# Most hilariously bad song ever? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 18, 2009, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891 "2009-01-18T21:12:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Will\_Repair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a698b9/32.png) [@Will\_Repair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Will_Repair)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/101 "2009-01-20T20:52:17Z")
Came out in country and western language as Music Soothes the Savage Beast. (Heck, even the writers of the Partridge Family got it right for an episode about a sick horse.) ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/102 "2009-01-20T21:01:03Z")
What? no “love” for [Biz markie?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJHnRtZkiHo) What is the world coming to? ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/103 "2009-01-20T21:07:08Z")
Stan Bush’s “The Touch,” from the Transformers movie soundtrack. Made famous by [Mark Wahlberg as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYAAbbuEpnw). I thought it was a joke song, but I was amazed to learn it was a real song! ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/104 "2009-01-20T21:07:54Z")
> [@Dosipede](#): > > I almost forgot [Treat Your Mother Right](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_rBidCkJxo) by Mr. T. Lyrics by Ice-T. Seriously. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/105 "2009-01-20T21:09:50Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Lyrics by Ice-T. Seriously. I’ve never known Ice-T for his taste. Look at his wife. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![akrako1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@akrako1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akrako1)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/106 "2009-01-20T22:04:25Z")
I’m surprised it hasn’t been mentioned yet, but “My Ding-A-Ling” by Chuck Berry is frequently at the top of most ‘worst songs of all time’ lists. It’s pretty hilariously bad if you ask me: > [@](#): > > My Ding-A-Ling-A-Ling > > When I was a little biddy boy > My grandma bought me a cute little toy > Two Silver bells on a string > She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling > > My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won’t you play with My Ding-A-Ling > My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won’t you play with My Ding-A-Ling > > When I was little boy In Grammar school > Always went by the very best rule > But Evertime the bell would ring > You’d catch me playing with my ding-a-ling > > Once while climbing the garden wall, > Slipped and fell had a very bad fall > I fell so hard I heard birds sing, > But I held on to My ding-a-ling > > Once while swimming cross turtle creek > Man them snappers right at my feet > Sure was hard swimming cross that thing > with both hands holding my dingaling > > Now this here song it ain’t so bad > Prettiest little song that you ever had > And those of you who will not sing > You must be playing with your own ding a ling > > Oh my ding a ling, my ding a ling > Now my ding a, oh my ding a > I wanna play with my ding a ling ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2009, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/107 "2009-01-20T23:58:11Z")
> [@jackdavinci](#): > > And whatever that “this shit is bananas” song was, both inherently and for it’s YTMND send up. That’s the aforementioned [_Hollaback Girl_](http://www.elyrics.net/read/g/gwen-stefani-lyrics/hollaback-girl-lyrics.html). ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/108 "2009-01-21T00:38:41Z")
I give you the horror of [Louis Farrakhan, Calypso singer.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL2D8aFO61w) There used to be a site that had all his songs, but it seems to be gone now. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/109 "2009-01-21T00:45:06Z")
It’s a deep album cut, but “Rosta Man” _(sic)_ from Vanilla Ice’s _To The Extreme_ is unbelievably, laughably bad. It features Ice singing and toasting, both of which he is far worse at than rapping, believe it or not. [**Don’t say I didn’t warn you.**](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTOFLXOo-r4) ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/110 "2009-01-21T02:14:15Z")
> [@CookingWithGas](#): > > I have tried to find the name of the song but apparently the original B-side was banned by Capitol Records, and descriptions of Touch Me which replaced it don’t seem to jive; there were no discernable lyrics to what I heard. “Open Your Box.” It’s 1,000 times better than “Power to the People.” For whatever that’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![tds1273](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@tds1273](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tds1273)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/111 "2009-01-21T04:11:22Z")
How has R.Kelly’s hiphopera(:smack:) classic [“Trapped in the Closet”](http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=trapped+in+the+closet&aq=f) not been brought up? Epic in its fail, especially if you care to count all of the 22 chapters as being the same song. Extra credit to Kelly for his (i believe) sincere, yet utterly surreal and [schitzophrenic live perfomance](http://www.spike.com/video/r-kelly-at-vmas/2678799)at the MTV Awards. Plus, had it not been for that wonderous golden turd, we wouldn’t have the Weird Al equally epic [“Trapped in the Drive-thru”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmGVYki-oyQ). ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/112 "2009-01-21T04:44:42Z")
> [@tds1273](#): > > Extra credit to Kelly for his (i believe) sincere, yet utterly surreal and [schitzophrenic live perfomance](http://www.spike.com/video/r-kelly-at-vmas/2678799)at the MTV Awards. That was the funniest/saddest thing I have ever watched in my life. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/113 "2009-01-21T05:06:31Z")
Dammit, I hate to bow to the excellece of those that I challenged, but that is how it will end. I was out worsed. SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/114 "2009-01-21T05:19:19Z")
[Rock and Roll McDonald’s](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=did4B2fSK2I) [Pop that Pussy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-kinJp3eh4&feature=related) [Suck A Big Fat Donkey’s Dick.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q2TA2zPtac) Most hilarious and BAD song ever. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/115 "2009-01-21T06:17:35Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > [Rock and Roll McDonald’s](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=did4B2fSK2I) > [Pop that Pussy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-kinJp3eh4&feature=related) > [Suck A Big Fat Donkey’s Dick.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1q2TA2zPtac) > > Most hilarious and BAD song ever. Wesley is missed ☹ “I’m sorry that I got fat. I’m SORRY that I got fat. I’m sorry THAT I got fat! I will slim down.” ---
**Author:** ![Cyberhwk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Cyberhwk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyberhwk)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/116 "2009-01-21T10:37:25Z")
I want to ride my bicycle…I want to ride my bike… > [@Manduck](#): > > Nobody will evar top The Night Chicago Died: [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-L0NpaErkk](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-L0NpaErkk) My mom likes telling a story of being in school and some girl was just jamming to whatever tune was in her head during some math test. She was starting to draw attention then suddenly blurted out, “ **DADDY WAS A COP!** ” ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/117 "2009-01-21T13:54:50Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > What? no “love” for [Biz markie?](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJHnRtZkiHo) What is the world coming to? No love. We’re just friends. In all seriousness, I think you just won the thread, though. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/118 "2009-01-21T19:31:41Z")
> [@Yumblie](#): > > I’d have to say [The Most Unwanted Music](http://www.diacenter.org/km/musiccd.html), but it’s _intentionally_ bad. It’s a song that was designed to be as unlikeable as possible according to survey data. > > You can listen to it [here](http://blog.wired.com/music/2008/04/a-scientific-at.html), but prepare yourself for 20 minutes of hilarious torture. Oh this…this is beautiful. This is so going on my OR ipod, and when the surgeons start getting lippy with me…out come the big guns!! Muahahaha… ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/119 "2009-01-21T20:01:25Z")
Most of these songs are awesome. You’ll get my _Total Eclipse of the Heart_ when you pry it from my cold dead hands! ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2009, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891/120 "2009-01-21T20:06:11Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Queen of Hearts by Juice Newton Jeez, I love that song. And I think her singing is better Dave Edmunds’. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-hilariously-bad-song-ever/481891.md?page=7)