# Most horrible compliments ever (not for the faint of heart) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 13, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324 "2006-10-13T16:41:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gozu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gozu/32/6615_2.png) [@Gozu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/1 "2006-10-13T16:41:08Z")
Topic says it all. I’ll start: “You’re so smart! I’d like to rip one of your eyes out and make love to that beautiful, juicy brain of yours”. ---
**Author:** ![naotalbah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@naotalbah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/naotalbah)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/2 "2006-10-13T16:54:47Z")
You’ve lost weight- you look great! After a miscarriage. ---
**Author:** ![Rodgers01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@Rodgers01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodgers01)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/3 "2006-10-13T17:25:45Z")
[QUOTE=naotalbah] You’ve lost weight- you look great! After a miscarriage. [/QUOTE] Ooooh, ouch. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/4 "2006-10-13T17:42:00Z")
From a ‘Hot Topic’ T-Shirt “you have lovely eyes, can I touch them?” ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/5 "2006-10-13T18:05:35Z")
I don’t mind your breasts. ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/6 "2006-10-13T18:13:47Z")
[QUOTE=naotalbah] You’ve lost weight- you look great! After a miscarriage. [/QUOTE] My mom got: You’ve lost weight - you look great! When the person telling her this knew she had cancer. It was her sister, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Wee\_Bairn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/90db22/32.png) [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/7 "2006-10-13T18:19:04Z")
Similar to the one in the OP, from the Patron Saint of crude humor, Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!” But I don’t think he meant it as a compliment. Also not sure if his “you look like the kind of person who would fuck someone in the ass and not even have the goddamned common courtesy to give him a reacharound” is a compliment- context clues and delivery say no. ---
**Author:** ![Pocito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@Pocito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pocito)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/8 "2006-10-13T20:41:09Z")
My sister got, “Your eyes are so green. I want to mow them. Can we go out sometime?” “Um, no.” ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/9 "2006-10-13T20:50:48Z")
“You’re not pretty - you just look that way.” I got that one from a former BF. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/10 "2006-10-13T21:44:28Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] Similar to the one in the OP, from the Patron Saint of crude humor, Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!” But I don’t think he meant it as a compliment. Also not sure if his “you look like the kind of person who would fuck someone in the ass and not even have the goddamned common courtesy to give him a reacharound” is a compliment- context clues and delivery say no. [/QUOTE] [Ermey] Bullshit! I bet you can suck a golf ball through a garden hose. [/Ermey] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/11 "2006-10-13T21:46:25Z")
You don’t sweat much for a fat lass. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/12 "2006-10-13T21:54:30Z")
[QUOTE=Alma] My mom got: You’ve lost weight - you look great! When the person telling her this knew she had cancer. It was her sister, actually. [/QUOTE] Along those lines: “You look so much better than last time I saw you!” Now legendary within my circle of friends. Said by Friend A to Friend B, as Friend B was in the hospital trying to recover from a surfing accident in which he broke his neck and was paralyzed. (Friend A meant that he looked better than she’d expected and liked his new haircut.) ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2006, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/13 "2006-10-13T23:04:41Z")
“You’ve got a hell of a body for a gal your age.” “What gorgeous children. Your husband must be very handsome.” ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/14 "2006-10-14T01:09:21Z")
[QUOTE=Wee Bairn] Similar to the one in the OP, from the Patron Saint of crude humor, Gunnery Sgt. Hartman: “I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-fuck you!” But I don’t think he meant it as a compliment. [/QUOTE] Hell no. He didn’t even intend it as _humor._ ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/15 "2006-10-14T01:36:05Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] “You’re not pretty - you just look that way.” I got that one from a former BF. [/QUOTE] That was the funniest thing I’ve heard all week! ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/16 "2006-10-14T02:50:02Z")
Said in tones of great surprise: “You know, you look really good when you wear make-up.” :dubious: Apparently, without make-up, I’m a hideous troll, frightening children and small puppies and breaking mirrors and camera shutters with wild abandon. Fear me! I am Troll Woman! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/17 "2006-10-14T03:18:32Z")
You’re so cute I just want to chew up your face. Also, my middle school shop teacher to my father, about me, when I was 14: “It’s a good thing she’s pretty, because she sure doesn’t have it up here!” (he meant no brains, not no breasts; it was a very stupid comment because my father had just become his boss. Also stupid because what he took for my lack of intelligence was actually that I’d found a loophole in his grading system and managed to get an A without ever actually having to go out into the shop). ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/18 "2006-10-14T03:44:09Z")
**Friend of a friend** : “Cazzle! I didn’t recognise you. You look so nice!” **Me** : “Errr… I’ll just try to take the compliment out of that, shall I?” **FoaF** : “Oh, wait, I didn’t mean it like that. I just didn’t recognise you in a skirt instead of jeans” **Me** : “Well, it is my brother’s wedding…” Also **Obnoxious child** : (looking at old photo) “You looked better with long hair” **Me** : (drily) “Thank you” **OC** : “That’s not a compliment” **Me** : “…” (leaves room) ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/19 "2006-10-14T04:15:25Z")
From a high school classmate: “I can’t imagine you being rude. I can imagine you plotting to kill all of us, but I can’t imagine you being rude.” ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324/20 "2006-10-14T04:26:22Z")
I once got “Your eyes would be really pretty if they were blue.” Um… okay? When my daughter was about five, she overheard me saying that I was fat, and she came over, hugged me, and said “You’re beautiful, Mommy. You’re only a \*little \* fat!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-horrible-compliments-ever-not-for-the-faint-of-heart/376324.md?page=2)