# Most/least apt sports names **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [January 3, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519 "2010-01-03T18:04:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/1 "2010-01-03T18:04:21Z")
Ryan Longwell is the perfect name for an NFL kicker who is 22 out of 36 on field goals of 50+ yards for his career. Grant Balfour is also pretty apt for a MLB pitcher who has walked 4.7 batters/9 innings in his career. Bob Walk on the other hand only gave up 3.3 walks/9. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/2 "2010-01-03T18:37:41Z")
A few years ago there was a football player on the Oregon Ducks team named Mallard. I also thought “Losman” wasn’t a great name for a QB, but it turned out to be correct enough. ---
**Author:** ![OldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3bc359/32.png) [@OldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/3 "2010-01-03T19:11:15Z")
It’s not an individual name, but the WHA hockey team in St Paul, MN was called the Minnesota Fighting Saints. I always thought that a strange combination. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/4 "2010-01-03T19:40:08Z")
Fewer names could be more apt for a cornerback than Reggie Corner. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/5 "2010-01-03T20:00:44Z")
Steve Shields the Hockey goaltender is one of my faves. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/6 "2010-01-03T20:02:58Z")
I guess Cecil Fielder wasn’t much of a fielder. ---
**Author:** ![HISSNLISSN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed8c4c/32.png) [@HISSNLISSN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HISSNLISSN)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/7 "2010-01-03T20:26:18Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > I guess Cecil Fielder wasn’t much of a fielder. Nor did Cecil Espy ever win an ESPY… White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle is a bearded, barrel-chested sport hunter. Junior Seau was a hard-hitting linebacker in the NFL. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/8 "2010-01-03T21:05:25Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > I guess Cecil Fielder wasn’t much of a fielder. Nor is his son. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/9 "2010-01-03T21:25:32Z")
The Utah Jazz is pretty inappropriate. LA Lakers also. (Both teams were transplants from places–New Orleans and Minneapolis–where the names fit. Why they didn’t adopt a new one beats me.) ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/10 "2010-01-03T21:33:15Z")
Quentin Jammer is a pretty good cornerback. Steve Swisher and his son Nick both struck out a fair amount, I think. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/11 "2010-01-03T21:34:37Z")
Dick Butkus kissed butt for no one. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/12 "2010-01-03T21:46:33Z")
Reggie Cleveland, sadly, never played for Cleveland. Darryl Boston never played for Boston. Martin St. Louis does not pay for St. Louis. A shame, really. I am pleased to note that Angel Moreno played for the Angels. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/13 "2010-01-03T22:19:25Z")
Tedy Bruschi should have played for the Packers (as “brewski” is a common term for a beer in Wisconsin). ---
**Author:** ![GoodOmens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@GoodOmens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GoodOmens)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/14 "2010-01-03T22:44:56Z")
There are several NFL players with the last name “Stonebreaker,” which is an awesome name for either a football player or a dwarf. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/15 "2010-01-03T22:57:39Z")
There used to be an offensive lineman in the Canadian Football League with the last name of Bonk. ---
**Author:** ![Ichbin\_Dubist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ichbin\_Dubist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ichbin_Dubist)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/16 "2010-01-03T23:22:45Z")
I have nothing against the guy, but “Sage Rosenfels” sounds to me like a chick who wears Che t-shirts and plays the Appalachian dulcimer, not an NFL quarterback. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/17 "2010-01-03T23:29:29Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Reggie Cleveland, sadly, never played for Cleveland. Darryl Boston never played for Boston. Martin St. Louis does not pay for St. Louis. A shame, really. In the English County Championship, Nick Derbyshire played for Essex and Lancashire, but not for Derbyshire. And John Hampshire played for Derbyshire (and Leicestershire and Yorkshire) but not Hampshire. But [Oswald Lancashire](http://www.cricinfo.com/ci/content/player/16440.html) did indeed play for Lancashire. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/18 "2010-01-03T23:33:58Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > Fewer names could be more apt for a cornerback than Reggie Corner. Unless it’s Quentin Jammer. The Browns used to have a receiver named Fair Hooker. Dave Philley played for a lot of baseball teams, thankfully including the Phillies. The Buffalo Sabres hockey team once had a defensive pair named Larry Playfair and Lindy Ruff. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/19 "2010-01-04T00:17:59Z")
> [@GoodOmens](#): > > There are several NFL players with the last name “Stonebreaker,” which is an awesome name for either a football player or a dwarf. Not sure why, but this post made me laugh for a good five minutes. Probably because I was picturing a football-playing dwarf. ---
**Author:** ![Jim\_s\_Son](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19adc/32.png) [@Jim\_s\_Son](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jim_s_Son)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/20 "2010-01-04T06:16:48Z")
1950s Quarterback Willie Thrower. F1/NASCAR driver Scott Speed 1980s NFL player Cleveland Pittsburgh Crosby played for the Baltimore Colts. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519.md?page=2)