I went with Long John Silvers mostly for just one incident. A bunch of us were on a road trip in a friend’s RV, and I talked them into stopping at at Long Johns. I don’t know if it was this particular location or what, but everybody’s food was absolutely terrible. The gang made me the butt of lousy-pirate-food jokes for the rest of the trip and for years afterwards.
It’s interesting to me that Applebee’s has a ton of votes whereas Chili’s and T.G.I. Friday’s have barely any, because to me those are basically all the same restaurant. Perhaps I am missing some nuance.
Red Lobster: I worked there for a long time.
But second would be McDonald’s for what they have done to the corporatization of food &farming
I picked Taco Bell, with Denny’s as a close second.
I used to really like Taco Bell in college. The one near my school was tasty, the cheese tasted like cheese, the beans tasted like beans, and the tortillas tasted like tortillas. That’s seriously all I asked of it. I like plain bean/cheese burritos.
Lately, though (in the last 10 years or so) they’ve changed their recipe (probably to save money) and their beans taste like dishwater, the cheese tastes like nothing, and the tortilla tastes like cardboard. Ugh. I can’t even finish them anymore. They’re not bad per se…they’re just nothing.
Denny’s is vile. I won’t voluntarily go there anymore.
Another choice, which wasn’t on the list, is Little Caesar’s. Pizza should not taste like nothing any more than burritos should.
I was going to vote for Olive Garden until I saw Golden Corral on there. Not only does that place have awful memories for me from high school, the food is absolutely disgusting, yet for some reason I ate it anyway. Crusty, hard-edged jello, wilty, sometimes gooey lettuce. Ugh.
But they have all-you-can-eat baby back ribs for under $10, served by smarmy, smirky college kids with tons of attitude!
I neglected to mention that Mr. HP is also a Chinese chef, so we’re probably a little more critical than most. But nobody should get away with bone-filled dumplings! 
Waffle House is out to kill everyone.
We don’t have a lot of these chains. I voted for KFC. I don’t like Pizza Hutt & Dominos either - & only like McD’s breakfasts.
Dude, Olive Garden might not be authentic Italian, but it’s manna from heaven compared to the shiite you get from CiCi’s “pizza”.
Though the worst food you can purchase at a place with a kitchen is the pizza from upChuck E Cheese. But one really doesn’t go there to eat, you go there to let the kids run wild for a few hours.
Now… where’s that vomit smilie?
I’ve eaten at nearly all these, and the work day is almost over, so what the hell:
T.G.I. Friday’s: Bland, institutional food. Like paying full price for the school cafeteria.
Chili’s: Like their burger, fries, and chicken tenders.
Applebee’s: Bland, like Friday’s, but… I once had one of the better steaks of my life there. I don’t know if I got the good one, or if I was particularly hungry, or my blood iron at near-death levels, but the friggin’ steak was delicious. All my other experiences, however, have been akin to Friday’s.
O’Charley’s: Never cared for them, but their rolls were pretty good.
Olive Garden: Expensive, but the family likes the salad and breadsticks.
Outback Steakhouse: We discovered my wife was pregnant at an Outbacks when she ate an entire Bloomin’ Onion by herself in less than 3 minutes. So it gets a pass.
Lone Star Steakhouse: Never been there but maybe once on a road trip.
KFC: Loved it as a kid, can stand it now on occassion. If I have to go fast-food chain, I much prefer Popeye’s spicy chicken, however. Of course, my chicken that I cook at home is much superior.
McDonald’s: I can eat there for $3.28, and the food makes me fill full for an entire day. It’s a win-lose-win!
Burger King: Haven’t been in years.
P.F. Chang’s: When your other choices are Panda Express and Golden Wok, you will earn an appreciation for PF Changs.
Joe’s Crab Shack: Over-priced, under-sized. Fuck 'em.
Red Lobster: Blech. Boring.
Wendy’s: See McDonalds. Except add a dollar for the Jr. Frosty, which makes Wendy’s a cut above.
Long John Silver’s: When the crumbs are better than the food, watch out!
Rally’s/Checker’s: Don’t eat there enough to have an opinion.
Big Boy: See Burger King.
Domino’s Pizza: See Burger King.
Pizza Hut: I’m one of those… I actually like their thin-crust pizzas. I do apologize.
Papa John’s: I prefer Pizza Hut, so what the hell do I know?
CiCi’s: Their motto: We’re cheaper than Fazoli’s! My response: They suck too!
Taco Bell: Run to the border, then run to the bathroom!
Golden Corral: The best thing I can say about GC is that it (and Ruby Tuesday’s) is the best restaurant in Douglas, Georgia.
Del Taco: Are they still open?
Cracker Barrel: My wife likes their breakfast. I like my wife. But I can make a better, cheaper ham and egg breakfast anyday.
Jack in the Box: JitB does a lot of advertising with my company, so GO JACK! Food is OK… it’s one of those places where you wonder “why did this succeed enough for the second restaurant?”
Bob Evan’s: They have good sausage.
Denny’s: Remember when they wouldn’t serve black people? That’s all I’ve got to say.
IHOP: It’s a good place to take the toddler - they like the happy face pancake.
Steak and Shake: Good family memories there, and I enjoy the food. It’s nothing to write home about, but I enjoy it. Sue me.
Whichever one had the killing stations and silver-tounged evil connectors.
ETA: That link is about a man being forced to marry a goat, which may not be something you want to read. {twickster, Cafe Society moderator}
I usually know what I’m getting at these places so I’m rarely disappointed. However, I ate at a Ruby Tuesday’s once and recall everything on my plate was the same color. Institutional beige. It’s like they took a TV dinner, breaded it, and deep fried it. Horrible.
I’m a cheap date (or a Poor Simple Minded Thing) because I actually like all of the restaurants mentioned and would jump at the chance to go to them. This is because we are always cash-poor and I just don’t do much cooking any more. The only complaints I have are: too much bacon cheeseburgers everywhere. I suppose that’s what men gotta have, hamburg, bacon, cheese, and fries fries fries. Blecch! And WAY WAY too salty, everywhere! I love Red Lobster, not that you get much, but as fish and other seafood is being decimated in the oceans, it’s not surprising you pay an awful lot for small portions. The only place I really loathe is McDonald’s. I really, really loathe McDonalds for many reasons. Their coffee with whipped cream and their making over their restaurants to look like nice places doesn’t fool me, it’s still the home of the red vinyl haired freak.
Lone Star is actually quite good.
Denny’s has the tasty Moon Over My Hammy.
Bob Evans jumped on the Atkins Diet bandwagon a few years back with the all-meat & eggs “Protein Lover’s Breakfast.”
My experience with Golden Corral usually seems to feature a homeless guy stuffing himself for the long haul. It would be an economical choice.
I don’t go to any of those restaurants to eat good food. I go because they’re close, and open weird hours. If I wanted to be WOWED by my food, I know where to find it.
That being said, I voted for Chili’s. Every goddamn thing on their menu is spicy. Yes, to me BBQ sauce is spicy. Hell, ketchup can be too spicy for me. Horseradish, arugula, chipotle, chile ranch, jalapeno. Fuck you.
So, their name is Chili’s. If we’re going to play that game, fine. I’m going across the street to Applebees, which is the same menu minus the ridiculous spices.
Tell her to head to Williamsburg if she is anywhere in the Hampton Roads area. We have about 7-10 mexican restaurants in town that have just gotten progressively better each time one opens. All but one appear to be run by mexicans or at least have the entire kitchen run by them. I have only been dissapointed by one of them and even then it was at least authentic. You also might want to mention to her that if the kitchen is run by the ethnic group of the food she is eating but the menu doesn’t seem authentic, she can often ask “I’ll have what the kitchen is having.” I do that often at crappy whole-in-the-wall chinese places and end up with kick-ass food.
The first K.F.C. I ever had was in Washington D.C. and it was excellent.
On returning home to the U.K. one of the first things I did was to have another K.F.C., it was dripping with grease.
After that didn’t bother having one for a good few years but finally relented and had one at another outlet…it was dripping with grease.
Few years later the same story.
I wont bother again.
Cracker Barrel should win by a landslide. There is nothing I like more than eating in a gift shop to support a homophobic racist company. Oh and any restaurant that serves buttermilk as a drink should be burned to the ground.
For the amount of people that end up stabbed, beaten, etc. at Chuckie Cheese’s and Waffle House they should really get an honorable mention. There might actually be something evil about them, not just crappy food.