# Most Despised Video Game "Allies" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 22, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008 "2007-06-22T15:39:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/41 "2007-06-23T18:35:54Z")
I’m not sure if this is what you’re looking for, but in Civ III, I hate forming an alliance with Gandhi. He is absolutely worthless. He never actually sends any troops when you’re attacked, and as often as not, he makes a deal with your enemy for free passage over his territory. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/42 "2007-06-23T20:39:02Z")
[QUOTE=Jayn\_Newell] For worst though, I’d have to go with Brother. [/QUOTE] There’s one part of X-2 where he collapses on the floor for some reason (I haven’t played it in a while, and can’t remember), and if you walk over him, he goes ‘ow’, ‘oof’, ‘argh’ etc. Guess what I always end up spending a half hour doing? ---
**Author:** ![some\_white\_dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b487fb/32.png) [@some\_white\_dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/some_white_dude)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/43 "2007-06-23T21:37:57Z")
Juhani from Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic pissed me off a couple of times. You could choose a Jedi class for your character, and certain classes came with certain abilities. Juhani was a Jedi Guardian, which gave her the ability to instantly leap over moderate distances to fight the enemy, provided she had a clear path. The problem was, unless you chose the Guardian class for your character, she was the only one in the party with this ability. She got my party killed on more than one occasion by jumping ahead, getting ganged up on and dying, thereby leaving my party considerably weaker. Stupid Juhani. Shoulda killed her in the grove when I had the chance… [QUOTE=Liberal] I’m not sure if this is what you’re looking for, but in Civ III, I hate forming an alliance with Gandhi. He is absolutely worthless. He never actually sends any troops when you’re attacked, and as often as not, he makes a deal with your enemy for free passage over his territory. [/QUOTE] There’s a simple solution to this. Step 1: Sign Right of Passage. Step 2: Place tanks next to his cities. Step 3: Profit! ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/44 "2007-06-23T21:51:39Z")
Captain fucking Keyes in Halo. His speech goes like this: "OK, men. I am the only person here who can put a stop to this alien armada. Granted, we have the galaxy’s foremost warrior with us, and, granted, he’s got armor and force shields and some huge-ass guns, but only the neural implant in my fat, overweight, tactically-unsound body can win the day for us. Since I have no armor and do not move very quickly, \*\*I must be protected at all costs. \*\*Do you hear me? At all costs. Without me, the galaxy is doomed. “Right, then. Give me that useless half-empty weapon. I’m on point.” What the FUCK? I can remember throwing my beer at the television, then a half-filled ashtray, then a book, then whatever else was within reach every time that moron ran right past me, charging into the room with Invisible Sword Guy. With idiots like him in charge, no wonder humanity was getting its ass handed to it by Grunts. ---
**Author:** ![Baffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dec6dc/32.png) [@Baffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baffle)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/45 "2007-06-23T22:30:22Z")
Navi’s advice is brief, at least. I hated that stupid owl ten times more. ---
**Author:** ![Carnick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carnick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnick)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2007, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/46 "2007-06-23T23:36:57Z")
[QUOTE=bubastis] Natalia in GoldenEye for N64… to the best of my knowledge, wasnt she one of the earliest NPC in videogames? [/QUOTE] No. ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/47 "2007-06-24T00:49:28Z")
> [@Pithy Moniker](#): > > Then there’s Ormus from Diablo II. Ormus refers to himself in the third person and annoys the hell out of Pithy Moniker. At least Ormus didn’t follow you everywhere. Deckard Cain and his endless spiel about how to use the Horadric Cube I created several frickin’ levels ago was much more annoying. My most hated “allies” though have to be everyone, including Snake, in Metal Gear Solid 2. Seriously, 11 hours of “gameplay” and I swear 9 of it was spent on the phone or on cutscenes. Shut up and let me play! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/48 "2007-06-24T00:58:03Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup] Captain fucking Keyes in Halo. His speech goes like this: "OK, men. I am the only person here who can put a stop to this alien armada. Granted, we have the galaxy’s foremost warrior with us, and, granted, he’s got armor and force shields and some huge-ass guns, but only the neural implant in my fat, overweight, tactically-unsound body can win the day for us. Since I have no armor and do not move very quickly, \*\*I must be protected at all costs. \*\*Do you hear me? At all costs. Without me, the galaxy is doomed. “Right, then. Give me that useless half-empty weapon. I’m on point.” What the FUCK? I can remember throwing my beer at the television, then a half-filled ashtray, then a book, then whatever else was within reach every time that moron ran right past me, charging into the room with Invisible Sword Guy. With idiots like him in charge, no wonder humanity was getting its ass handed to it by Grunts. [/QUOTE] He was a fuckwit. I remember having to zigzag around his head with the sniper rifle to kill that fucking invisible Elite. Glad THAT’S in the past… ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/49 "2007-06-24T05:27:30Z")
[QUOTE=bubastis] Natalia in GoldenEye for N64… to the best of my knowledge, wasnt she one of the earliest NPC in videogames? [/QUOTE] :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/50 "2007-06-24T05:49:54Z")
[QUOTE=Brainiac4] Qara in NWN2, although it’s partly my fault. I took Prismatic Spray, and she casts it all the damn time… even when the rest of the party is in the cone of effect. She’s the best offensive spellcaster in the damn game, and I can’t take her along unless I manually cast every spell. [/QUOTE] I hear ya. She’s annoying to talk with, too. I think that the only way to make Qara halfway-useful in combat is to use the cheat codes to pare down her spell list so she doesn’t cast any useless spells. Grobnar is irritating as hell, too. They’re supposed to have high charisma scores, dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/51 "2007-06-24T06:52:24Z")
I’m going old school here. Akbar Bel Akash from _Curse of the Azure Bonds_. He’s on your side and in every fight BAM! Fireball right in your face. ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 7:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/52 "2007-06-24T07:01:34Z")
I nominate Ian from the first _Fallout._ Never give him a gun with a burst mode, because it’s a guarantee that you’ll end up with 80% of everything he fires in the back of your own head. ---
**Author:** ![brendon\_small](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brendon_small/32/17101_2.png) [@brendon\_small](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brendon_small)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/53 "2007-06-24T07:27:34Z")
[QUOTE=Carl Corey] Are you kidding? I loved that feature. (I played the PC version.) It is so much better than an ally who runs right into the middle of a firefight and dies. I don’t recall him running away either, he just crouches and cowers. [/QUOTE] Well, maybe I just got extra angry at him, but I do remember having to go back around the corner and down the hall to find him cowering. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he did it only when he was shot at or something, but he did it every damn time there was gunfire - IIRC, even when I shot. Other than that, it was a great game for as cheap as it was. Some of the things also sucked about it, but not bad enough to make me stop playing - of course the scientist didn’t make me stop either, just made me angry. Brendon Small ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Some\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ad7895/32.png) [@Just\_Some\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Some_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/54 "2007-06-24T07:29:59Z")
[QUOTE=Sitnam] I’m going old school here. Akbar Bel Akash from _Curse of the Azure Bonds_. He’s on your side and in every fight BAM! Fireball right in your face. [/QUOTE] What is it with D&D games and crappy NPC spellcasters. It’s almost a given that they’re going to go out of their way to kill you. IIRC, Pool of Radiance didn’t have allied NPCs in combat (at least none come to mind off the top of my head) but once they show up in Bonds they start a path of PC hating destruction that has run for twenty years. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/55 "2007-06-24T07:32:44Z")
[QUOTE=bubastis] Natalia in GoldenEye for N64… to the best of my knowledge, wasnt she one of the earliest NPC in videogames? [/QUOTE] A NPC means non-player character, so no, she’s not. But I think what you really mean to say is, that she’s one of the first “ally” characters that you have to escort around in a mission. Whether this is true or not I don’t know. I’d doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![Carl\_Corey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Carl\_Corey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carl_Corey)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2007, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008/56 "2007-06-24T12:51:17Z")
[QUOTE=brendon\_small] Well, maybe I just got extra angry at him, but I do remember having to go back around the corner and down the hall to find him cowering. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he did it only when he was shot at or something, but he did it every damn time there was gunfire - IIRC, even when I shot. [/QUOTE] Yeah, but I \*\*liked \*\* that feature. I could just shoot and have Dr. Schenker stay there and cower while I cleared out all the baddies in front. Come back, get the doctor, and go merrily on our way. After all of stupid Keyes-esque allies I’ve had to put up with, that was nice. Of course, it’s probably just a difference in our play styles. YMMV and all that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-despised-video-game-allies/409008.md?page=2)