# Most men would kill for body like that - Why doesn't Cristiano Ronaldo bring the sexy? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 18, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418 "2010-01-18T14:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/41 "2010-01-19T17:32:30Z")
If he just stood there and didn’t try to post he’d be better looking. As others have said, yeah, it’s over the top. As for me personally, I tend to like my men a little more lithe. Think Simon from Firefly, not Jayne. > [@twickster](#): > > No, I understand hyperbole just fine, but I find the concept of envying another person’s body rather odd. I’m trying to think of any woman about whom I’d say “I’d kill to have her body,” or even “I’d kill to have her legs,” or “I’d kill to have her hair.” I might occasionally think “it would be neat to have a body that great,” or “ooh, I really like her hair, too bad mine won’t do that,” or something … but to have this fantasy where my life would really be completely different, and infinitely better, if I looked like X, Y, or Z … foreign concept. Which is not to say that I think I’m so gorgeous that there’s no room for improvement, it’s just that body image isn’t central to my identity. **shrug** > > Sorry to hijack, it’s really not important from my POV – call me whooshed by hyperbole and move on. Hell, I’ve wished for other women’s X. Mainly it’s hair. I have incredibly curly, dry hair - it never looks like those fucking Pantene commercials - and I spent the first fifteen years of my life wishing desperately for straight, beautiful hair. (Now I love it). Or how about even skin tone, that might be nice, I tan on my arms but any skin that’s uncovered is like a really light beige… Body image isn’t central to my identity but it’s a part of it, certainly. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/42 "2010-01-19T17:43:53Z")
> [@Stoid](#): > > In my own case… I don’t like that much muscle. it’s just… too. I don’t mind the amount of muscle, it’s the “super cut” look I don’t like. I don’t want a guy who looks like he lives on eggwhites and vegetables,and would be pissed if he got dirty\*. \*And I realize (now) he’s a soccer player, so probably gets dirty all the time, but I’m just going on impressions from the ad. He’s probably way hotter when he’s been playing, instead of posing. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/43 "2010-01-19T18:33:58Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > I’m 45 and my body is just as good if not better than his. Trust me you have to have the face to go with it, there I can’t compete. Pictures or it didn’t happen. 😃 > [@](#): > > That’s what the ladies like youth and handsome face Could I direct you to the “What’s The Oldest Celebrity You’d Do?” thread? ---
**Author:** ![rock\_party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@rock\_party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rock_party)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/44 "2010-01-19T18:43:29Z")
The plucked eyebrows make him look like a drag queen out of drag…ok if you’re into crossdressers. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2010, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/45 "2010-01-19T21:25:22Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Pictures or it didn’t happen. 😃 Having seen the pic of **Markxxx** ’s body in the users gallery I can assure you, he does give Ronaldo a run for his money. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/46 "2010-01-20T02:37:11Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Pictures or it didn’t happen. 😃 > **[nouilles.info](http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/509.html)** > > easy noodle recipes,homemade noodle making,gluten free noodle dishes ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/47 "2010-01-20T04:13:46Z")
Waxed eyebrows, heavy makeup, shaved armpits? Not even a treasure trail? He’s too far from reality to be appealing. He’s almost a mannequin. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/48 "2010-01-20T05:36:56Z")
He just looks like he’s trying too hard in those shots. Great body, he’s definitely hot, but that set just has this…forced look about it that totally kills the sexy. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/49 "2010-01-20T05:40:17Z")
If those pictures were on **America’s Next Top Model** , Tyra would tear them apart. You need to model from “head to toe” and that includes “using your eyes.” Seriously, the reason the very gorgeous man doesn’t look great in those pictures is that he doesn’t know how to model. He doesn’t look like he’s got anything going on upstairs, and there’s no energy or tension. ---
**Author:** ![The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_wind_of_my_soul)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/50 "2010-01-20T15:16:51Z")
I am in awe. I can’t believe what I just read. Cristiano Ronaldo absolutely brings the sexy. Seriously, when have you ever seen a body that gorgeous? My eyes never even get around to looking at his face! ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/51 "2010-01-20T15:42:16Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > I am in awe. I can’t believe what I just read. Cristiano Ronaldo absolutely brings the sexy. Seriously, when have you ever seen a body that gorgeous? My eyes never even get around to looking at his face! I think **he** is most probably sexy, but those pictures sure aren’t. He’s not a natural at modeling. ---
**Author:** ![badbadrubberpiggy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/57b2e6/32.png) [@badbadrubberpiggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badbadrubberpiggy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/52 "2010-01-20T15:59:54Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I think **he** is most probably sexy, but those pictures sure aren’t. He’s not a natural at modeling. Exactly. People aren’t saying he’s ugly or has a bad body, but that his modelling sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/53 "2010-01-20T18:08:50Z")
> [@The\_wind\_of\_my\_soul](#): > > I am in awe. I can’t believe what I just read. Cristiano Ronaldo absolutely brings the sexy. Seriously, when have you ever seen a body that gorgeous? My eyes never even get around to looking at his face! I’ve seen bodies that gorgeous on every billboard in Times Square. More gorgeous, actually, because they don’t have those weird muscle imbalances. I have no doubt that he looks much better and sexier in any other context. I’ll bet he looks like a god on the soccer field. But in these photos, he’s not sexy. Like others have said, he’s no good at modeling. And most of the styling choices were just plain anti-sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/54 "2010-01-20T18:38:41Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > [nouilles.info](http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/509.html) Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Okay, it _did_ happen. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/55 "2010-01-20T21:34:15Z")
[Real](http://www.kickette.com/files/2009/10/Oguchi-Onyewu-gooch-gets-naked-for-espn1.jpg) [muscles](http://www.kickette.com/files/2009/10/Oguchi.jpg) [or](http://images.dailyradar.com/media/uploads/ballhype/photos_large/2008/09/18/adrian-peterson-02_.jpg) [gym](http://www.cherryconnect.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/dwight-howard-espn.jpg) [muscles](http://www.go386.com/culture/images/michael-phelps-picture.jpg)? NSFW links? ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2010, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/56 "2010-01-20T21:50:05Z")
He’s got too much of a primping/preening look. Particularly the vest with no shirt look that I only ever see here in the gay village. And the first photo, if his fingers were relaxed and it looked like he was scrubbing the manly sweat from his brow with his forearm, or the back of his hand, that would be dude-like. His fingers splayed and touching his face, looks too much like the body language that you’d see in old silent movie when the damsel in distress would swoon. I can’t find a real photo, but here’s riff of the [pose I mean](http://img359.imageshack.us/img359/2065/silentmoviecopyfn6.jpg). He’s trying too hard to be sexy and it’s making him look effeminate. He should go for rugged. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/57 "2010-01-21T03:04:06Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > [Real](http://www.kickette.com/files/2009/10/Oguchi-Onyewu-gooch-gets-naked-for-espn1.jpg) [muscles](http://www.kickette.com/files/2009/10/Oguchi.jpg) [or](http://images.dailyradar.com/media/uploads/ballhype/photos_large/2008/09/18/adrian-peterson-02_.jpg) [gym](http://www.cherryconnect.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/dwight-howard-espn.jpg) [muscles](http://www.go386.com/culture/images/michael-phelps-picture.jpg)? > > NSFW links? I’ll see your Oguchi and raise you a [Paul](http://www.geh.org/ar/strip88/htmlsrc/m197701882367A_ful.html#topofimage) [Robeson](http://www.geh.org/ar/strip88/htmlsrc/m197701882368_ful.html#topofimage). They didn’t have gym muscles back then.\* Look, I’m not denigrating gym-toned physiques. I’m denigrating physiques that look like they were formed solely from hours at Bally Total Fitness. \*Even [Bernarr Macfadden’s](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Sarony,_Napoleon_%281821-1896%29_-_Bernarr_Macfadden_as_David_-_1905_ca1.jpg) gym muscles didn’t look like gym muscles. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/58 "2010-01-21T03:51:59Z")
So all of those links show people with “gym muscles?” I’m trying to get a handle on what gym muscles are compared to muscles people use. I don’t see how you can say that top athletes in the world, people that rely on their bodies’ performance and not their looks to earn money, are just gym muscle. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/59 "2010-01-21T03:58:47Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > So all of those links show people with “gym muscles?” I’m trying to get a handle on what gym muscles are compared to muscles people use. I don’t see how you can say that top athletes in the world, people that rely on their bodies’ performance and not their looks to earn money, are just gym muscle. No. Do you even know who Paul Robeson is? And no, I’m not saying that real athletes are all “gym muscles.” That doesn’t even make any sense. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418/60 "2010-01-21T04:04:58Z")
No I didn’t know who he was. Googling shows that he was an athlete (among other things). And? Would you mind answering my question as to what makes muscle “gym muscle” and what makes it “real muscle?” From your labeling of Ronaldo, I would think you’d also label Onyewu and Adrian Peterson that way. Which brings about the confusion as to what gym muscle is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-men-would-kill-for-body-like-that-why-doesnt-cristiano-ronaldo-bring-the-sexy/525418.md?page=4)