# Most/least apt sports names **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [January 3, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519 "2010-01-03T18:04:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jeff\_Lichtman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeff_lichtman/32/1531_2.png) [@Jeff\_Lichtman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeff_Lichtman)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/21 "2010-01-04T09:24:41Z")
There was an infielder for the Yankees and Athletics named Mickey Klutts. The Phillies, Braves and Pirates had a pitcher named Bob Walk. ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/22 "2010-01-04T09:34:51Z")
There’s a famous German football (soccer) player by the name of Philipp Lahm. Lahm means “lame” in German. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/23 "2010-01-04T10:36:56Z")
I always liked that Jeff Feagles was a Punter for the Philadelphia Eagles. Back in the days when I played Madden Football and obscure and or generic players were simply referred to by number and team name, e.g. “#80 Bears”, seeing “#18 Feagles” always seemed like an odd typo. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/24 "2010-01-04T10:40:06Z")
Michigan State had a quarterback named Jeff Smoker. Not apt enough for ya? How about taking into consideration that he was suspended for five games with a substance abuse problem. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/25 "2010-01-04T12:03:01Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > There used to be an offensive lineman in the Canadian Football League with the last name of Bonk. There was also a hockey player named Radek Bonk. ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/26 "2010-01-04T12:27:05Z")
[Another thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=480403) was done on this very question sometime ago on the occasion of someone named Bolt being the fastest man on earth. I came in to nominate Turkish goalie Volkan Demirel, or **Volcano Ironfist** , for a special lifetime achievement award in name awesomeness. ---
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/27 "2010-01-04T13:57:56Z")
> [@Jim\_s\_Son](#): > > F1/NASCAR driver Scott Speed NASCAR had another Speed, Lake Speed, back in the 1980s and 90s. No relation. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/28 "2010-01-04T14:05:17Z")
I always thought Rollie Fingers was a great name for a pitcher. Don’t they have rolling fingers? ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/29 "2010-01-04T14:30:37Z")
Relief pitcher Blas Minor was constantly being sent down to the minors during his career with the Pirates, Mets, Mariners, and Astros. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/30 "2010-01-04T14:46:05Z")
Tiger Woods–both for wood golf clubs and “woodies.” ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/31 "2010-01-04T15:04:38Z")
In a similar thread to this one a year and a half or so ago, I learned that for a while, a man named Wolfgang Wolf was the manager of a German football club called the Wolfsburg Wolves. The fact that I read this after winding down with a glass or two of wine after an exhausting, 3-1/2 hour traffic-jam filled car ride (to go about 90 miles) to get to Great Wolf Lodge, where my family was staying in a room classified as a “Wolf Den” decorated with pictures of wolves and wolf paw prints… Made me crack up nearly uncontrollably. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/32 "2010-01-04T15:26:07Z")
The Bengals’ #85, Chad Ochocinco, probably shouldn’t count, right? ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/33 "2010-01-04T16:03:38Z")
> [@Svejk\_1](#): > > I came in to nominate Turkish goalie Volkan Demirel, or **Volcano Ironfist** , for a special lifetime achievement award in name awesomeness. I think that Volcano Ironfist will need to be the name of my next D&D character. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/34 "2010-01-04T16:06:25Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > The Utah Jazz is pretty inappropriate. > > LA Lakers also. (Both teams were transplants from places–New Orleans and Minneapolis–where the names fit. Why they didn’t adopt a new one beats me.) There aren’t many grizzlies around Memphis, Tennessee. Usain Bolt is pretty good name for a Sprinter. Joe Theisman had a good name for someone that was promoted for the Heisman trophy at Notre Dame. IIRC, his family pronounced his name THEES-man, but Joe changed the pronounciation when he went to Notre Dame. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/35 "2010-01-04T16:32:45Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > The Bengals’ #85, Chad Ochocinco, probably shouldn’t count, right? I think players who’ve actually changed their names (like Ochocinco or World B. Free) don’t count, no. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/36 "2010-01-04T16:54:34Z")
The Patriots quarterback who was injured by a hit, causing him to bleed out and nearly die (paving the way for Tom Brady) was Drew Bledsoe. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/37 "2010-01-04T17:08:16Z")
Bob Petit always struck me as an inappropriate name for a 6’9" basketball player. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/38 "2010-01-04T17:13:20Z")
The one time a team relocation actually improved its name may have been when the NBA’s Fort Wayne Pistons moved to Detroit. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/39 "2010-01-04T18:27:17Z")
In the early part of Vince Lombardi’s tenure with the Packers, their center / quarterback tandem was: Ringo Starr. (Center Jim Ringo, quarterback Bart Starr.) However, just as the Beatles were becoming huge in the States, Lombardi broke up the band, trading Ringo to the Eagles. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519/40 "2010-01-04T20:34:15Z")
Back in the Seventies, I remember… 1. The Jets had a mediocre head coach named Charlie Winner (he was Weeb Ewbank’s son-in-law). 2. The Brewers had a mediocre pitcher named Billy Champion (he wasn’t). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-least-apt-sports-names/523519.md?page=3)