MSmith537 dises all the directors he can think of in the order he thinks of them:
John Carpenter - Hey I’ll just have Kurt Russel fight shape shifting aliens/ Chinese spirits or post apocyliptic gangs to the tune of cheesy sythesizer music (composed by me).
John Woo - I like doves and guys flying through the air firing pistols sideways.
Stanly Kubrick - I like filming long dull static shots of predominantly blue or red rooms to the sounds of classical music.
Paul Vorhoeven - I like taking classic science fiction writers, making their stories comically over-the-top violent and calling it satire.
James Cameron - Anyone can make a blockbuster if you give them $200 MM. Even if you put Bill Paxton in them all.
Michael Bay - Forget what I said making a blockbuster with $200 MM
Tony Scott - Plot holes and weak character development can be covered up by LOUD GIGANTIC EXPLOSIONS!
Steven Speilberg - Dude…you’re not all Schindler’s List and Jaws.
Francis Ford Coppala - Should have stopped at Godfather II.
Martin Scorsese - We get it. You like ganster movies and working with DeNiro.
Brain De Palma - Alfred Hitchcock called. He wants his technique back.
Roman Polanski - What? Chinatown and being a pedophile. That’s it.
Sam Raimi - Meh. I’ll call you if I need another Evil Dead movie or some crappy sci-fi/fantasy show with scantilly clad girls to occupy my Saturdays.
Akira Kurosawa - Ok…I don’t make films…but if I did they’d have a Samuri.
George Lucas - The only man alive who doesn’t like the original Star Wars movies.
Quinton Tarrentino - A true genius…provided you are a college sophomore.
Robert Rodriguez - Get me Quinton Tarrentino or his non-union Mexican equivalent!!!
Farrelly Bros - Should have retired the super-hot-chick/doofy guy/grossout comedy after Something About Mary.
Tim Burton - What the shit dude? Lay off the crackpipe!
Mel Gibson - Making a movie about Jesus does not make YOU Jesus.
M Night Shamalang - For the twist in your next movie - how about making it not suck?