I always thought there was only one possible answer to this question: HIGHLANDER 2. Maybe the first film didn’t have the same impact outside Scotland, but it made being Scottish seem eternal and groovy at a time when we were really just getting the life kicked out of us and proving ourselves no better at defending our oil than we’d been at keeping our land. Suddenly it all vanished and we were immortals, with none of the darkness and perversity of the vampire: this was no curse, it was a fresh, bright morning of a movie. It was really quite lovely. Then along came the sequel… I mean, what? WHAT? They’re from SPACE? Since when were aliens called MacLeod? After fifty years of sci-fi we’re still starting planet names with the letter ‘Z’? And then getting SEAN CONNERY of all people to try and say them?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH.
I’m sorry about that. Maybe it’s a Scottish thing.
I suppose what happens is we all write our own fan-fiction between the gaps in the movies we see. Our imaginations grab films and conjure sequels and worlds far more astonishing than anything a screenwriter will be able to measure up to. Poor gentle M. Lambert has never really recovered.
And The Search for Spock was rubbish, too. So bruised have I been by these vandalisms that I find myself unable even to give City of Angels a chance. “Far away, So Close!” was a breathtaking movie, and remaking it in the US and giving Cassiel a love interest is a stinky idea.
How 'bout most dissappointing movie you’ve never seen? I’ve been pysched for “Shadow of the Vampire” for months, but before I even see it everybody (here, in reviews, etc.) is dissappointed for me in advance. Well, maybe if I go in with lowered expectations, I’ll actually enjoy it. Worked for “Hannibal”.
From "Hairspray?! All his best movies were before that.
Although I did like “Pecker” but maybe that’s just because I’m a photographer.
I agree with King Rat. I was disappointed in “The Usual Suspects”, too. Yes, I saw the ending. Yeah, I know what was going on. I was still disappointed.
“Black Widow” – people said this had a “twist” ending, but it didn’t. If you thought that was a twist ending, you don’t know what a “twist” is. “The Usual Suspects” had a twist ending (but one that didn’t work for me). A Twist ending forces you to re-evaluate what you THOUGHT was going on through the movie. “Sixth Sense” had a good twist. So did “Body Heat” and “The Last of Sheila” and “Sleuth” and “Charade” and “Mirage”. The Jules Verne books “Around the World in 80 Days” and “Michael Strogoff” had twists.
There’s nobody out there who wants to chip in on the Dungeons and Dragons movie? No-one else who, having been promised such a movie since early teenagerhood, dragged a bunch of geeky friends to opeining night, and sat horrified as all of the potential adventure and majesty of the game got reduced to the stupidest possible Hollywood cliches set in an almost nonexistent script? Nobody was outraged at the complete absence of any of the redeeming qualities of the game? Nobody appalled at the plethora of stereotypical homosexual villains, one of whom sported dashing periwinkle lipstick? Nobody offended by the stereotypical portrayal of dwarves, even?
I am shocked and amazed that no one has mentioned “Unbearable” oops, I meant “Unbreakable”.
No, wait, I meant unbearable.
Ye Gods, I thought it was never going to get to the point. It just went on and on. And when it FINALY did get to the point, it ended with a stupid text description of how things worked out. It was if the Director, (Whos’ name I will make NO attempt at spelling) got as tired of the whole thing as I was by the end.
I had to be physicaly restrained from going up to the projectionist booth and shredding the film during Highlander 4.
I should have known better, but I had hopes for that film. sigh
All right, disappointments for me: Phantom Menace: reasons already listed. Eyes Wide Shut: it was interesting to study (film major, here), but didn’t live up. Dancer In the Dark: I have a friend with the nasty habit of hyping movies beyond belief. He called this “the best movie ever made.” I liked it (I like Dogma 95’s work), but was very disappointed.
Depends what version you saw. If you saw the 90-minute, studio-cut-to-shit “Love Conquers All” version, then I’d agree with you. But Gilliam’s original 142 minute is one of my faves (visually stunning). But yeah, I know it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
As is Kevin Smith (come on, you knew I was going to comment on this). Clerks was great, Mallrats was messed up by the studio and Smith letting them (and yeah, I was disappointed), but Chasing Amy is easily better than Clerks.
Though, I was let down by Dogma. I had made the mistake of reading the script beforehand, and some of the scenes I was most excited about got cut. I still liked it, though.
And I really liked High Fidelity.
Phantom Menace, for many reasons, most given. A quick run down - Jar Jar, please! The kid who played Anakin couldn’t act his way out of paper bag. The ridiculous biological explanation for being able to manipulate the Force, in effect turning its back on the Joseph Campbell influence which permeated the other films. The ending was absolutely anti-climactic - the other movies left you feeling like some great evil was conquered - or was on the rise and needing another film. This one left me wondering why the hell it took so long to put out a piece of dooky.
Mission to Mars - being a space buff, I really wanted this one to be good. Really. Too long. Too dull. And Gary Sinise was forced to make some of the goofiest, sappiest expressions while staring into his own palm, ever put on film. He deserves better. Connie Neilsen, however, is a bonafide hotty.
I think this thread must have to do with the Hollywood hype machine and our own personal preferences. At least I hope so, because many of the films mentioned I have enjoyed quite a bit.
Personally for me, I’d have to say UNBREAKABLE.
I was a huge fan of THE SIXTH SENSE. It was actually my second favorite film of 1999, outside of THE MATRIX. (I know I just lost quite a bit of you there.) So I had high hopes for UNBREAKABLE.
And damn was I disappointed. I knew it was going to be similar to THE SIXTH SENSE, but I didn’t know it was going to be the exact same movie with different plot points. Just goes to show you that everything is subject to the law of diminishing returns. Same tone, same mood, same actors, same annoying kid as a major character. . .
But I’ll tell you what I really hated. This was a revisionist movie trying to “make sense” of comic book superheroes. I hold comic books very near and dear to my heart. Comics are an entirely different art form than movies or text. Unfortunately, most comics have been ghettoized into superhero comics, and that’s what most people think of them. So we have this major motion picture bringing comics back into the national mainstream, and all it does is try to legitamize “superheroes”. Fuck superheroes and their fans, they’re ruining comics. If you want to see a good version of revisionist superheroism, read WATCHMEN.
Okay, end rant. I was just very, very disappointed. I hear they’re planning on two more sequels to this movie. What do you say to something like that?
The Black Hole Sci-Fi Classic, or so I was lead to beleive. It had an all-star cast: Maximilian Schell, Anthony Perkins, Ernest Borgnine, Robert Forster. Allegedly it had really good Special effects (for it’s day).
Last month it was on TV and I sat down to watch it. 90 minutes of my life I can’t get back. Conversly, I last week watched Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo and I have to admit that was a great movie contrary to my initial expectations.
Highlander 2 (Thanks, Ross!) This might be the most dissapointing film of all time, and I forgot to list it. I must have been blocking out the pain. The only reason to EVER watch this festering pile of maggot ridden dogshit is to then get more enjoyment out of reviews like this one (posted in another thread).
Drowning Mona. I expected so much more out of this one. Further proof that a great cast cannot compensate for a crappy director.
You’re right, Sealemon88 - I thoroughly enjoyed the review you mentioned, and I now feel a little more validated. I was so alone, for so very, very long.
But if you still need cheering up, here’s something that might help you, and which made me realise that however badly abused WE may have been by the second movie (I’m still in therapy), others are far worse off. I was flicking through a TV Guide a few years ago and it turned out some channel was running Highlander. The comment describing the movie - I kid you not - described MacLeod as a TIME-TRAVELLING immortal. It took me a few seconds to get it, but then I understood: this poor clown was so thrown by the flashback scenes that he had actually read them as a matter of time-travel instead. I can only begin to imagine how confusing THAT must have been. What would Pulp Fiction have done to him?