# Most men would kill for body like that - Why doesn't Cristiano Ronaldo bring the sexy? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 18, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418 "2010-01-18T14:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/1 "2010-01-18T14:09:11Z")
This Cristiano Ronaldo [Armani ad campaign](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1243987/Cristiano-Ronaldo-noooo-That-new-Armani-ad-shift-undies-wont-win-female-fans.html) is apparently being more mocked than lusted after by the ladies. He seems to have the body of god. Why doesn’t he bring the sexy? ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/2 "2010-01-18T14:16:47Z")
Like the ad said, he has a pouty, girlish face which clashes with his chiseled-ness. Also, the look on his face…he’s just trying too hard to be sexy. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/3 "2010-01-18T14:20:04Z")
> [@Stauderhorse](#): > > Like the ad said, he has a pouty, girlish face which clashes with his chiseled-ness. Also, the look on his face…he’s just trying too hard to be sexy. Exactly, it’s comical & way over the top. It’s like what a comedy show might do if they were trying to parody an Armani underwear ad. Yeah, his body is great, but that doesn’t mean any picture of it is automatically sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/4 "2010-01-18T14:21:34Z")
Moving thread from IMHO to Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/5 "2010-01-18T14:21:57Z")
Oh, he’s got a hot body, for sure. But his poses and facial expressions are totally awkward and silly. The first two in particular look like something out of Zoolander. You can’t just have a body; you need to know what to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/6 "2010-01-18T14:47:39Z")
Ludicrous poses and tons of make-up. Those photos make him look like the kind of bloke who’d have sex in front of a mirror so that he could look at himself and barely notice that there was another person there. ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/7 "2010-01-18T15:38:50Z")
Reminds me of [these guys](http://www.diamondthoughts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/jersey-shore-engagement-rings-mtv.jpg)…:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![PookahMacPhellimey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pookahmacphellimey/32/3175_2.png) [@PookahMacPhellimey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PookahMacPhellimey)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/8 "2010-01-18T15:46:04Z")
I have to admit I actually _do_ find him just a little bit sexy. But I am known to have an extremely high tolerance for cheesy Latin loverboys. Mind you, both Cannavaro and Zambrotta (For non soccer fans, they are the first two guys on the left in the top pic. All guys were in the Italian national squad at the time this ad was done) are infinitely hotter in this ad: > **[Schlüsseldienst Köln: Ihr 24 Std. Schlüsselnotdienst](http://www.adpunch.org)** > > Schlüsseldienst Köln - Ihr kölscher 24 Stunden Schlüsselnotdienst ist jederzeit schnell vor Ort und öffnet Ihnen professionell und schnell alle Türen.... Traffic stopping to me. Pant pant. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/9 "2010-01-18T15:48:16Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > The first two in particular look like something out of Zoolander. That’s exactly what I was thinking! ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/10 "2010-01-18T15:49:37Z")
What I find more interesting is the OP’s assertion that “most men would kill for a body like that” … really? why? ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/11 "2010-01-18T15:52:56Z")
Believe me, I have definitely noticed the sexy of Cristiano Ronaldo in pictures of him playing soccer, or being sweaty after playing soccer, or … you get the idea. In the Armani ads, he looks like he doesn’t especially want to be there in the first place but is trying to get the photo shoot over with as quickly as possible by making what he thinks is a sexy model face (agree with those who think it’s straight out of _Zoolander_). ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/12 "2010-01-18T15:54:08Z")
Well, I wouldn’t kill for it, because I know it comes with falling down on the ground and rolling around in agony crying out for the awarding of all sorts of punishment merely because someone tapped my ankle lightly, or worse, never touched me at all, but looked like they were going to. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/13 "2010-01-18T16:18:41Z")
> [@delphica](#): > > Believe me, I have definitely noticed the sexy of Cristiano Ronaldo in pictures of him playing soccer, or being sweaty after playing soccer, or … you get the idea. > > In the Armani ads, he looks like he doesn’t especially want to be there in the first place but is trying to get the photo shoot over with as quickly as possible by making what he thinks is a sexy model face (agree with those who think it’s straight out of _Zoolander_). Well, it’s probably the face he was told to make. I’m remembering a very famous Spanish actress who started her professional life as a model (one of the first to be known by name here), and who says that the first time on the job the boss told her “just swing those hips and look at the clients like you’re thinking ‘you have the money but I have the body, you bitches’” Agreed that he’s damn sexy - when he’s himself. And it’s not the first time someone hires a famous person and proceeds to get pictures that leave me wondering why the hell did they bother, as they either leave the celebrity unrecognizable, airbursh their most recognizable features, or somehow else do things that should get the advertisers smooshed with an anvil. There was a Dior campaign a few years back where Charlize Theron’s gesture was so completely unnatural it may, in fact, have been this same photographer. ---
**Author:** ![LilGypsyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilGypsyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilGypsyGirl)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/14 "2010-01-18T16:23:04Z")
I agree with everyone here - it is definitely the strained effort and obvious uncomfortable-ness being in front of a camera in that way which totally kills the sexy. He looks weird and artificial. He is a very good looking guy, but may be a tad too “pretty” in comparison to the Beckham Armani campaign. Beckham looks more as if he is just standing around in his underwear, looking around, and someone happened to wander by and take a picture. There was no obvious strain to pop out the ab muscles, or silly guy-liner add-ons. It was Beckham, pure and simple - and THAT’S what made that campaign successful. Way more so than this one will be. Sorry, Armani - I am usually a fan of your print work. But this one gets a big fail. ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/15 "2010-01-18T16:59:05Z")
Piling on - his face is too pretty for that smokin and huge body. Guys with faces like that often are hot but they’re also the skinny fit type of guys so the face and the body match. And he isn’t a great model. It’s harder to do than you think. ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/16 "2010-01-18T17:04:52Z")
> [@astro](#): > > …lusted after by the ladies… What makes you think this ad is intended to appeal to the “ladies”? ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/17 "2010-01-18T17:14:51Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > What makes you think this ad is intended to appeal to the “ladies”? Well as a member of the other demographic that these things might be marketed at, I can say it doesn’t work all that well for me either. I was actually talking about this with a friend of mine the other day and we couldn’t quite work out why Ronaldo doesn’t come across as sexy. For me it’s mainly because he looks greasy and a bit cheesy latin when I see him, and I agree with others that those ad pics looked a tad over-done. But then I’m a Stephen Gerrard fan, so what do I know? :o ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/18 "2010-01-18T17:21:10Z")
My instinctive reaction was that it would be wrong for me to treat him as attractive. After looking for a while, I’ve come to the conclusion that his forearms are so short and puny that they give him a childish look overall. I would not, as they say, “hit that.” ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/19 "2010-01-18T17:22:02Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Well, it’s probably the face he was told to make. Exactly, I’m saying he’s not very good at making that face, poor thing. I hope he can still find a way to bring in some income. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/20 "2010-01-18T17:35:33Z")
Oh, c’mon. His knees are way too sharp. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418.md?page=2)