely to say these things are probably happier and healthier overall.
I have nothing against optimism. I’m not so fond of glurge, or the _mindless_ optimism expressed by many of these quotes.
> [@billfish678](#):
>
> Thats just a poor thought out mis-application of “things could always be worse” which I highly suspect might actually be true a 100 percent of the time.
“That’s one of the remarkable things about life. It’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.”
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### Author:  [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2010, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/25 "2010-01-06T23:16:37Z")
> [@Red\_Skeezix](#):
>
> That’s one that is often misquoted, I believe it is actually “That which does not destroy you…” Which has slightly different connotations and isn’t limited to simple death.
>
> But is it the optimism that keeps them living longer, or not having to deal with all the shit that makes some of us pessimistic?
Very interesting book by Martin Seligman (Seligman’s the guy who did all the ‘‘learned helplessness’’ studies on dogs and later, people) called ‘‘Learned Optimism.’’ I did a [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508628&highlight=optimism) on this book a while back if you’re interested.
To quote myself:
> [@](#):
>
> Seligman does have evidence to conclude that people do change their explanatory style, either as a result of traumatic events (i.e. learned helplessness) or for as yet undetermined reasons that he wanted to investigate. Many of the old people in the diary study had in fact changed their explanatory styles, and the ones who had become optimists ended up in better health than their pessimistic counterparts. He absolutely believes explanatory style can be changed – hence the full title, ‘‘Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life.’’ He gives a personal account of himself overcoming depression and learning to be optimistic. The end of his book is an overview of Cognitive Therapy techniques like refutation of negative beliefs and the ABC construct of Albert Ellis.
So the answer is that having to deal with a lot of shit can create pessimistic people, but that’s really no excuse for being a pessimist. 😉
‘‘That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger’’ is one of my favorite Nietzsche quotes and I have found it to be basically true, in the long-term. But the strength isn’t really a gimme; it’s something you’ve gotta consciously create.
Another great Nietzsche quote is ‘‘He who has a why to live can bear almost any how,’’ and it’s frequently trumpeted by the great trauma psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, so I think it gets a pass. Nietzsche was no optimist. He was a suffering man struggling to find meaning in his life.
(I believe I can be deeply pessimistic in the short-term, such as my own contribution to this thread, but I have a very optimistic attitude in the long-term, which has ultimately led to a happier, healthier life.)
**Anne** , I agree about the mindless platitudes thing, I mentioned that in the Seligman thread – irrationally positive thoughts have not been shown to help people. In general those who see failures as temporary, only affecting a small part of their life, and not their own fault are more likely to succeed.
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### Author:  [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2010, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/26 "2010-01-06T23:21:29Z")
“Every one’s a racist” " (At varying degrees)
No, you stupid fuck. They are not.
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### Author:  [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/27 "2010-01-06T23:22:09Z")
What goes around comes around.
Um, no. I’ve known lots of vile people who died happy and content without ever having to suffer the consequences for their actions, thank you very much.
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### Author:  [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)
#### Post date: [January 6, 2010, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/28 "2010-01-06T23:29:59Z")
> [@Lumpy](#):
>
> The US Marines like to say “Pain is weakness leaving the body”. I often add under my breath “-or entering it”.
Reminds me of a George Carlin quote, a variation on the old exercise mantra “no pain, no gain”.
George didnt like exercise apparently, cause his mantra was “no pain, no pain”
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### Author:  [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/29 "2010-01-07T00:18:17Z")
“He who dies with the most toys wins.”
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/30 "2010-01-07T00:33:38Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#):
>
> Well how odd.
There’s a larger story to it.
A long time ago, a guy approached a scientist at some sort of social function. The scientist was an expert on fluid dynamics or flight or something like that. The guy asked the scientist how bumble bees fly, and the scientist was stumped. He couldn’t figure it out.
Since then, of course, it’s been figured out. But the story got out and it was said that science really doesn’t explain anything, and of course bumble bees can fly, because God (or whatever) made them perfect.
Over the years that has morphed into the glurgy notion that bees don’t know their limitations, and so they accomplish what Science tells them they can’t. The metaphor being, of course, that we too should ignore our limitations and achieve greatness.
I’m actually totally on board with the message. It just happens to come attached to a stupid, stupid story.
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### Author:  [@Ronald\_C.Semone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ronald_C.Semone)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/31 "2010-01-07T00:37:24Z")
“Experience is the best teacher.” Nonsense. A good teacher is the best teacher.
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### Author:  [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/32 "2010-01-07T00:37:56Z")
> [@tdn](#):
>
> There’s a larger story to it.
I’m familiar with that, but your aphorism was about how nobody could explain how they \*can’t \*fly, wasn’t it? Kind of like not being able to explain why cows can’t give milk.
Perhaps I misunderstood.
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### Author:  [@NJ\_Kef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NJ_Kef)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/33 "2010-01-07T00:41:48Z")
Or as Benjamin Franklin put it: “Experience is a dear school, but a fool will learn in no other.”
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### Author:  [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/34 "2010-01-07T00:53:56Z")
The “self-evident truth” that “_all men are created equal, (and) are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness_.”
Terrific, heart-warming hyperbole and useful rhetoric.
Utterly wrong. Apparently Tom didn’t get out much.
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### Author:  [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/35 "2010-01-07T01:26:28Z")
> [@Red\_Skeezix](#):
>
> That’s one that is often misquoted, I believe it is actually “That which does not destroy you…” Which has slightly different connotations and isn’t limited to simple death.
That would make more sense.
Terry Pratchet’s take (in _Carpe Jugulum_) is “…but what _does_ kill me makes me dead.”
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### Author:  [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/36 "2010-01-07T01:36:24Z")
> [@Chief\_Pedant](#):
>
> The “self-evident truth” that “_all men are created equal, (and) are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness_.”
>
> Terrific, heart-warming hyperbole and useful rhetoric.
>
> Utterly wrong. Apparently Tom didn’t get out much.
I thought the point was that all men were _morally_ equal; that is, you didn’t deserve something just because you were born a noble, or didn’t because you were born a commoner.
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### Author:  [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/37 "2010-01-07T01:43:55Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#):
>
> Very interesting book by Martin Seligman (Seligman’s the guy who did all the ‘‘learned helplessness’’ studies on dogs and later, people) called ‘‘Learned Optimism.’’ I did a [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=508628&highlight=optimism) on this book a while back if you’re interested…
>
> So the answer is that having to deal with a lot of shit can create pessimistic people, but that’s really no excuse for being a pessimist. 😉
>
> ‘‘That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger’’ is one of my favorite Nietzsche quotes and I have found it to be basically true, in the long-term. But the strength isn’t really a gimme; it’s something you’ve gotta consciously create.
>
> Another great Nietzsche quote is ‘‘He who has a why to live can bear almost any how,’’ and it’s frequently trumpeted by the great trauma psychologist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl, so I think it gets a pass. Nietzsche was no optimist. He was a suffering man struggling to find meaning in his life.
>
> (I believe I can be deeply pessimistic in the short-term, such as my own contribution to this thread, but I have a very optimistic attitude in the long-term, which has ultimately led to a happier, healthier life.)
>
> **Anne** , I agree about the mindless platitudes thing, I mentioned that in the Seligman thread – irrationally positive thoughts have not been shown to help people. In general those who see failures as temporary, only affecting a small part of their life, and not their own fault are more likely to succeed.
Wow, **Olivemarch4th** , that resonates with me on a number of levels.
I completely missed your threead about the book. I think that learned helplessness explains a lot about our lives here in North America… and my own history in particular. I learned when I was young that I had less power than those around me, and the attitude just carried on through my life, untill I got sick of it and wanted to change it. I think that being skipped ahead a grade in school, and hence always a year less developed than those arounf me, had a significant effect on me.
We grow up thinking these things are like the unchangeable climate of our minds. But I just finished [The Brain That Changes Itself](http://www.amazon.com/Brain-That-Changes-Itself-Frontiers/dp/0143113100/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1262828038&sr=8-1), and it goes a long way towards explaining why it’s so hard to change a habit: the more often we think something, the more the patterns of nreves and whatnot in our brains adapt to that thought, and the easier is is to think it. The book looks at people who’d trained their minds to do all sorts of apparently-impossible things, like compensate for balance organs destroyed by disease using sensors on the tongue.
Consciously creating one’s strength? That’s a revolutionary thought in itself.
We had to read some Victor Frankl in school and it just went right by me at the time; it’d be interesting to reread it now.
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### Author:  [@Chief\_Pedant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Pedant)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/38 "2010-01-07T02:01:07Z")
> [@Lumpy](#):
>
> I thought the point was that all men were _morally_ equal; that is, you didn’t deserve something just because you were born a noble, or didn’t because you were born a commoner.
Actually I think his point was that all men are of equal value in some absolute sense; that is to say the peasant is not less intrinsically valuable than the nobleman. Again, lovely rhetoric but meaningless. And quite a number of peasants have given their lives for noblemen to prove how inaccurate the statement is. Along with the Rights being endowed part.
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### Author:  [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/39 "2010-01-07T02:32:27Z")
> [@Lumpy](#):
>
> I thought the point was that all men were _morally_ equal; that is, you didn’t deserve something just because you were born a noble, or didn’t because you were born a commoner.
But if you were born black, or born a woman, on the other hand…
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### Author:  [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)
#### Post date: [January 7, 2010, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-completely-false-cliche-aphorism/523957/40 "2010-01-07T03:01:15Z")
\*Love means never having to say you’re sorry.
\*
Riiiiiiiight. Actually, though, I think this doesn’t really fit the OP, because hasn’t it become an example of something widely recognized as \*not \*true?
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