# Most dead-seeming animals? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 16, 2009, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999 "2009-10-16T05:20:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/1 "2009-10-16T05:20:08Z")
I am writing a book about slackers, and want to include a chapter on the best pets for slackers. My basic premise is that the harder it is to distingish the pet from a dead animal or an inanimate object, the better a pet it would make for a slacker. I’ve already thought of pet rocks and Chia Pets, thank you. Other than them, I’m pretty sure there are some small lizards that would fit the bill. Can anyone help me with some more specific suggestions? Also – worst pets for slackers? I’m thinking dogs would be worst, because of all the walking and wanting to play, but again, if you can some really really high-maintenance pets, that would be great! ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/2 "2009-10-16T05:23:07Z")
I always thought an ant farm would be fairly low maintenance. I guess you have to feed them, but if you don’t and they all die, does anyone really care? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Haunted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/898d66/32.png) [@Haunted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/3 "2009-10-16T11:28:52Z")
How about air ferns? They look like houseplants and you don’t have to water them. Turns out they’re > [@](#): > > …dead and dried colonies of hydrozoans, colonies of marine hydroids, class Hydrozoa, phylum Cnidaria. > **[Air fern](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_fern)** > > The air fern (Sertularia argentea) is a dead and dried colony of hydrozoans, a species of marine animal in the family Sertulariidae related to corals and jellyfish. > Air ferns are typically dyed green and sold as a curiosity, as a decorative "indoor plant"; the same skeletons of former colonies of hydroids are sold in their natural dried state as the sea fir and Neptune plant as underwater decorations for aquariums. > Despite a superficial resemblance to plants, air ferns are actually animal ske... ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/4 "2009-10-16T11:47:58Z")
Turtles, definitely turtles. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/5 "2009-10-16T12:02:24Z")
Fossils. Or examples of taxadermy. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/6 "2009-10-16T12:10:52Z")
A sloth for a mammal. For non-mammals, a [sponge](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sponge). For worst? A shrew or a hummingbird perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/7 "2009-10-16T12:12:47Z")
When I was a kid I had a hermit crab. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/8 "2009-10-16T12:29:24Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Fossils. > > Or examples of taxadermy. Not _actually_ dead animals – I’m looking for animals that _seem_ dead, unless you watch them for a long time. IOW, a pet analog _of_ a serious slacker. Turtles are a good thought. Sloths seem good in theory – are there really small ones? I know I didn’t specify size, but well… Do they crap much? (BTW, I can appreciate if you’re not a sloth expert, let alone a sloth crap expert.) ---
**Author:** ![Haunted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/898d66/32.png) [@Haunted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/9 "2009-10-16T12:32:48Z")
Eh. You’ll thank me when you get to the chapter on decorating and low-maintenance houseplants. ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/10 "2009-10-16T12:42:18Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Sloths seem good in theory …Do they crap much? …not sure I can back this up, but I remember seeing a special about sloths that demonstrated that they will wait until it rains to evacuate. The handlers would spray them with a hose to simulate rain in captivity. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/11 "2009-10-16T12:43:46Z")
> [@Haunted](#): > > Eh. You’ll thank me when you get to the chapter on decorating and low-maintenance houseplants. I’ll thank you now for playing our game. I never really gave any thought to plants, which all seem pretty equally low maintenance. But if I’m gonna suggest seomthing already dead, I may as well go with some cheap molded platic thing. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/12 "2009-10-16T12:46:31Z")
A coral? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/13 "2009-10-16T12:51:34Z")
The problem with any of the marine options is that even though the animals fit the bill, there’s a lot of fiddlyness in terms of water quality, pH, etc that has to be dealt with. For land animals, cockroaches? Maybe a 17-year cicada larva? ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/14 "2009-10-16T12:59:02Z")
I had no idea ‘slacker’ was still in use – I thought it died back in the nineties or so. I guess I’m too lazy to look it up. Pardon me while I go check out my SeaMonkeys. ---
**Author:** ![Haunted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/898d66/32.png) [@Haunted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/15 "2009-10-16T13:06:56Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I’ll thank you now for playing our game. I never really gave any thought to plants, which all seem pretty equally low maintenance. But if I’m gonna suggest seomthing already dead, I may as well go with some cheap molded platic thing. You’re welcome. And I think you’re right about the plastic plants. They’re perfect for slackers. Plastic fruit would also be good. Since a slacker is not gonna eat fruit anyway, it saves all the trouble of going to the store and then throwing it into the crisper to let it rot. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/16 "2009-10-16T13:13:49Z")
Get some mud and put a clam in it. It will be perfectly happy. Koalas seem rather dead–the ones at our zoo don’t move much and if you ask me the zoo director just got a few teddy bears and stuck them in the Eucalyptus trees. ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/17 "2009-10-16T13:29:26Z")
Pac man frog. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/18 "2009-10-16T14:52:42Z")
> [@SiXSwordS](#): > > …not sure I can back this up, but I remember seeing a special about sloths that demonstrated that they will wait until it rains to evacuate. The handlers would spray them with a hose to simulate rain in captivity. Also - when I visited an animal park that had a sloth in an area where people could get pretty close, they specifically prevented people from getting close to the sloth. Seems the critters might not be moving much, but if your head got within reach, they might make a quick swipe at it, gouging a couple of furrows in your scalp. Not good pet material! ---
**Author:** ![SiXSwordS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/49beb7/32.png) [@SiXSwordS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SiXSwordS)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/19 "2009-10-16T14:56:19Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > .. if your head got within reach, they might make a quick swipe at it, gouging a couple of furrows in your scalp. Not good pet material! But you’d be safe on the couch, right? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999/20 "2009-10-16T15:05:27Z")
> [@KRC](#): > > Get some mud and put a clam in it. It will be perfectly happy. > > Koalas seem rather dead–the ones at our zoo don’t move much and if you ask me the zoo director just got a few teddy bears and stuck them in the Eucalyptus trees. Except then you have to maintain the mud – you’d probably have to water it more than daily to keep it muddy. I’ll add koalas to the list, but I’d guess it would take a lot of work to import one as a pet. Australian slackers, though, might be interested. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-dead-seeming-animals/513999.md?page=2)