# Most One-Sided Fights **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 19, 2009, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936 "2009-01-19T03:13:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/1 "2009-01-19T03:13:18Z")
Ok, so this has probably been done before, but… along the lines of “Bambi Meets Godzilla”, I submit: The Beatles Meet Darth Vader. The Fab Four sing of peace and love. Vader decapitates them with his lightsaber. ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/2 "2009-01-19T03:17:11Z")
Teenagers vs Jason, Freddy Krueger, or Michael Myers. ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/3 "2009-01-19T03:33:35Z")
Rambo V (Adventures in Mayberry.) Instead of the Sheriff Teasle and the Washington State National Guard, this one will have Rambo take on Sheriff Andy Taylor and Barney Fife. SSG Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/4 "2009-01-19T03:39:49Z")
Superman vs. the Mole Men? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/5 "2009-01-19T03:52:12Z")
Lennox Lewis vs. either of the Olsen twins. Or both of them, really. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/6 "2009-01-19T03:54:23Z")
In a battle of the comedians, Andy Dick vs. Patrick Warburton. (I hear Dick is looking for a comeback after the John Lovitz loss.) ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/7 "2009-01-19T04:27:40Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Superman vs. the Mole Men? I thought Superman was on the Mole Men’s side. How about Superman vs. that asshole in the diner near the end of _Superman II_? That guy beat Superman up earlier in the movie when Superman lost his powers. Little did he know who he was dealing with during the rematch. ---
**Author:** ![Telperion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telperion/32/509_2.png) [@Telperion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperion)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/8 "2009-01-19T04:39:35Z")
British Empire vs Zanzibar ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/9 "2009-01-19T05:21:41Z")
Jet Li vs. a dryer lint trap in need of emptying. “You are fluffy, my friend. You will not live.” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/10 "2009-01-19T05:28:43Z")
The Death Star versus a quadriplegic kitten nailed to the ground. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/11 "2009-01-19T05:30:20Z")
[This classic match-up](http://www.rhymes-with-witch.com/rww11172008.shtml) from R.K. Milholland ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/12 "2009-01-19T11:11:03Z")
Dexter versus a member of the European monarchies, especially one of the haemophiliac ones. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/13 "2009-01-19T11:19:54Z")
The Fantastic Four versus The Telly Tubbies. Ooooh, I’d love to see Tinky Winky get torched and La La given a good clobbering. I think the other 2 would run as fast as their fat little legs would carry them. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/14 "2009-01-19T11:25:41Z")
Storm vs. Strom ---
**Author:** ![seodoa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@seodoa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seodoa)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/15 "2009-01-19T11:33:19Z")
**seodoa** vs. an entire army of [these little cheesecakes](http://www.okasi-nakasima.com/info/pg14.html). Somebody set this battle up now, please. ETA: Hate to say it, but Strom would totally win. He would use his Mecha-Ultra Segregation Attack to make Storm go sit in the back of the bus. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/16 "2009-01-19T12:56:48Z")
Anybody vs. Stephen Hawking ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/17 "2009-01-19T12:59:59Z")
Most amusing - A sober Verne Troyer versus 10 drunken children ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/18 "2009-01-19T13:09:06Z")
Unicron vs. Wheelie ---
**Author:** ![Windwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/5e9695/32.png) [@Windwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Windwalker)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/19 "2009-01-19T13:38:07Z")
Jack Bauer vs. Kenny (from South Park) Jack’s a ferocious, torturing death-dealing machine, while Kenny seems to die if you wink at him the wrong way. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936/20 "2009-01-19T15:58:17Z")
Bruce Wayne vs. Lil’ Wayne. Jack Dempsey vs. Patrick Dempsey. Bruce Lee vs. Peggy Lee. Chuck Liddell vs. Alice Liddell. Archie Moore vs. Roger Moore. [Jimmy Carter](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Carter_(boxer)) vs. [Jimmy Carter](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Carter). [Jack Johnson](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Johnson_(boxer)) vs. [Jack Johnson](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Johnson_(musician)). Roberto Duran vs. Duran Duran. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/most-one-sided-fights/481936.md?page=2)