# Most nauseatingly cloying pop songs **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 12, 2006, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184 "2006-10-12T13:44:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/81 "2006-10-14T17:43:38Z")
[QUOTE=Webner] I think it’s “when I touch your dress,” but I may be wrong. [/QUOTE] 😛 Just ruin my childhood ruinations, won’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/82 "2006-10-14T18:07:48Z")
“Leader of the Pack”,I believe that as part of the marketing strategy a sick bag was given away free with every record .I would not be amazed also if during the release period sales of low powered ,tinny sounding mopeds rocketed to spotty adolescent males ! All secretly hoping that they`d die tragically in an accident (as long as it didn`t hurt of course)and that good looking girl living down the road would feel reallly,really bad about not going out with them when they were asked ! ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/83 "2006-10-14T18:16:23Z")
G L O R I A Im so glad.Im so glad Im glad Im glad Im glad AAAGGGGHHHH ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMensch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@MonkeyMensch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMensch)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/84 "2006-10-14T19:23:27Z")
_Send in the Clowns_ is a pleasure to play on the piano though Sondheim only gets a C+ from me for his lyrical work on this one. It’s occasionally unfair to take songs out of musicals where they lose the context of the characters who sing the songs and the story that surrounds them. Frank Sinatra singing it is an entirely different ball of ear wax. You could put together a list of choices for execution: Firing squad, ooga-booga, or listening to Ol’ Blue Eyes speaking/singing the song in question. I’m a Journey fan, of sorts: Reminds me of college and some great tunes and harmonies are to be had. But _Open Arms_? Ew. The first thing I do when I perfect my time machine is to bust into the studio during recording, shouting, “More cowbell!” With respect to Minnie Ripperton’s _Lovin’ You_ I bless my advancing years and its attendant loss of acoustic range that prevents me from hearing the dog-whistle protion of that dreck. ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/85 "2006-10-14T19:46:17Z")
[QUOTE=MonkeyMensch] With respect to Minnie Ripperton’s _Lovin’ You_ I bless my advancing years and its attendant loss of acoustic range that prevents me from hearing the dog-whistle protion of that dreck. [/QUOTE] Every time that song would come on, my friends and I would throw back our heads and howl! ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/86 "2006-10-14T21:11:36Z")
[QUOTE=Elendil’s Heir] Seconded and thirded. The Captain & Tenille performed this at a state dinner for Queen Elizabeth during the Bicentennial, I kid you not. It’s a wonder she didn’t order her troops to burn down the White House again. [/QUOTE] They sang “Muskrat Love” for the Queen? Hell, I’m sure not a royalist, but I would have helped the British on this one. ---
**Author:** ![blackhobyah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blackhobyah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blackhobyah)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/87 "2006-10-15T02:00:32Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] [Butterfly Kisses](http://www.weddingvendors.com/music/lyrics/b/bob-carlisle/butterfly-kisses/). Ipecac for the ears. [/QUOTE] That was going to be my vote. I’ve only ever heard it once and I was dumbstruck by ithe sentimental awfulness of it. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/88 "2006-10-15T02:37:46Z")
There’s this song all over the radio at the moment, about this girl who wants to be a “punk rocker with flowers in her hair” thatgets played 64 times a day. Apart from the ridiculous, stupid, inane, vacuous lyrics, and the socially retarded sentiments they posit, the woman has the most generic, bland, annoying voice you could hope not to hear. Suckitude such that it is eveything that has ever been wrong with radio in one neat little package. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/89 "2006-10-15T04:29:06Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] Are Hell’s Angles acute or obtuse? [/QUOTE] I’m sure that, if you were to point in their general direction and say, “Awww, that’s acute angle,” you’d get your ass kicked. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/90 "2006-10-15T05:29:49Z")
_“Mrs. Brown, you’ve got a loovley daughter…”_ The auditory equivalent of one of those big-eyed Margaret Keane paintings. Features the most unappealingly sniveling protagonist in pop music history. _“But it’s sad; she doosn’t loove me now…”_ You utter git. The girl dumps you, so you sneak over and try to emotionally manipulate her mom?! _“Don’t let on… don’t say she’s broke my heart…”_ Jesus Christ; just shut up and grow a spine, you drippy little weed. This song made me want to punch Peter Noone in the head over and over and over again. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/91 "2006-10-15T05:32:29Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] _“Mrs. Brown, you’ve got a loovley daughter…”_ […] This song made me want to punch Peter Noone in the head over and over and over again. [/QUOTE] Just this song? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/92 "2006-10-15T06:04:03Z")
Tell Laura I Love Her You Don’t Bring Me Flowers ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/93 "2006-10-15T13:43:09Z")
[QUOTE=Rebecca DiMwitter] My boss wants to know why I am snorting Diet Coke out my nose at this very moment. What shall I tell him? [/QUOTE] And at least twice during this thread, I’ve laughed so hard I frightened the dog. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/94 "2006-10-15T18:41:21Z")
[QUOTE=jayjay] Just this song? [/QUOTE] Well, I actually have a fairly high tolerance for such musical Prozac. His other hits were pretty much all lightweight chirpy little tunes that didn’t try to do anything more than spread happy vibes. _Mrs. Brown YGaLD_, on the other hand, is just as superficial, but without any redeeming chirpiness. Instead it’s positively sticky with maudlin unrequited sentiment. _“So then, Oi’ll just be all gloomy and loathsome for no reason, shall I?”_ Oh, thank you, Peter. Noone’s other ditties are like the relentlessly upbeat co-worker who giggles all the time and who randomly brings in cookies for everyone: sure, her nonstop ebullience can get on your nerves sometimes, but at least there’s cookies. _MBYGaLD_ is more like that constantly mopey guy who never washes his hair and who’s always trying to borrow a dollar for the vending machine. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/95 "2006-10-15T21:12:14Z")
[QUOTE=The New and Improved Superman] IMO, The new millenium is turning out to be great for this kind of drivel as well…as witnessed by the unfathomable popularity of James Blunt. “You’re annoying Mr. Blunt, iiiiit’s true!” [/QUOTE] Thank you! Couldn’t agree more. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/96 "2006-10-16T00:51:06Z")
REUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNITED AND IT FEELS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD, REUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNITED, 'CUZ WE UNDERSTOOD -Courtesy of Peaches & Herb ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/97 "2006-10-16T02:18:31Z")
I own and love easily 90% of these songs. OMG bring on the sap! BRING IT!! And to contribute, I’ll nominate _scans iTunes playlist_…OK, I dont’ have this one, but I do have a funny story to go with it. My mother in law is 80 and she LOVES LOVES the old country music, as do I, but she has a whole CD collection of the “story” type songs. You know, the kind where the trucker picks up the dying kid that talks to him on the radio and gives him a ride in the rig before he dies- those songs. So we were over for a holiday dinner and my husband puts that CD on and I’m DYING biting my tongue. I did fine until I had about glass #10 of the cheap wine and this song came on: [http://www.lyricsdir.com/red-sovine-little-rosa-lyrics.html](http://www.lyricsdir.com/red-sovine-little-rosa-lyrics.html) Little Rosa by Red Sovine. When they got to the part where it goes (in a HORRIBLE spoken bad Italian accent): But one day boss I’ve come home from the work I don’t see Rosa I looked down by the railroad track and I see one big crowd I go down and I pushed the crowd this a way and pushed the crowd that a way There boss at my feet lay my little Rosa and that’s why I want the rose boss I wanna put it on little Rosa’s grave Then man he didn’t say naught but he picked the biggest and the reddest rose And he gave it to me And I said thank you boss thank you very much I just burst and shouted out “OMG you MUST be fucking KIDDING ME! NO WAY this is a real SONG!!!” which sent my husband into gales of laughter and my MIL telling me (ignoring my profanity) “Oh yes- I love Red Sovine…this is such a beautiful song.” I very nearly had to kill my husband for that one. He knew I would crack. Those story songs all make me retch, but that one? OMG. Horrid. See also: “Teddy Bear”, same artist as referenced above: [http://www.lyricsdownload.com/red-sovine-teddy-bear-lyrics.html](http://www.lyricsdownload.com/red-sovine-teddy-bear-lyrics.html) When there came a little boy’s voice on the radio line. And he said, “Breaker, one-nine, is anyone there? Come on back, truckers, and talk to Teddy Bear.” \ “Now, I’m not supposed to bother you fellas out there, Mom says you’re busy and for me to stay off the air. But, you see, I get lonely and it helps to talk 'Cause that’s about all I can do. I’m crippled and I can’t walk.” \ “Now, I’m not supposed to bother you fellas out there, Mom says you’re busy and for me to stay off the air. But, you see, I get lonely and it helps to talk 'Cause that’s about all I can do. I’m crippled and I can’t walk.” \ \ Well, I came back and I said, “Before you go ten-ten, What’s your home-twenty, little CB friend?” Well, he gave me his address and I didn’t once hesitate 'Cause this hot load of freight was just gonna have to wait. I turned that truck around on a dime And headed straight for Jackson Street, 229. \ \\ And as I rounded the corner, boy, I got one heck of a shock– Eighteen-wheelers were lined up for three city blocks! Why, I guess every driver for miles around had caught Teddy Bear’s call And that little crippled boy was having a ball. \ “Breaker, one-nine,” came a voice on the air, “Just one word of thanks from Mama Teddy Bear. We wish each and every one a special prayer for you 'Cause you just made my little boy’s dream come true. I’ll sign off now before I start to cry. May God ride with you. Ten-four, and goodbye.” Please, read the whole lyrics to really get the feel or obtain the song and listen. And the worst part is that if MIL is playing her Red Sovine, by God at the end of each song you better be wiping your eyes and saying how beautiful it is. My husband’s favorite torture is to get to her house and say “Let’s listen to some Red Sovine, mom!” knowing how she loves it and I hate it. I am currently plotting his death. ---
**Author:** ![overeasy4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b9bd4f/32.png) [@overeasy4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overeasy4)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/98 "2006-10-16T06:28:46Z")
[QUOTE=mobo85] Are Hell’s Angles acute or obtuse? [/QUOTE] Oh my god. I did Not get your comment at all until I saw the reply to it and realized how I spelled it. Now they’re gonna be after me. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/99 "2006-10-16T10:08:47Z")
“Rows and floes of angel hair And ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons evrywhere Ive looked at clouds that way” I was a busboy when this one came out, and there was a jukebox thing in every booth. I think I head this song two or three times an hour for eight hours at a time. Auditory diabetes. ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184/100 "2006-10-16T16:46:20Z")
How can you forget “Billy, Don’t be a Hero?” Or “Mandy”? Or “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)”? Or “The Living Years”? Or “In the Ghetto”? What’s really depressing is that I actually have most of the songs listed in this thread on my iPod! I love the stupid, maudlin, schmaltzy songs and play them just to annoy family and friends. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-nauseatingly-cloying-pop-songs/376184.md?page=6)